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My boyfriend is drug and alcohol free

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by kjonesm1, Apr 7, 2015.

  1. kjonesm1

    kjonesm1 Community Champion

    My ex husband was a raging, non functioning alcoholic. He couldn't work or take care of our children. He was abusive and completely unstable. I have gone from one extreme to the complete opposite. My current boyfriend has never had a drink or any sort of drug in his entire life. He hasn't even smoked a cigarette. I have never been with somebody like this, I myself have done an incredible amount of experimentation and only quit smoking marijuana last year. He is totally against all drugs and doesn't necessarily like when I drink even though I do it very rarely. I love his clean life, but wonder if this will work. Does anybody have a similar experience or any advice?
    Clairelouise84 likes this.
  2. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    I think only you can know that. A lot depends on how long you've already been together, does he know all about your past as being honest about it will count for a lot as well don't forget.

    And they do say that opposites attract so I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about it, if its working then just enjoy it.
    kjonesm1 likes this.
  3. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    My advice to you is to open your eyes and see what God has done for you. He has blessed you with someone you never thought you could ever meet and live with and who has our best interests at heart. What more could you ask for? Seize this chance and make a complete turn around in your life for the sake of your children and yourself.
    kjonesm1 likes this.
  4. kjonesm1

    kjonesm1 Community Champion

    Are truly opposites and that's for sure. We have been living together for almost a year and our differences occasionally get in the way but for the most part we love each other and get along. I'm a super laid back person while he is more intense. It amazes me how do far our differences are so extreme.
  5. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    Sometimes it can be too easy though to fall into the trap of over analyzing things like I said. Instead of wondering why and if a relationship can or should work, thinking about the future and where your going.

    When you start to do that, that's when a normal relationship, a happy relationship tends to maybe fall apart. You need to focus on the things you have in common and why the relationship as lasted this long instead or worrying about your differences.

    Is he concerned about the sifference in attitudes between you both or is it just you?
  6. TommyVercetti

    TommyVercetti Community Champion

    Why wouldn't it work? As long as you're both on the same page, everything can be discussed, compromised, etc. You may be a little apprehensive that your lifestyle isn't as clean as his, but if you want to change, you not only have the power, you have the BEST environment to do it, free from triggers and temptations.
  7. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    Rather than wonder and overthink whether your relationship with the man you're currently with will work, it's better to do your part as a girlfriend, meet him half-way and ensure that you will continue to be together for as long as possible. You can coax him into agreeing whenever there's an occasion to drink but you have to also be on your best behavior so that he knows you're being responsible.
  8. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    Let him be a good example. He must be focused and a hardworking person. If you can copy that, then you will never annoy him. He must be having a good reason why he does not take drugs and try to find that out.
  9. kjonesm1

    kjonesm1 Community Champion

    From what I understand his father was a heavy drinker and many of his friends have been in and out of jail because of drug use and things they have done to obtain drugs. He has learned from his environment what NOT to do. I think it's pretty cool that he has never let curiosity or peer pressure get the best of him.
  10. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    I say enjoy what you have found and embrace the good things of the relationship. You said you love each other and from where I sit that's the most essential ingredient in a relationship. Please don't look for problems that don't exist. Build on what you have.
  11. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    Wow, you must be really happy since he's all clean and sober. Nowadays, there's just really a slim chance you'll ever meet someone like him in this world. I don't see any reason why it will not work. I think he's really the one for you, he's worth-keeping, seriously. Best of luck with your relationship! :)
  12. Clairelouise84

    Clairelouise84 Senior Contributor

    Wow, he has done incredibly well to get through everything like he has and I am very inspired and hope he carries on like he is. I have never experienced anything like it myself but you do have to realise that although you may not find it hard to moderate, he might and he might still be going through a lot so try to have patience and continue your appreciation
    kjonesm1 likes this.
  13. lgdg090596

    lgdg090596 Senior Contributor

    Happy to know that! Just keep on supporting him. :D
  14. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    Of course it will work! Just respect and do what he wants you to do, eventhough you might think that he is going overboard already. Ultimately, it is for your own good anyway. If you must drink, do it sparingly and behind his back to avoid rocking the boat.
  15. kjonesm1

    kjonesm1 Community Champion

    I don't want to do anything behind his back. I drink responsibly and want him to know that even though I drink, I do so in moderation. We are going to Cancun next week and I already let him know I plan on OVER indulging a bit. I will not be deceitful and feel like if I fake who I am we will both be wasting our time.
  16. Gelsemium

    Gelsemium Community Champion

    A relationship is based on trust and deceiving is not the way to go. Sure going to Cancun is something I am envying you right now, but don't forget the long run and keep clean!
  17. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    If he is ok and won't throw a fit when he sees you drinking, then I don't think you should go behind his back. I just thought that there would be a war when he sees you drinking, since he clearly isn't in favor of it.
    kjonesm1 likes this.
  18. kjonesm1

    kjonesm1 Community Champion

    He's only seen me tipsy once and I could tell he didn't necessarily like it, but we didn't fight about it. His major concern is drugs. I'm pretty sure that if I lit a joint in front of Jim we would break up.
  19. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    I thought that he was controlling, at least he lets you drink once in a while. I hope your vacation would go very smoothly and he won't restrain you that much.
    kjonesm1 likes this.
  20. kjonesm1

    kjonesm1 Community Champion

    Thanks a bunch! We are excited, and no he's not controlling, just doesn't want to hang out with a drunk. I get it and won't get too crazy lol.