An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the Forums?Join or

Meth always wins.

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by Rage23, Sep 3, 2019.

  1. Rage23

    Rage23 Member

    I have been with my wife for 13 years now. We have two kids and I do love her, but she is also a meth addict. in 13 years she has had various relapses, if I had to put a number on it, I would say one or two a year. However, this year has been a bad one. She has relapsed four times and when she isn't doing meth she is drinking to take the edge off. She however is an angry person when drinking and blames me for her relapses. She thinks I am spying on her, even when I am not home. She gets angry if I ask questions like " did you smoke today or drink?". She says "give me privacy, I don't need you to be all in my business, but we have two kids, 6 and 8, and she is with them most of the time. That is my main concern, and really the main reason I stick around. I spoke to a divorce lawyer and it seemed like their is a possibility that she can keep the kids, being that their is no neglect towards them and if asked, my kids would want to stay home. At this point I do not know if I should just leave my kids and her to maintain sanity, or keep fighting until they are old enough to better understand. On a bad day she runs me out of the house and the next day she uses my kids to lure me back in. I am really find it difficult to get away from my kids, but my mental health is taking a toll on me in a physical manner now. I cant sleep or eat, and just too tired to do anything. I wish their was a perfect solution, but I know their isn't. I feel like I am the reason she smokes and drinks, but when I am away I know I am not. I am just fighting against something I know I can't beat, because it is not my fight, it is hers.
  2. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    @Rage23 hello and welcome. I'm sorry that no one has responded to your post. We lost our community listeners and there are only a few of us addicts left but we do want to help. Have you thought about attending ALANON? These meetings are for family members of addicts and they can provide you with some tools to deal with your wife. It's a shame that as a man you can't get custody of your kids because of her abuse. If she has not placed them in harm and takes care of them it's hard to prove. Hang in there. Keep loving your kids. Remember she is still in there somewhere.