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Meth always wins.

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by Rage23, Sep 3, 2019.

  1. Rage23

    Rage23 Member

    I have been with my wife for 13 years now. We have two kids and I do love her, but she is also a meth addict. in 13 years she has had various relapses, if I had to put a number on it, I would say one or two a year. However, this year has been a bad one. She has relapsed four times and when she isn't doing meth she is drinking to take the edge off. She however is an angry person when drinking and blames me for her relapses. She thinks I am spying on her, even when I am not home. She gets angry if I ask questions like " did you smoke today or drink?". She says "give me privacy, I don't need you to be all in my business, but we have two kids, 6 and 8, and she is with them most of the time. That is my main concern, and really the main reason I stick around. I spoke to a divorce lawyer and it seemed like their is a possibility that she can keep the kids, being that their is no neglect towards them and if asked, my kids would want to stay home. At this point I do not know if I should just leave my kids and her to maintain sanity, or keep fighting until they are old enough to better understand. On a bad day she runs me out of the house and the next day she uses my kids to lure me back in. I am really find it difficult to get away from my kids, but my mental health is taking a toll on me in a physical manner now. I cant sleep or eat, and just too tired to do anything. I wish their was a perfect solution, but I know their isn't. I feel like I am the reason she smokes and drinks, but when I am away I know I am not. I am just fighting against something I know I can't beat, because it is not my fight, it is hers.
  2. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    @Rage23 hello and welcome. I'm sorry that no one has responded to your post. We lost our community listeners and there are only a few of us addicts left but we do want to help. Have you thought about attending ALANON? These meetings are for family members of addicts and they can provide you with some tools to deal with your wife. It's a shame that as a man you can't get custody of your kids because of her abuse. If she has not placed them in harm and takes care of them it's hard to prove. Hang in there. Keep loving your kids. Remember she is still in there somewhere.
  3. Tired Wife

    Tired Wife Member

    Your title says it all. Meth always wins is 100% true. My husband is also an addict. He can’t go more than 3 days without it. I know I don’t love him anymore, but I will stay until I am financially ready to leave. My end goal is to get far away from
    him with my kids. I’m not sure when that will be but I am trying everyday.

    Keep fighting for your kids
    Joshstillclean likes this.
  4. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    I will pray for you both as meth at one time controlled my life to the point of losing all my loved one's, now free of the complete grasp of meth I often sit in sadness at the love iv e lost and the family I never see.I apologize for every meth addict who can't see what they are destroying but they will feel it once it's gone and to late.Stay Strong and Do What's Best For You And Your Kids
  5. Jthompson

    Jthompson Member

    Thank you for sharing your story. I am new but not really. My bestfriend of 12 years now boyfriend is currently incarcerated,Due to be released in 77 days. I am trying to do all I can to help to be a strong supporter. My Gabe used Meth for a little over 1 year, in the year his girlfriend at the time also a user. Drug fueled B&E's, Home Invasions. Both were charged and serving time. I learned he was arrested I was JUSt happy he wasn't dead. We rebuilt our friendship and into a relationship. How can I help. I understand he staying clean is on him But I know support is major.
  6. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    @Jthompson hello. You may want to start your own thread so more people see it. My son's girlfriend is in jail and part of the reason is meth. She went to their drug block and graduated from drug school. He should be able to attend AA or NA meetings in there. Make sure he has a plan for when he gets out.