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My bestfriend being addicted to drinking

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Friend' started by Kyler, Mar 3, 2016.

  1. Kyler

    Kyler Active Contributor

    Hello guys,

    I am in college and I have a bestfriend who is literally addicted to drinking, I always try and help him to quit but because of the stress that college is causing, it is quite hard for him to quit he says. He says that being drunk sometimes helps him forget and get through the stress. I think he also lost his girlfried a few years ago, I think that might be a factor.

    I might need some help and advice as what should I tell him or how do I help him? I've tried talking with him a lot, I've tried affecting him somehow or keeping him away from bad influence, what else can I do?
  2. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    The best you can do is to continue encouraging your friend to stop drinking. Most obviously his addiction has in some way affected his life, try to get him to see that because maybe this might be what will prompt him to stop drinking. He'll most likely need support so even if he doesn't want to stop drinking get him to attend just one AA meeting.
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2016
    Kyler and deanokat like this.
  3. Kyler

    Kyler Active Contributor

    That's actually a very good idea, getting him to attend a meeting could be very beneficial for him. I mean, it is after all my friend and not my life, but I do care about him because he does seem like a guy who struggled and probably needs some peace in his life. I will continue to encourage him, eventually he'll get through I believe. Thank you.
  4. SashaS

    SashaS Community Champion

    Encouragement is something you can try if you haven't yet, but that can only go so far. Try getting him interested in going out or taking part in some sort of activity, such as camping on the weekend, without any access to alcohol. That may sober him up and help him at least to some extent.

    Tell him that he still has a long life ahead of him and he cannot live in sadness forever. Let him know that there are people who have been through worse than him that could still recover and carry on living life to the fullest. Support group meetings can help too. If you have access to where he gets alcohol, you could try take that away, as a last resort measure.
  5. achexx84

    achexx84 Active Contributor

    Its truly a struggle, because part of you wants to help, but part of you may eventually become super frustrated. I just recently had to disconnect with a very good friend and her boyfriend because of his drinking. He would call, ask for advice, but when you talk to him about things and how badly alcohol is affecting his life and friendships, he becomes irrational and angry. He's verbally and sometimes physically abusive to his girlfriend, and we have told her that she needs to get out of that environment before it gets worse, but she cannot let him go. From past personal experience, you sometimes have to hit rock bottom, lost it all and then some before realizing the damage that it causes. I lost some good friends because of my habit. I lost A LOT of money, and a lot of personal value. Be supportive, but don't be an enabler. Enabling him to continue on that path is only going to complicate things more. Going to meetings with him would be a big help. He needs to see that there's support, but don't let him take your kindness for a weakness. Good luck, and I hope he gets the help he truly deserves.
    MrsJones likes this.
  6. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    I feel sorry for your friend; there is too much pressure on him and he is struggling to cope. I want to advice when you are both in a room together, try playing some relaxing meditative music to help him ease off the pain. He needs to meditate more and breathe to figure out how to handle his challenges.

    Continue to stand by him with words of encouragement and advice and I'm sure he will quit drinking.
  7. LoveEcho

    LoveEcho Community Champion

    Really, all you can do is encourage him to change. Show him the negative effects it's having on him and his life. That's all you can really do because he is an adult and the end of the day he has to make his own desicions. I know, it's rough sometimes and it can be scary watching a good friend become addicted to somethind.
    deanokat likes this.
  8. Momma9

    Momma9 Community Champion

    It is so frustrating to watch someone you care about suffer with an addiction! I also think inviting him to an AA meeting would be a great idea. We also have a Sunday school class at our church similar to AA; maybe your area has something similar. It will have to be him who makes the decision that he has a problem and needs to stop drinking. All you can do is to continue to be supportive and let him know you care. You sound like an awesome friend :)
  9. remnant

    remnant Community Champion

    Being in college, your best friend should have an idea or two about addiction. From this premise, it is my considered opinion that he has consciously made the decision to drink. Pulling him from the brink will require both tact and a hefty dose of persistence. I would advise you to covertly invite a recovering addict without his knowledge for a discussion on the dangers of alcohol dependency.
  10. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    Hi @Kyler. Thank you for sharing with us your concern for your friend.

    College can be very stressful, is your friend doing well with his studies? This could be another approach for you when addressing your concerns about his drinking. If he is drinking heavily now it could carry into his life after he graduates. He needs to learn to deal with it now.

    Keep encouraging him though and I agree that if he is willing to go to an AA meeting be there to support him and it will help you to understand how to help him on his journey to recovery.

    Keep in touch with us on how things are going.
  11. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    All you can do is talk to him and express you concerns but if he doesn't think he has a problem then chances are that he is not going to be willing to make any changes. Never give up on him though because there is always hope. Be there to support him and encourage him in anyway you can.
    deanokat likes this.