An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the DrugAbuse.com Forums?Join or

My brother is addicted to cocaine please help!

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by pacino99, Oct 23, 2018.

  1. pacino99

    pacino99 Member

    My 26-year-old brother is addicted to cocaine. My mother and father are not strong enough to deal with his addiction. He does not want to get help. He is manipulating my mother. His daughter is 6 years old, he does not care for her. He has left himself in debt because of his addiction. It is only a matter of time until he dies. Please offer any advice. I am 19 years old and willing to help his condition anyway possible. THANKS.
  2. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @pacino99

    Hello there and thank you for reaching out. I'm sorry that your brother is addicted to cocaine. I know it's probably tough for you to see him continue to live this lifestyle and it be so tough on your parents. Loving an addict can be incredibly challenging. It's no surprise that he doesn't want to get help and he is manipulating and not taking responsibility for his life.

    Does he live with your parents? Just curious. Unfortunately, there's not a lot you can do for him. Al-Anon teaches that you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it... No one can except him. Many times and active addict will not seriously reach out for help unless they have strong negative consequences. Till they hit the rock bottom. It may be helpful for you and your parents to seek therapy or attend a support group like Nar-anon.

    Have you sat and had a real heart to heart? Let him know that you're genuinely concerned? Of course you can encourage him to seek professional help, but unless he's ready he just won't. I've learned to simply love the addict unconditionally, where they're at.... but also learn to set firm boundaries. Do not enable the addict, by giving them money or a free place to live and so on.

    I hope this helps. If you have any other questions, know that we're here to support you however we can.
    True concern likes this.
  3. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Welcome to the community, @pacino99. Although I'm sorry to hear about your brother's cocaine addiction, I'm happy that you care enough to come here and seek advice. You are a great brother, for sure.

    @Dominica has given you some excellent advice already. I think sitting down with your brother and being completely honest with him would be a good thing. If you talk to him, be sure to talk to him with love and empathy...not confrontation and anger. If you get confrontational and angry, it will likely just drive him further away and make him NOT want to get help.

    You could share with him the information for support group meetings like Narcotics Anonymous (NA) and Cocaine Anonymous (CA). Those meetings would be a good place for him to start. Here are those links:

    NA: https://www.na.org

    CA: https://ca.org

    I would also suggest that you and your family look into going to Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meetings yourselves. Those meetings are for loved ones of people struggling with addiction. You can find those meetings at these links:

    Nar-Anon: https://www.nar-anon.org

    Al-Anon: https://al-anon.org

    We are here for you anytime you need help, support, or just someone to listen. Please don't hesitate to lean on us whenever you'd like, okay? In the meantime, I'm sending lots of positive energy your way. And I will keep your brother in my thoughts and prayers.
    True concern and Dominica like this.
  4. Jai50

    Jai50 Senior Contributor

    Im kind of in the same situation as you with my friend she has 3 young kids and is addicted to heroin. She has gone into rehab 3 times in one year.
    So she does know where to get the help she needs to get clean.
    I've been reaching out to her telling her I will be there for her but the only time she calls me is when she needs something. This is frustrating.
    Try to make him understand that you know how hard it's going to be for him to let go of this addiction and how life would be so much easier without having drugs in his life. Tell him that you're willing to go with him to NA meetings let him listen to other people's stories about addiction May help him realize that this is not the road he wants to go down.
    Don't disconnect yourself from him always support and be there for him But don't let him take advantage of your feelings. It's Tricky but I know you can do it. That's my advice
    deanokat likes this.