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My dear son

Discussion in 'Marijuana' started by regicide3342, Apr 18, 2015.

  1. regicide3342

    regicide3342 Member

    Hello!

    I became suspicious a few weeks ago after cleaning up my son's room; I could be that the smell came from marijuana. Should I comfort my child about it or just let it be..? Is it just him growing up? I don't know what to do and I am shattered if my 15-year-old sweetheart uses drugs. What should I do, please help!

    A caring mother
  2. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    I certainly think it's your right to question your son about if he uses drugs or not, I would though be very careful by using the word 'challenge'

    I think having a talk and asking him honestly, and then taking time to listen to him and if he has any reasons to take it might be the more productive way of handling it.

    Going in all guns blazing will just push him further away, if he feels the two of you can have a sensible conversation, then I think your both more likely to benefit more.
  3. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I think it's better to just keep the lines of communication open so he can have someone he can trust to talk to about these things. Ultimately you can just try and understand that at this point he will mostly be doing a lot of experimentation not only with substances but everything else that comes with being an adult and if you are able to guide him through all the confusion then it would be a much smoother ride for him overall.
  4. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    I would start a friendly, general conversation with your son, asking him how he feels about drugs. As his mother you will probably immediately know what is going on by simply observing his reaction. Remember that threats have never helped anyone, so a direct confrontation about his possible experimentation with marijuana might backfire. Trying to create an openness between the two of you might just be the key to dealing with the current circumstances.
  5. pineywood

    pineywood Community Champion

    Well, quite honestly, I can relate to your reaction. Do you or don't you "confront" him. Will it or won't it close the door to communication. Here's the thing, if you can not talk to him now, what makes you think you can talk to him later?

    One of the most important talks with our children not only involves the consequences and affects of drugs on our health and well-being, but you better make sure he understand the legal ramifications of his actions. It may be "fun" to experiment, but it is not "fun" to deal with the consequences.

    I sincerely wish you good luck!
  6. Faithfulmarie

    Faithfulmarie Member

    I believe it is never too late for an intervention. I agree with pineywood, who emphasizes the legal aspect. Hopefully, your son has just begun to experiment with the drug. Take him for a drive, and talk it through with him, without being confrontational. Remember at this age teenagers listen more to their peers than to their parents. I would suggest that you talk to a professional who would be able to advise as to the way that you can reach him.
  7. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    Like what's already been said, at that age I think your son, everybody's children even, are bound to go through that stage of experimentation, so while I'm not saying its harmless, I am saying it's probably pretty normal behaviour for a 15 year old.
  8. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    Honesty is the best policy. Go and talk to your child about it. I don't know what the problem here is. Is it your child using, or you not having the parenting skills needed to intervene.
  9. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    Having an open and understanding mind is very crucial at this point. You should be able to let your son feel that you're not there to smite him or judge him in any way. Show him that you are still the caring and loving mother he used to play with when he was still an innocent child. If you approach him in a calm and assuring manner, he will likely open up to you. If he tries to avoid any talk between the two of you, show him that you're not there to preach on him but as a friend who's willing to listen. Like what the others are saying, it's better to start now while he still has a big chance to quit. This is the time when he badly needs your guidance. Best of luck to you! :)
  10. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    I think coming on the forum for advice is a good idea to be honest before you go jumping in and possibly making things worse. I'm sure there will be people on here that have been in the same situation as you that could offer some advice.
  11. henry

    henry Community Champion

    I agree with most of the posts. I think you should sit down with him and talk about it. Ignoring it would be of not help at all.
  12. samanthasays

    samanthasays Member

    I definitely think you need to sit down and have an honest and open conversation with you son. 15 is old enough for him to understand why he's making the choices he's making. Teenage years can be rough and he's probably using it cope with something difficult or to fit in. I would calmly sit down with him and talk about his life and how he is doing.
  13. adfnio

    adfnio Community Champion

    You are the parent, you set the rules, you go talk to him. There is no sugar coating this. Your house, your rules.
    Matthodge1 likes this.
  14. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    If you ignore the problem, there will be weird tension and it will make everything terrible at your house. Go sit and talk to him.
  15. Matthodge1

    Matthodge1 Community Champion

    This perfectly sums it up. Just go have a conversation with him.
  16. JadeVengeance

    JadeVengeance Active Contributor

    You should maybe try to bring it up in a conversation. Maybe hint at weed and it he does not get it and talk to you, bring the big guns out and just say it to him straight.
  17. rightct

    rightct Community Champion

    You definitely need to have a talk with him, but you must not put pressure on him. Gently imply that what he's doing is simply wrong and he would come off better if he simply quit it. But not in any way try to force him quit; things will just become worse. I can almost surely guarantee you he'll not obey, and take marijuana even more than before. Unfortunately, this is how the human mind works.
  18. westmixxin

    westmixxin Active Contributor

    These around that age you should expect things started going to high school. No kid is safe from marijuana is just something that's much too widespread. thinking that your child will never try any of these drugs is a bad idea. If it's you in a position to not be there for them when they need you.
  19. Domen

    Domen Active Contributor

    If I was you, I would converse with him about this. I wouldn't want to come across as preachy since teens go through phases and you want to get through to them and try to explain them what effects marijuana has on your personality and your body. I would try to speak to him more than a friend who cares rather than a parent. I think this way I would have more chance of achieving success.
  20. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    Regicide3342, I would encourage you to simply have a conversation with your son and ask him what's he's up to. That you even noticed might be something that impresses him. I've had young people tell me that they parents don't notice when they make missteps and that is disconcerting. Stop guessing and and over thinking and get to the "heart" of the matter in the most pleasing way.