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miss it B A D L Y

Discussion in 'Cocaine' started by nebula, Jul 13, 2015.

  1. nebula

    nebula Member

    I will never touch coke again. That has been easy for me to do, actually. I'll admit that I miss it so much, though.

    I miss the way it tastes and the way it made my face feel numb; I miss the way it tricked my brain into genuinely feeling the most happy and joyous and free I had ever felt in my life. It was such a sensory experience... making everything vibrant and gorgeous and irresistible. I miss how reckless it made me feel, like I was in complete control yet none at all. It was the rush of a lifetime.

    What I don't miss about it is the way it made me feel when I ran out. I would scan my floor for sometimes hours for remaining pieces I may not have seen. When the reality sank in that everything was gone and I couldn't get more, my brain took me to scary places. I would feel so much guilt and shame. I would completely shut out the world. This was one of the scariest times in my mother's life. Hell, mine too.

    Okay. Maybe I don't miss it that much after all. And this is why journaling is effective, friends! Have a magical day.
  2. Auril

    Auril Active Contributor

    I'm glad you are staying strong and not going back to it, despite the times you miss it. Life is better when you're sober, even though it is hard at times. Stay strong and remember people are here if you need help!
  3. harold

    harold Community Champion

    You just need to remain strong and continue focusing on the positive aspects of quitting. You have won a great challenge already and needs to complete the victory by staying clean. I like the way you have expressed the negative aspect of the whole experience. You need to continue seeing the ill in returning to previous habits and remain proud in the accomplishment and victory you have had over drugs. Keep it up. You are a brave person. I wish some of these addicts out there could learn something from you.
  4. MyDigitalpoint

    MyDigitalpoint Community Champion

    Being strong is certainly the hardest way with any addiction, but cocaine and heroine are specially difficult to withdraw, so don't give up ever again and stay strong as you have been doing to date.
  5. rightct

    rightct Community Champion

    If I were you, I'd think of it this way: Is your life better now that you quit taking drugs, or is it better if you'd still take drugs? I'd always pick the former, and I'm sure you'd, too. Make the right choice, that is, don't go back to drugs.
  6. kjones

    kjones Member

    Were you living with your mom when you were using? I'm sure she was worried about you and probably still worries about you. How long have you been free from cocaine?