An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the Forums?Join or

My Alcoholic Uncle

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by gracer, Jan 16, 2016.

  1. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    I have an uncle who has been an alcoholic for as long as I can remember, I think he has been an alcoholic even before I was born. He is much younger than my dad but my uncle looks a lot older because of his alcoholism. He has slowed down a bit now because he hs been feeling the effects of alcohol on his health lately. I think he's on his early 60s now but he now has difficulty of hearing so we have to literally shout as we speak with him.

    I know that he has done it to himself but I also pity him for his current state right now. He's alone in life without any body to take care of him because his wife left him years ago due to his alcoholism and gambling. This is his story and I hope it will serve as a lesson for everyone to reform as early as you can before you lose everything and everyone you've always cared for.
  2. 111kg

    111kg Community Champion

    I know very well this type of guys. First they drink because they like it, no matter of the implication and when they lose everything, they are so miserable that they drink to forget, without seeing that they were the only one responsible for pushing their once-close ones away from them.

    Obviously they should be helped, yet many of them think they are just victims and that there is nothing wrong with them.
    gracer likes this.
  3. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    I think my uncle has somehow realized his past mistakes but I don't know if his family is ready to accept him back again right now. His daughters have their own lives now and they never bothered to visit him despite his plea for them to visit him. The pain that he has given them could have been so great for them to overcome but I guess one thing that he has done right for them was his continued support for them despite his alcoholism. I really hope they would all come into terms someday before everything would be so late.
  4. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    It is sad that he lost everything because of alcohol. Now that he is older and he realizes it, they have moved on with their lives without him. I do feel bad for him too, now that he is older and all alone. He had plenty of time now to think about all the hurt he inflicted on all those who loved him. Maybe in time they can forgive him but they may never. I will say a prayer for your uncle.
    gracer likes this.
  5. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    I had a great uncle who died recently who spent the first half of his life as an alcoholic. He lost his marriage...and for a time his children..also it did affect his health significantly because while drunk and crossing the street he was hit by a car, and became disabled to a certain extent. However, that incident was enough to sober him up...and he became active in the church and was a great his children's children, and tried his best to make up for lost time. He had a real metamorphosis, so to some extent, I guess you could say that accident was the best thing that could have happened to him. I wouldnt wish that on your uncle though.
    gracer likes this.
  6. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    Those are the effects of alcoholism and intense gambling, he only has himself to blame. My parents are both addicted to cigarettes and my father drinks, I think you can imagine how much that put a strain to our relationship. I wasn't able to live a normal life until I finally moved out of the house.
    gracer likes this.
  7. rtorir

    rtorir Member

    You will hear people with problems on gambling and alcoholism who lost everything they worked for. Addiction to gambling is worse than that for alcoholism because it has no medication. It is only through education and awareness that the victim of this hideous addiction may be assisted.
    gracer likes this.
  8. 111kg

    111kg Community Champion

    Maybe you can help him. Pay him a visit and talk about his problems. Talk about his alcoholism, talk about whether or not he is done with that time. Maybe you can persuade your cousins to visit him just once. It can really make a difference.
    gracer likes this.
  9. Your uncle, in my opinion, has made up his mind and determined what's more important to him: drinking! It's unfortunate and saddening to know and love someone who's struggling with such an addiction. At this point, I feel your only way to help him live a sober life is to pray. Nevertheless, your story alone will help me to remain focused on my goal and maintain sobriety.
    gracer likes this.
  10. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    Well, that's such a sad story, but he has no one to blame but himself. I guess he saw that coming already but he still did not stop his bad ways. So now he is paying the price of his bad decisions.
    gracer likes this.
  11. djolem

    djolem Senior Contributor

    My uncle is also an alcoholic and he is in his mid 50s. He's been drinking way back when I wasn't even born. He doesn't have wife or children but he has 10 cats and he looks terrible. He is all red and he also smokes a lot so he smells badly every day. I see he is not so good lately but as you said he had a chance to be different person and I respect him I would never pity him. It is just life. One way or another. it is his life and I respect him even more for the fact he decide not to have family of his own. He didn't want to torture anyone and he knew he wouldn't change.
    gracer likes this.
  12. Vinaya

