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My 33 year old son is on Meth

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by MollyB, Nov 19, 2017.

  1. MollyB

    MollyB Member

    Hi, I have a married son that has 4 children 15,12,10,& 5 years old. 3 weeks ago my husband and I found out from his wife that he has been doing meth. He is a Purple Heart Veteran and has always been my hero. My daughter in law doesn't even try to help us help him. It's so heartbreaking to hear my 10 yr old granddaughter tell me how her daddy wakes them up at 2am and they have to walk their house with a golf club watching the doors and windows and then go to school. My son started getting paranoid little by little until he didn't have a moment of normal thinking. So as he got worse I as his mother had to go to probate court and sign to have him involuntary committed. He was sent to a hospital for 6-7 days for mental illness and was diagnosed with ptsd with depression and psychosis, meth use. The judge order him to call everyday to see if his color came up to do a drug test. He agreed to do any and all testing. Then when his color came up he was mad at me for him having to go and do the drug test. Now he's so mad at me saying I lied and I need to call the court and tell the judge that I lied or that it was a misunderstanding. I think he's mad because having to do court ordered drug test he can't do anymore meth? And if I tell his wife anything she tells him everything I say. She goes to work and then goes to college for of all things Nursing School and leaves the 3 little girls in his care. He sees nothing wrong doing meth because he's a grown man and it's in his on house. It's all a nightmare. Is there Any hope my son will get the help he needs? Thank You all for listening
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2017
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @MollyB... Welcome and thanks for sharing your story with us. I'm very sorry to hear about your son's meth use. I wish there was a magic cure I could share with you, but, unfortunately there isn't. One thing to remember, though, is what Al-Anon and Nar-Anon teach us about a loved one's addiction: "You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it." It doesn't matter how much you, want your son to change; he is the only one who can take the steps necessary to do so.

    It doesn't sound like your son's home is the best environment for his kids. If their mom is going off to school and leaving the kids in your son's care, that could potentially be dangerous. Have you talked to your daughter-in-law about that specifically? Your son's drug use could also possibly influence his kids' behavior, too. Especially the 15-year-old, who is at that age when kids frequently think about experimenting with drugs. I think the best thing would be for your son to get some professional help for his addiction. Is that something he'd be willing to do? Going to a treatment facility that specializes in dual-diagnosis (addiction + mental health issues) would be a very good thing for your son. Maybe you could sit down with him and have a loving, heart-to-heart conversation with him about it.

    I'm sending you lots of love, light, and hope. As the father of an adult son who has struggled with addiction and mental health issues for about a dozen years, I know a little bit of what you're going through. It's so incredibly difficult when we see our kids struggle with something we can't fix. We just have to be supportive and loving and hope they see the light at some point.

    I will keep your son and his family in my thoughts and prayers.
  3. MollyB

    MollyB Member

    Thank You Deanokat for the warm welcome.
    My son is not willing to get help. He blames me for his 7 day stay in a mental behavioral health facility. My daughter in law doesn't seem to have any concerns for the children to be staying with him while she goes to work and to nursing school. The 15 year old lives with my son 1 wife and only visits his dad every other weekend. My son says that I lied when I signed the involuntary commitment paper at the probate office saying that I lied about him saying he would hurt himself and family. He was seeing and hearing voices and the voices were telling him that he and his family might be tortured and he told me he would take us all out before he let anyone torture us. So now when we went to probate hearing after his 7 days in hospital the judge told him he would have to do a color code drug test and he told the judge that those stipulations were fine. That was on a Thursday then Monday morning his color comes up and he said he wasn't going but finally did. He says I took his rights and freedom away. He sees nothing wrong with doing meth because he's in his own house. I think he is mad because he has to do the drug test and can't do meth.
    And I'm wondering now if my daughter in law is still doing meth herself? She said she did it with him the first month or two but she stopped because she doesn't have an additive personality. I don't know if this is anything but does anyone know why she carries a needle and a syringe still in plastic wrap of sodium chloride? Thanks for all the Love and prayers & for letting me vent. I plan on going to a NA support group at least for myself. Love and Prayers to you all.
  4. MollyB

    MollyB Member

    Hi everyone. I was sent a text message yesterday from my daughter in law wanting me to watch a YouTube video about Gang Stalking. She said that this explains everything my son is going through. I myself do not believe this to be the case. She knows he has been doing meth. She told my husband and me that he's been doing it for only about 6 months and that she even done it with him. I am really wondering if she is still on the meth also. She says she only did it for a month ot two. I know I can't make my son get help unless he wants it. But I feel that she keeps making excuses for him and I don't see that as helpful. When he was in a heavy psychosis and was hearing people talking under their house or phone ringing in ceiling of their mobile home she would agree with him. I just don't know what to say to her to stop making excuses for him. Thanks in advance for info. Love & Prayers to you all.
  5. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @MollyB... I'm sorry that your son won't get help. I know how frustrating that is. As parents, we want so much to fix our kids. But addiction is something we can't fix.

    I'm sorry, but I have no idea why your daughter-in-law would be carrying around a needle/syringe. Unless she has a medical condition that might require something like that, it could be a red flag. And from what you say, it sounds like she might be using, too. That gang stalking video is a little strange. I'm not saying it couldn't be true...but it does sound a little paranoid/delusional. (Just my opinion.)

    As much as it pains you to do so, it might be best to just detach for a bit. Detaching doesn't mean you stop loving and caring. It just means you learn to do those things without making yourself crazy.

    If you're willing to do some reading, there are some really good books out there that might help you understand addiction. They can help with things like communicating with your son, too. Here's a link to a blog where I discuss some of the best books out there:

    6 Essential Books for Those with an Addicted Loved One

    I will keep praying for you guys. Feel free to reach out anytime.
  6. MollyB

    MollyB Member

    Thank You so much for the great advice. My DIL doesn't have any type of medical condition that requires a needle and the syringe is sodium chloride. And I will read anything that will help me communicate better with my son. Thank You once again. Sending Love and Prayers to you.
    deanokat likes this.
  7. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    You're very welcome, @MollyB. I am continuing to pray for you and your family.