New to the DrugAbuse.com Forums?Join or

Mom + Dad hard crack usage

Discussion in 'Cocaine' started by Falcon, May 16, 2018.

  1. Falcon

    Falcon Member

    Like the title says, my mom and dad are heavy on drugs. Its been like 4 years or something since (long story) things happened and my dad relapsed and my mom began doing crack regularly. I live with my mom - things are suppose to be all good yet - she cannot break her habit as she is beginning to sell things around the house, has weird dissociative qorks about her, and is all around acting like a nut job and talking way too much. The point here is shes acting weird, and focusing on one parent at a time, how do i go about getting her out of her infinite loop of - use drugs and ruin our chance of normality and keep our home?
  2. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @Falcon hello and welcome. I'm sorry your parents are on drugs. Unfortunately there's not a lot you can do is she is not willing to stop. Does she want to try? Is she willing to see an addiction specialist?
  3. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Falcon... Welcome to the forums and thanks for sharing with us. I'm very sorry to hear about your parents and their drug use. Unfortunately, unless they want to make a change, there's not a whole lot you can do for them. It's like Al-Anon and Nar-Anon teach us about a loved one's addiction: "You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it."

    Have you tried going to support group meetings for yourself? I think they could really help you. You may also want to think about seeing a therapist. You are the only person you can control, so getting help for yourself while you deal with your parents' issues is a good idea.
  4. Falcon

    Falcon Member

    @deanokat thank u i like that idea. Yes, i currently have a therapist & psychiatrist. Ive yet to join a group though. @Dominica as of now she probably wont admit its a problem, even to the point of having no money for rent or food. And we have a good living situation in comparison to the past and she takes it for granted as if we did not just emerge , by the edge of our teeth , from hellville. I cant let her take me back to hell. So anyway people have told me its not my responcibility to protect her and/or help her, so i will go with that. I have protected her once and she sees little acknowledgement or value in my actions. I think she thinks drugs are gonna bring her back to the good days of feeling good. It will implode at some point. It will for her, not me though, i cannot be in the crossfire for this one.
  5. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Falcon... If we try too hard to control or fix our addicted loved one, we will become addicted to their addiction. When that happens, everyone suffers. Don't allow yourself to get to that point. Focus the one person you have complete control over. YOU.
    True concern likes this.
  6. Falcon

    Falcon Member

    deanokat likes this.
  7. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    @Falcon i truly feel for you and i know first hand how hard it is,the situation your in.When i first started using meth which I don't use anymore but in the beginning my mom took me to her brother's house to keep me off drug's and away from that lifestyle and literally as she drove away he laid down the biggest line i had ever seen in my life and said "here you go" i was young and stupid i didnt see it at the time but he advanced my addiction to insane levels,at one point we stayed awake 23 day's with only accidental sleep in between of like 30-40 mins.I almost died several month's later and actually was pronounced dead on a hospital table but by the grace of God and the plea of a nurse i survived.I some how pulled out of the cycle for a few year's to have the same uncle pull me back in,and @deanokat is correct now that i think about it but I tried to get this uncle to see a better life waiting for him and he slowly brought me back around to doing the same **** again,which i am free of now but not until it took me back to a place where I wanted to die,and I prayed for along time trying to find a way out and i was able to stop again.The trap is my mom feels some kind of responsibility for my uncle and he still lives with her and nothing will make her let go of that,but i ended up with a little sister that my parent's adopted because my mom thought the baby was my uncle's and the state was going to take her because her birth mom was on dope as was my uncle,however the little girl was not his and now i have a 6 year old sister and I believe that i was able to let go of my addiction's to protect her from him and the craziness that my family goes through with addiction so i must stay strong for her and i will,but it's a struggle i will not lie.These people on this site have given me a place to turn,people to talk to and i can't thank them enough.I have a family to take care of and it's not easy and i believe that the only reason I stand a chance now is my faith which is literally the only thing in my life I've always had even in the darkest of time's,i've always felt thete was a bigger reason for the life i lived as i honestly always hated drug's yet for some reason couldn't get enough.Be careful and focus on you,its an absolute must if you ever want to be able to help them,but right now you have to get you in a better place,mentally and physically you have to take care of you before you can take care of them,i understand this now that I'm a little older but when i was younger it made no sense.I care for people maybe to much and it's bit me in the a×s a few times but now i see clearer,i understand better,and i focus my memories of hurt and pain into strength for my little sister and older brother who has a learning disability,i have to be here for them,but i absolutely had to step back and fix me first and i was able to do that because i will never allow them to hurt the way i have.I understand your dilemma,i can relate to your pain as i live it the same my parent's are older now and addicted to prescription drugs,but it's the same.I share on here probably going off track or subject but i do what's necessary for me to be here for them,and to be here for them i have to be here for me first.Stay Strong and God Bless.You can overcome your situation,you can better YOUR life,i apologize for rambling on Take Care
    deanokat likes this.
  8. Falcon

    Falcon Member

    @True concern thx man , you def the man i been readin all your storys on here. ill just see things through, nd stick around the website - good happy place here , good energy.
    deanokat and True concern like this.
  9. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @Falcon I think it's great that you're reaching out for suggestions, and this is a learning process for you . Learning how to be around them in the midst of a loved one who is struggling with addiction as part of your process . Know that we're here to help you anyway that we can .
    True concern likes this.
  10. Falcon

    Falcon Member

    @Dominica ty, i also noticed today how subtley she works in guilt trips and feelbad scenarios . Ive never noticed them or why i was feeling so bad . Quite clever ill say. I think things are gonna go good for me as the least of things.
    Dominica likes this.
  11. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Awesome glad to hear your going to stick around,i read a reply to dominica where you mentioned guilt trips and i get those as well....they fuc×ing suck and im sorry anyone has to deal with that as it sucks to be made to blame for trying to help..anyways Stay Strong and God Bless Take Care
    Dominica and Falcon like this.
  12. Falcon

    Falcon Member

    things r going good. I told her a funny story, made her laugh , we talked - came to an understanding and i feel lot better . Thank you
    Dominica and True concern like this.
  13. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Glad to hear that,laughter always helps.Have a wonderful night,Take Care
    Dominica likes this.
  14. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    So glad that you’re feeling better. And thank you for the update. Just know that we’re here any time to listen and give you insight and encouragement as we see fit. We are totally rooting for you!
  15. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    I'm happy to hear things are going better, @Falcon. Keep us in the loop, okay? We're here and we care!
  16. Falcon

    Falcon Member

    Root for me team. Im hot to trot like a laser robot. I dont know what that even means but, its good, i think. Today was a sad day cause i was like ****, im so autistic now im far off into deep-huba-space with my thoughts. But, ive somehow managed to save some lives i believe. Deep-huba-space 1, Mom on Deep-huba-crack 0. Over&out
  17. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    i've never heard that saying, haha. sorry you are having a sad kind of day.
  18. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    @Falcon are you ok,i don't know how to interpret your comment.Anyways Stay Strong and God Bless
  19. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Hey, @Falcon... Let us know how you're doing, okay? We're here and we care.
    True concern likes this.