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Meth addicted boyfriend

Discussion in 'Methamphetamine / Meth' started by Irma, May 4, 2018.

  1. Irma

    Irma Member

    My bf started using meth 6 months ago. I know he needs professional help but he says he can do it on his own. He stops for 2 weeks and always goes back. When hes on it he wont talk to anyone . he always breaks up with me as soon as he starts and a couple days later comes and looks for me apologizing and making promises to not do it again. He says that when hes on it he feels like i want to hurt him. I love him but i cant handle what he does to me. Its not fair him breaking up with me all the time saying he wants nothing to do with me. I just want to help him
    Lynnette likes this.
  2. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @Irma hello and welcome. the thing is, you can't help him. he's got to figure this out on his own and will most likely need some professional help to get and stay clean.... to "recover" from this addiction.

    meth can be extremely addictive....and so challenging to stay off, especially if he's got other issues (anxiety, depression, financial issues or the stresses of job, life, etc.)

    if it were me, and i want to walk the unpredictable road with a recovering addict, i'd set some very firm boundaries. zero tolerance for drug use, active participation in a recovery program or treatment center, and counseling. i'd require honesty, and no drama. but that's just me. i want and need a healthy relationship with a partner and won't accept less. and if someone can't give me that, then they need to go be with someone else or work on getting themselves together.

    it's not fair what he does to you. what would you tell a friend or family member to do in the same situation?
  3. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Irma... Like Nar-Anon teaches, you didn't cause his addiction, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. It's all on him. If he chooses to get help, you can be supportive. But if he doesn't reach out for assistance, you can't force him to. Do people get off of meth on their own? Sure. But I think it's way easier, and less "painful" withdrawal-wise, if they get professional help.

    @Dominica is right: You need to set some boundaries and stick to them. You also may want to do some reading. Some of my favorite books, a few of which could really help you understand things, are in this blog I wrote a while back.

    6 Essential Books for Those with an Addicted Loved One

    I'm sending you love, light, and hope. And I will keep you and your boyfriend in my thoughts and prayers. It's beyond challenging to be with someone who struggles with addiction. The most important thing you can do is practice self-care, because YOU are the only person you have control over.

    We will support and help you however we can. Reach out anytime you need to.
    Dominica likes this.
  4. Lynnette

    Lynnette Member

    How are you? Have things progressed. I’m going through very similar problems. My husband is trying to quit. He says when he’s out this time he’s done for good. Is he telling the truth or is he going to keep on? I don’t trust him. I’m really trying to.
    True concern, deanokat and Dominica like this.
  5. Trying_To_Cope

    Trying_To_Cope Active Contributor

    I just posted a thread with the same story as you, but the longer version. I understand everything you are going through. I'm having trouble trying to cope with this one and he turned into a different monster so fast that i didnt even have time to get over the shock of the actions he had displayed. My man of 4 years just dumped me in the most brutal way because of a light being on or off. Men react so differently and like mine, they start to lose site of who they really are and become violent. I'm going through it as well and i'm here to give any advice. If your man in doing that, then its only going to get worse. Trust me, the longer it takes, the worse they will get.
    In my prayers for sure..
    deanokat likes this.