    Vinaya Community Champion

    I also have an alcoholic uncle who has remained alcoholic as long as I can remember. When he is not drunk, you will find him very amiable person, however, once alcohol gets inside,he becomes aggressive. He is married with two grown up children. He is trying to quit, however, he cannot remain clean for more than one month.
    gracer likes this.
  13. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    It's amazing the impact that long term alcohol use has on a person's appearance - like you said, he's younger than your dad but looks much older. I've known people who looked significantly older too, as a result of abusing alcohol and cigarettes too.

    It can be a trying situation, no doubt, for someone to stick by an alcoholic - I think a lot of the time broken promises really do take their toll.
    gracer likes this.
  14. RakeMind4

    RakeMind4 Active Contributor

    Yea, this is always awkward with the elderly. One of my grandfathers was an alcoholic, and the other a sober protestant, but bothe were nearly stock-stone deaf, as are many people in my remaining grandmother's retirement community. So to my reckoning, the hearing likely isn't related to alcohol, although it may appear that way. Ashame that the shouting makes an awkward relationship more uncomfortable... have you considered communication by jotting down on a notepad? When my grandfather was still alive, I noticed my parent and her siblings would often be visibly frustrated with the shouting that was often necessary. It was a puzzle to me that they never used the written language to remedy this. In a way, it's kind of what writing is there for... to communicate with people when you can't speak to them.

    It sounds to me, in your case, like the family relationships were the problem to begin, rather than the smoking. You know, it's not like smoking in itself can deteriorate real world relationships in the same way that alcohol can. The arguments about the smoking, on the other hand... that's a different class of beast. Do your parents still smoke? If it still bothers you, maybe turn them onto this "vape" crap. It's supposed to be a healthier form of nicotine addiction that doesn't turn your lungs into beef jerky.
    gracer likes this.
  15. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    Thank you for including him in your prayers. :) I also hope he can mend his relationship with his family soon before everything becomes too late for them. Sometimes it's also a painful thing to not be able to settle things with the people we love before fate decides to take life away from us. Alcohol and other forms of addiction can really make a big negative impact on one's life, especially when it comes to relationships.
  16. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    That's quite sad. But yes, although we pity him for his situation now, it was him who did it to himself anyway. He could have had the chance to change his life for the better only if he were able to realize his mistakes sooner. Well, it is still never too late for him though.
    gracer likes this.
  17. bleblanc10

    bleblanc10 Senior Contributor

    Having a family member that is an alcoholic is very tough. I am sorry you are in this situation but try and remember it is never too late for him to get help.
    gracer likes this.
  18. Elendil

    Elendil Active Contributor

    It is very very sad. It is one of the prime examples of how alcohol can destroy everything, your family, your relationships, your finances, and lastly, your own self. People first drink to forget things they don't want to remember, then they suddenly find out that they have forgotten everything else too, and have hurt people they cared about, damaging their personal relationships to irreparable levels. And then they drink some more, to drown their guilt in the depths of the bottle, slowly losing themselves until all that is left is a lifeless, soulless husk of their former selves.

    But as other people have mentioned, it is never too late to get help. By providing him with good company that he now craves, you can change him, make him see that all is not yet lost, the bottle has not yet taken over.
    gracer likes this.
  19. oportosanto

    oportosanto Community Champion

    Never, it's never too late and that's the correct way to see it. We might be fallen down, but at any given time we can get up and keep standing up and change our life.
    gracer likes this.
  20. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    You have a good point there. It really feels awkward to be shouting at someone especially when he/she is older than you. Writing can indeed help in communicating with someone who has difficulty in hearing and it even removes the feeling of discomfort for someone who's not really used to shouting at someone.