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Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by Sage, Nov 20, 2017.

  1. Sage

    Sage Member

    My boyfriend has a Meth history. I am not sure whether he was an addict, or how many times he did it, we never talked about it in such detail. But I know he used it long before he met me.
    We have been together for about two years now, and shortly after we met, he expressed an interest in doing it again.
    He has changed his mind over time, and assured me that he doesn't want to walk down that road again.
    But I have a fear now of everything related to his history. I even avoid TV shows about meth, or the places where he did it, since all it does is trigger this fear in me and my imagination starts spiraling.
    Sometimes it gets so bad that I can visualize him doing Meth (after watching Breaking Bad), and I get so upset, withdrawn and quiet. We usually fight afterwards because of my 'mood swings'.
    He says that he can't promise me he won't ever touch the stuff again, and that I should just trust him. That he wont' hurt me or put me in that situation since it would be so unfair towards me.

    The truth is, it is really hard to do that since he expressed a desire in the past to do it again. He might not have meant it at the time but the words stuck. I am avoiding all talks of his past period, because Meth is usually a topic, and I even avoid all his friends from his Meth history.

    Obviously avoiding this can't be healthy; since we already fight every time I mention it.

    He says he can't change the past and that I should get over my insecurities about it, that worrying about the future will only ruin what we have now.

    I don't want to spend the rest of my life thinking about this everyday. I have so much anxiety over this.

    What can I do?
  2. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    You should trust him until he gives you a reason not to,unfortunately you are becoming withdrawn over his past even though he hasnt broken any barriers.In a relationship you must communicate and be open and honest with one another.He obviously thinks enough of you to be honest and open with you and that is something I think you should appreciate as the world is full of liars and at this point he has not been one.I'm a recovering meth addict of over20 year's and i spend alot of time offering honest sober advice in hopes it helps but i to at times talk about my past meth use as a way to release the thought or urge,and honestly at times i make fun of myself when i remember how i would act.At times i would get so paranoid i would think my house was surrounded by police and i would open the blinds super fast and yell "IDENTIFY YOURSELF"i can laugh about it now and usually the noise i would her outside was actually the noise i was making inside searching under the coutch for spy's lol.Take care give him a chance to be honest or it will not work out.God bless and take care
    Lostboy8731 and Dominica like this.