@Trying_To_Cope... I'm really sorry that your day started off poorly. Hopefully, it will end better than it started. Keep the faith, my friend.
Also, as far as staying away from the hospital... I agree that it's probably best that you didn't go, because having an incident happen would've been horrible for your friend. But I'm confused as to why your ex was so adamant about you not going to be with your friend. Why didn't he want you to go and support her? I mean, I could kind of understand it if it was a guy friend in the hospital; I could see him being jealous and not wanting you to go see him. But I don't get why he wouldn't want you to go support a girl friend. Not that it's important. I'm just curious is all. It's good that you sent your friend a card. Maybe you can call her tonight to check up on her?
You sound like an amazing person who is stuck in a tough situation. Please know that there are better things in the future for you. I hope you can find someone who gives you the love and respect you deserve, and allows you to be happy and healthy...both physically and mentally.
I think some radical self-care is in order, my dear. Take some time to treat yourself to things that make you happy. Whether that's a massage or a pedicure or just doing something fun like watching a funny movie or buying some bubbles and making bubbles like crazy like you did when you were a kid...just do it! You are the most important person in your life. Period. So be kind to yourself. Always.
We're all behind you 100%. Anytime you need help, support, a place to vent, or a pep talk, come hit us up, okay? That's what we're here for! So take advantage of us!
Sending love, light, hope, and hugs in your direction.

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