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my crack story.

Discussion in 'Cocaine' started by fixxxer2019, Jun 15, 2019.

  1. fixxxer2019

    fixxxer2019 Member

    I'll do my best to update as I can. thanks for the encouragement.
    deanokat and Joshstillclean like this.
  2. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @fixxxer2019 that's wonderful! congrats on your clean time of 1 month! very proud of you!

    keep doing what you're doing.... and enjoy life. :)
    deanokat likes this.
  3. fixxxer2019

    fixxxer2019 Member

    Soo tomorrow is 30 days clean and sober. it feels good. although I'm still occasionally depressed and sad. normal every day tasks still seem weird to me. I've accepted the fact I'll never be able to go back to the normal life I had before drugs. it'll be a new normal. I'm just taking things one day at a time.
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  4. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    I know how you feel. So happy for you. Truely. But like I said I do know what you mean about not being able to go back to life without drugs like you were before.
    You can never "unfeel" the way it is to be high. However it can be a new way of living where you appreciate NOT having to deal with the horrors that dope brings with them..
    (this is how i look at it. i stuggled a very long time with the " will i ever feel the same again") And no, I won't ever feel the same again, I went through something traumtic. Something that nearly killed me. So I realized that even though I have to live with the knowledge that there is this feeling, this "high" out there that I can purchase and experience, I cannot have that feeling and must find a way to be ok with that.

    Here's what I found, with that knowledge-yes i know it feels great to get stoned, or slammed, or whatever you like to do. But we all know what comes with it, and what else it costs us more than the money we pay for it.
    So everytime i wanted/want to get high i remind myself of the bad times, what all it has cost me, how i have hurt my family.
    I even have sticky notes written and placed in strategic places around my house so i cant use the bathroom or walk out of the house without being reminded of the blessing i have to be given a second chance.
    Anyway, mabey that would be something you'd like to do I don't know, but there's a little peek at my private life. I stuggle and those things help me...
    Dominica likes this.
  5. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

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  6. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @fixxxer2019 congrats to you! that's pretty awesome!

    a new normal could turn out to be a good thing. let's not rule that out. but yeah, takes time... and i think it's normal to have occasional sad or boring days... for everyone. not everyone lives the life they are portraying on social media lol rough days do come.... but they also can pass and there are tools to help us through.

    thank you for the update!!

    i hope you have a great week!
    deanokat and Joshstillclean like this.
  7. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Happy 30 days, @fixxxer2019!!! What a wonderful accomplishment!! Here's to another day clean and sober! One day at a time!!!

    Happy Monday! Hope your week is AWESOME!!! :)
    Joshstillclean likes this.
  8. fixxxer2019

    fixxxer2019 Member

    this Wednesday marks my 60 days clean. I'm currently experiencing a host of withdrawal symptoms. mostly depression, anxiety, lack of appetite and sleep. also palpitations and faster heart rate. my doctor says it's called PAWS or post accute withdrawal syndrome. I'm currently trying a host of different meds for depression. other than that I don't think much about the drug anymore. I'm just hoping these symptoms subside soon.
  9. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    This is fantastic, @fixxxer2019! Congrats on (almost) 60 days of clean time! I'm sorry you're struggling with withdrawal symptoms, but they will dissipate in time. I also hope you can find the right med or combination of meds for your depression. That will make a huge difference.

    Keep doing the next right thing, my friend! So proud of you!!!
  10. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    I'm pretty much in the same boat here, beware those anti depression meds sometimes they make depression worse,this recently happened to me and I will say just pay close attention my friend
  11. Onceaddicted77

    Onceaddicted77 Spam fighting Moderator & Realist Community Listener

    Congrats on 61 days man so awesome!
  12. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

  13. Joshstillclean

    Joshstillclean Stupidity Exists - Fact.

    You have done the hardest part already. I have faith in you through this.
    Your doing awsome.1
    deanokat likes this.
  14. peachydust

    peachydust Active Contributor

    Congrats on getting clean! That’s so awesome!