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My beautiful son

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Momofajs, Dec 22, 2019.

  1. Momofajs

    Momofajs Member

    Two weeks ago I lost my beautiful, talented, intelligent 21 year old son to addiction. I am heartbroken and wracked with grief and despair. My entire world has revolved around my children since the moment they were born.
    Two years ago he went away to college and lost his way. Or, as I see it, was led the wrong way. My hopes and dreams for him slowly were stolen by a girl and meth.
    She isolated him and warped his reality. I don’t hold her 100% responsible, but she took the beautiful reality of his life and twisted it around. He had a huge loving family, many great friends, interests and passions.
    We got him the best care possible, kept a close eye on him, thought we had put an end to that toxic relationship and loved and encouraged him.
    Two weeks ago to this day I walked into his bedroom to find him on his bed, freezing cold, foam around his mouth, fingernails blue and skin white. I knew I had lost my beautiful boy. I will never forget that moment. I had said goodnight and that I loved him at midnight. I was online ordering Christmas presents for him as he lay cold and dead in his bedroom that morning.
    I hope my story will reach someone who it can help. If you are a parent ask questions, don’t leave them alone. If you are an addict don’t make your mothers go through this agonizing pain.
  2. DoxyMom

    DoxyMom Community Champion

    @Momofajs my heart is breaking for you. To lose a child any time is hard but somehow the holidays make it harder. I know as a Mom myself, you may be feeling some guilt here. Please don't! Your son had a disease that gripped him and would not let go. Thank you for sharing your message and may it save just one addicts life. Please be kind to yourself. Wrap yourself in the good memories you have of him. This will help to keep him alive in your heart. He is still with you.
  3. Momofajs

    Momofajs Member

    Thank you!
  4. Momofajs

    Momofajs Member

    Just to add a little more to my story,
    Two weeks prior to losing my son we lost my father. My son and my father were very close. I find some comfort believing that they are together and his grandpa is is still taking care of him.
    DoxyMom and True concern like this.
  5. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    @Momofajs I am so incredibly sorry to hear about your loss,I'm struggling to find the correct word's to say to supply some kind of comfort and peace during this heartbreaking time,but I think you have found some comfort in knowing your son is walking side by side with his grandfather and in my heart I believe there is truth to this,they were close and their relationship remains that way even as I type.Try to imagine the beauty,love,happiness they both feel going through this new journey together.This tragic event really has me torn so I cannot even begin to understand what you are feeling but just know they are both always with you,perhaps in something you see,or something that brought them happiness for the rest of your day's as you see these subtle thing's you will know they are there saying "We love you"As you share the story of his life his memory grows,touching many many lives in a very special way,share his beauty through memories and remember the funny thing's about him as well as I'm sure even in death he will be looking to make you laugh and smile.God be with you this holiday season and even after,I'm truly sorry for your loss but I appreciate you sharing his life and memory with us.Stay Strong and know the people here are pure love and we all care for you.We love you and pray good memories carry you through this hardest of time's
    DoxyMom and Momofajs like this.