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My boyfriend On a heroin binge after being clean for 15 months

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by Confused and desperate, Nov 1, 2017.

  1. He was in prison for 15 months and was so ready to start his new life was going to stay clean he hated drugs. About 2 weeks of his release he relapsed I did not know it until about 6 weeks later when he did not show up at home for the weekend. He knew what all he had to lose if he did not stay clean walking his daughter down the aisle next mpnth his family again And possibly me and my . We gave him everything he needed to start in a Life that he So desperately wanted. I asked him why and he said because it had been a long time and he could I told him to find a meeting for both of us that night Or he needed to leave he told me there was a meeting at 8 o'clock and was going to go do some work for little while. Well that was 3 weeks ago He did text me that weekend letting me know when he sobered up he would be home That he was not very good spiritually and didn't know what to do and was scared And said I do love you. We have had so many talks about what he would do if he got the urge you would either call me or call his sponsor none of that happened I went looking for Him last weekend I found I am in a parking lot He had just made a purchase and was in the middle of shooting up. He did come over and tell me to meet him somewhere that he promised he would meet me to talk I didn't understand where he with saying so he said hold on let me finish what I was in the middle of and you can follow me I sat they're probly for 10 Minutes thinking OMG hes gonna leave me sitting here why he does his dough that's more important. I see him start his truck And he motion for me to follow himA couple of cars got between us and the Sun was right in my eyes so he turned and I went straits and lost youI figured out where he told me to meet him and by the time I got there he was not there or maybe he never even went there. People say I should just leave him alone when hes done with his Benj He will show up
    I Want to go look for him again and just try to talk to him but the area is not real Safe and I know he is not in his right Mind. I just don't know what I should do
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Confused and desperate... I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through with your boyfriend. Loving someone who struggles with addiction is an incredible challenge. Just remember what Nar-Anon and Al-Anon teach us about a loved one's addiction: You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. Your boyfriend is the only one who can take the steps necessary to change. He has to want it more than you want it for him. If I were you, I would focus on taking good care of yourself. Self-care is absolutely essential when you're in a situation like yours. You cannot allow yourself to become addicted to your boyfriend's addiction. If you do, you will both suffer greatly. Please concentrate on the one person you can control: You. Because your life matters, too. I am sending you lots of love, light, and hope.
  3. Ailed

    Ailed Member

    Don’t look for him don’t let him back in your home sounds like you’ve done just about everything you could do , and I if you keep letting him back-and-forth nothings going to change, take it from an expert ! He apparently hasn’t lost enough .