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Middling Minds who need help

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by GIAJolez, Apr 26, 2016.

  1. GIAJolez

    GIAJolez Member

    Hello. I've met a 23 year old man,1 month ago, for confidentiality purposes will call him James. His father, a billionaire, died last year of a heart attack. His mother is and has been suffering from schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. James has inherited his father's wealth. With no family, a miserable lonely man, takes 14 Xanax daily, valium, with a mixture of percs as well as marijuana and hash all with alcohol. His tolerance clearly is very high. He is well into depression, and I've come to love a man who needs help. I've been trying, but nothing works. Its awkward in public. However what bothers me is watching him take the pills, while I just sit and beg or watch him do it. All the money in the world can't buy happiness. He's an intelligent man, and no one is by his side. Has no one. I can understand why he does take drugs. But why waste away like this? I need some guidance and help myself. I've noticed drug addicts are very impatient, time ticks. Since he doesn't listen to me,doesn't seem interested in seeking guidance, I've come to a sad conclusion that he doesn't have much time to live so all I have been doing is photographing him, making videos of him. Its a sad state for him as well as I to be in.
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @GIAJolez... Welcome to the community and thanks for sharing with us. I'm sorry that you're experiencing what you are with your friend. Unfortunately, no matter how much we want someone we care about to stop their addictive behavior, we can't fix them. They have to be the one to decide to make the change. The one thing you should remember is that you have to make sure you take care of yourself. If you become addicted to your friend's addiction, it will consume you, too.

    There's a terrific book out there called Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change. It's written specifically for partners/loved ones of addicts and it's full of great information. I think you'd benefit greatly from reading about it. I talk about the book a little more in a blog I wrote not too long ago. Here's the link:

    6 Essential Books for Those with an Addicted Loved One

    We are here to help and support you. You are definitely not alone, so reach out anytime you need to.

    I will keep you and your friend in my thoughts and prayers. And I'm sending you peace and hugs.
  3. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    Hello @GIAJolez Is there a time he is sober to help him see reasons why he should get professional help? If not, then all I can say is pray for a miracle. I am sure he is drowning his sorrows in his addiction and does not mind if he dies.

    Do your best to help but when your best seems futile, you may have to leave before you become engaged in his habits.