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Mom was a lifetime drug user

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by JoshPosh, Jan 7, 2015.

  1. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    As long as I can remember, my mom has been using some kind of controlled substance. I wasn't in preschool yet and she was already smoking pot and doing other drugs and alcohol. If it wasn't here then it was her friends that frequent our home just to hang out and smoke in front of the kids.

    I remember seeing a weird plant in the front yard. My mom would spend extra time and care into this plant. Years later I found out that it was Marijuana. Jezzz. She use to hang them in the back yard and dry them out. They had the odor that is unmistakable.

    Later in life I too became a borderline Alcoholic. I tried pot 3 or 4 times in my whole life but I was never addicted to it.

    So that's my early life story. My mom has since passed away due to complications of lifetime drug and alcohol abuse.
  2. Charles P.

    Charles P. Community Advocate

    Hey Josh,
    We have something in common, we both lost our mothers to addiction. My mom wasn't growing weed in our yard, but I am pretty sure she drove while under the influence with me and my sister in the car. Maybe if she was growing and smoking weed, she still might be here with us. I am not trying to make light of the situation, I am just trying to figure out what she was going through, but unfortunately, anyone that knew my mom when she was younger, is either gone, or won't talk about what happened. I don't know your mom's back story, but my mother had a horrible childhood. I am not giving her an out, but I truly believe that my mom was slowly committing suicide over her years of drinking, after learning some of the things she was forced to indure. How are you doing with the passing of your mom? Has it been some time?

    Charles P.
  3. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    Well, from the looks of it, you seem like a pretty resilient guy. You may get into trouble once in a while but something tells me you're more than capable of bouncing back from past mistakes and erroneous judgments. Regardless of what she did, I'm sure your mother isn't really a bad woman. After all, she chose to bring you into this world and cared for you in her own way. Wherever she is, she'll be happy knowing you've grown up well.
  4. juno

    juno Community Champion

    It seems that you have endured and come out of it strong. A parent not being fully there due to use and then losing their life to it is a painful situation and something you carry with you. However, the outcome of who you are can still be contributed to parenting, so there must have been something good that she did.
  5. bluedressed

    bluedressed Community Champion

    "I tried pot 3 or 4 times in my whole life but I was never addicted to it."

    Might be because there is no addictive substance in weed. It's psychological addiction, from what I've gathered, and if you had a bad association with your mom, it could have prevented you from falling into the habit or the "mood" that would have pushed you to desire more of this feeling.
  6. stariie

    stariie Community Champion

    Sorry to hear about your mom:(. It's always sad to hear about when things happen like that early in one's life during their childhood.
    Drugs are a terrible thing, they can grab on to a person and it's almost like the drug is alive because it does not want to let the person go. It doesn't help matters that whatever the person is going through can be sometimes "medicated" by the drug, then the person gets hooked on the feeling of 'not-feeling', or hooked onto the feeling of the drug being in their system.
    I knew a man that I had known for years, lived right by him. One day I found out that he smoked crack. I told him that I didn't know he smoked crack because I had never seen him high, he told me, no, you've never seen me not high.

    Bottom line, it's a battle.
  7. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    My mom passed away a lonely person. Why? She was a bad person that did nothing but create havoc and turmoil in other peoples lives. In her final days we (her kids) wasn't on the visitors list when she was admitted into the hospital. We eventually got in because it was a low end "ghetto" hospital. I said my goodbyes but she had a resentful look on her face when I did it.

    The truth is, that's life. She was a cold hearted bitch. That is the truth and none you can say otherwise.
  8. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Wow isn't it odd when you realize like this, as an adult. The precious plant. She grew her own and dried it herself. I guess a mom like this would be considered cool. I don't know. Yeah my Mom was always on something and drinking. I saw the alcohol sometimes in her hand and knew that. I did not realize that she was on a lot of prescription psychotropic drugs my whole childhood. I just found out recently.
    JoshPosh your Mom was a cold hearted bitch. Well I know what that's like. I just put it together that when my Mom is nasty she's either drunk or coming out of it. My Dad says she's been like this since the day I met her. I'm thinking and you married her. My Dad use to do the same things as my Mom, but now she's got him into the pills. I don't know maybe he was on drugs too when I was a kid. He certainly was often very cold hearted. Well mine are still alive.
    Your Mom had a resentful look in her eyes when you said good-bye. Probably because she didn't like you telling her basically that it was her time and that she was about to die. I don't really understand people who wait this long and just never try to change. They live in small little box of a world.
  9. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    Sorry to hear that your childhood was filled with drugs and a mom who wasn't there for you. No child should have to go through that. I see you have a lot of anger and resentment towards your mother for your upbringing. I hope some day you are able to find peace and are able to let it go. She is gone now and can no longer cause you problems. I guess it is difficult to understand unless you have gone through it. I am glad you were able to take the time to share your story with us. It helps us better understand your other posts.
  10. ReadmeByAmy

    ReadmeByAmy Community Champion

    All of us had our own life story either it is good or bad. @JoshPosh Thank you for the courage of sharing your story with us here. I do hope and pray that the experiences you had with your mother although it is not good will not totally affect your views in life. Just pray for the peace of her soul and always remember that life has still many things to offer to you.
  11. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    Parents should never put their children through that kind of life. Still it saddens me that she passed without trying to mend what was broken.

    I hope this is a lesson to us parents who might be reading this never to create those kinds of scars in the lives of our children.
    Proudmomma likes this.
  12. SarahWorksAtHome

    SarahWorksAtHome Community Champion

    It sounds like your mom might have been bitter due to hurt that maybe even nobody but her know about. Just speculation. I've found that often, hurt people hurt people. I hate she passed on with resentment still there but glad you were able to at least say goodbye to her.
  13. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    Seems like you have not forgiven your mom for the neglect that you have experienced as a kid when she was busy getting high, which is understandable. At least you did not become exactly like her and I hope you are now sober.
  14. Carnold23

    Carnold23 Community Champion

    I'm so sorry about the loss of your mother.
    You seem to have been through so much in your life. I find the strongest and kindest people are the ones who have seen the darkness in this world. Myself included. We are all here to support you.
  15. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    Wow, well it is amazing that you have come out as well as you have. I never used pot, but I used to drink in front of my son when he was young. This was basically due to stress and being a single parent. I was never an addict, but have used alcohol inappropriately at times maybe..It is no wonder my son smoked pot when he was young. I don't think he is doing any illegal substance now, but he still smokes. cigarettes..and that is not good. I hope he might vape, that might help.
  16. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    I am so sorry to hear about your mother. It is strange how we are exposed to things as kids and don't realize what was going on until we are much older. It is like our minds can't process the significance of what we see until we have had experience later in life and can put 2 and 2 together. My friend's mom was a meth head when we were kids and would stay away from the home for days and days. She cleaned her life up before it was too late.
  17. knitmehere

    knitmehere Community Champion

    I'm sorry that you had to go through that and I'm sorry that you lost your mother to it. We come from similar backgrounds in the terms that my parents did drugs their whole lives , even in front of their children. My father grew pot in our basement my whole life. So, I have sympathy for you.