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My Brother

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Child' started by 6up, Aug 13, 2015.

  1. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    My brother takes alcohol. He has been supportive since I joined college. He pays for my college fees and also pays for my bills. How can I convince him to stop taking alcohol?
  2. sksmith094

    sksmith094 Member

    Drinking alcohol isn't in itself always a bad thing, it's when someone is addicted to it that it can turn ugly. I myself have a glass of wine at least once per week, and have limited myself to one beer a night. It tastes good and isn't hurting anything so why not?

    Is your brother being dangerous? Is he driving drunk? Is he getting belligerent every night? Then you would have a problem on your hands but just simply drinking by itself isn't always something you need to stop!
    MrsJones and deanokat like this.
  3. juno

    juno Community Champion

    It depends on your brothers situation. If you feel that he is addicted, then you should be honest and tell him so. If you feel like you will loose his support for your college education by talking to him, you may also want to consider that if he keeps up the drinking he may not be able to continue to work and earn the way he has been to help you out. So, for the long run it is in everybody's best interest to address the problem.
  4. MyDigitalpoint

    MyDigitalpoint Community Champion

    Based on your own words @6up, I don't know to what extent your brother could be addicted to alcohol.

    Sometimes people drink regularly but have set themselves a limit they don't trespass, some other not even release they are drinking in excess.

    Even though you say your brother is supportive with you, what means he is conscious of his duty being your big brother, right?

    Moreover, he pays your college and your bills, what means alcohol is not taking a bite on his budget that prevents him from doing this, nor is unemployed.

    I would say either share why you think he must stop drinking, or talk to him to learn more about why he drinks and what this means to him.

    If you think some of his pattern of conduct are clear sign that alcoholism is being a problem in his life, tell him how much you love him and how much you want him stopping for his own health, but what if you are wrong in your perception and his simply a social drinker?
  5. light

    light Active Contributor

    Your brother seems to be a very responsible man and loves you a lot as he is paying your collage fees and your bills. Maybe your brother isn’t an alcohol addict but is drinking within limits. If you feel and know that your brother is getting drunk very often, then you must talk with him. I am sure you love your brother and maybe he is passing difficult moments in his life and you must support him. So it would be a good idea to ask him to talk as brothers and find solutions together.
  6. Mzpeaceful1

    Mzpeaceful1 Active Contributor

    An alcoholic has to come to terms with his own disease on his own. That is the tough part about most addictions. If he is not hurting himself or anyone else, there is not much other people can do or really should do. The only time an intervention situation is deemed appropriate is when things are really out of control otherwise people really need to figure this stuff out for themselves.
    MrsJones likes this.
  7. singingintherain

    singingintherain Community Champion

    As others have asked, is there something about the way he is drinking that makes you think he might have a problem with alcohol? If he is keeping to at, or below, the recommended maximum daily intake he should not experience negative consequences from his drinking. It might just be that it's a behavior you don't both agree on.

    If he is drinking in an out-of-control manner, or his drinking is causing him/you to experience negative consequences then it might be something you want to help him with.
  8. sonia11

    sonia11 Senior Contributor

    How do you know your brother is addicted? Drinking in and of itself isn't really a bad thing. If he's drinking so much he's losing friends, jobs, and can't function, that's a problem. If he's drinking to the point where he doesn't remember things he did the next day, that would also be a problem. But at present we don't really have enough info.
  9. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    6up, you said you brother takes alcohol and that on its own is not such a terrible thing. The question has to be if he's overindulging which we have to assume might be the case here. If he is, you should tell him about your concerns and see where that goes.
  10. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    I think you should leave him alone, he sounds like a functional adult to me, so unless he is some sort of binge drinker or alcoholic I don't see a problem with this. If someone drinks alcohol responsibly, more as a casual thing with friends just to pass the time, then i don't think you should interfere at all.