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My Experience With Cocaine

Discussion in 'Cocaine' started by Miles Hansen, Dec 7, 2014.

  1. Miles Hansen

    Miles Hansen Member

    My name is Miles. I'm only 18, but I've unfortunately had a bit of a run-in with cocaine several times in my life. When people ask me how it was I have to answer honestly: I've never felt better in my entire life. Never try it.
    My friends always get confused when I talk about it. I felt so powerful, so in-charge: Like I could do anything! I was depressed at the time, so it was amazing.
    But boy, when people say "The higher you fly, the harder you fall" they really aren't kidding. The 3rd time I tried it, I tried to kill myself. Stabbed myself with a kitchen knife in my arm, still have a nasty scar: SOmething I have to lie about to friends and family.
    I know to some it might seem tempting. Dangerous, exciting but in a relatively "safe" way: That's what I thought, but I can't stress enough how horrible and depressing trying it was to me when I finally came down.
  2. kima

    kima Member

    It is great that you know how much damage cocaine can cause. While using cocaine can feel exciting, that high is definitely not worth the pain. From your story, it seems that you've quit mainly due to your own willpower. That is a strong quality. Most of the time, people just succumb to addiction, which leads to despair. Since quitting, have you had the support of any of your friends or family? Are any of them aware that you are using?
  3. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I read a few articles after the death of Robin Williams because cocaine was also his substance of choice as well as alcohol. Apparently, the effects of it are much more enhanced in people who have depression, sort of like how a soda will feel much better to someone who hasn't drank anything for days while to someone who has been drinking water regularly, it may just be a good refreshment which they can easily take or leave at any point.
  4. Nate5

    Nate5 Active Contributor

    I'm really glad that you've overcome and you have the guts to share your story here. I've never had an addiction before, so I can't imagine what it feels like. However, I definitely sympathize with you, and I am really glad you are still here with us now.

    Charli brings up a point I would like to ask. It's a bit personal, but why did you try out cocaine in the first place? Charli mentioned Robin Williams, who most likely used it due to coping with depression. What about you? If you don't want to answer, that is most certainly okay.
  5. notodrugs

    notodrugs Community Listener Community Listener

    Hi Miles. Welcome to the community! Thanks for sharing your story. You're only 18 yet you carry a weight of an experience that will really give everyone a glimpse of what goes on in a junked-up mind. I hope you remember all that you've said here to keep you off it even when you're down.

    You can advise people your age not to try it. Teenagers listen more to their peers so maybe you can help those who are in trouble. This way, you're also helping yourself turn the tide to your favor.

    Keep up your sobriety! All the best to you!
  6. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    What a story! It really provided a valuable insight into the life of someone who has gone through thick and thin when using drugs. I hope you pulled through and that everything turned out fine.
  7. Miles Hansen

    Miles Hansen Member

    My family never knew about my addiction, though I suspect they had their suspicions. My mom will occasionally bring up that time, to talk about how much I've changed and such, but never more than just a couple of minutes. They wouldn't hate me, or look down on me in any way but I still won't tell them right now. I feel it's my cross to bear, but perhaps when I'm older (and wiser) I'll be able to talk about it freely.
    I have a couple of friends who know, and who has helped support me. It's all about having a strong network, in my oppionion, and my friends are the best.
    Thank you for your kind words.
    kima likes this.
  8. Miles Hansen

    Miles Hansen Member

    No, that's fine: I tried it because I was very insecure and, as you also deduced, depressed. I had a tough childhood, and I never really considered myself all that attractive, and it wore me down a lot. I hung out with some of the more iffy types at my school, and I had this punk/grunge phase where I tried to show everyone around me about how cool I was. The cocaine was rampant at the time, because we had this "rebelious rich chick" type who had lots of friends who took it. I thought I was showing everyone how "in-control" I was, but looking back I see it actually had the oppostite effect, and people felt sorry for me more than anything.
    I guess the circumstances was what lead me to it, and I never really persued it: It was just kind of there.
    Thank you for your kindness, it really does mean a lot to me.
    Nate5 likes this.
  9. valiantx

    valiantx Community Champion

    "Cocaine's a helluva drug." Quoted by Rick James, and I wanted to lighten up this post with a joke :)

    That's a crazy and traumatic story you, Miles Hansen, went through with cocaine. I have seen a few of my friends do this drug - which I have never tried and will not - and they're almost a whole different type of character during and afterwards. One time, my closest friend had a college mate who did like three lines of cheap cocaine in a hour and he started bleeding from his nose, which I had warn him and my friend that was going to happen and I'm not liable if he died - he lived, but did function well that whole night and I had to watch him because I was the least intoxicated. The hardest drug I've ever tried is MDMA, and that's already enough for me.

    Hope you stay sober, healthy, and safe Miles. Thanks for sharing your story.
  10. kima

    kima Member

    There's no rush in telling your family if you don't feel ready yet. They will understand when you decide to talk to them. I agree that the best way to keep moving forward positively is to have a strong network of support. It's good to know that you've had friends support you. They truly are the best if they stick with you through thick and thin. They understand you without any judgment or harsh criticism. They've helped you, and maybe one day, you'll end up returning the favor by helping others as well!
  11. Nate5

    Nate5 Active Contributor

    Thank you very much for answering. It must've taken quite a lot of guts. I don't know if you still feel this way, but I'm sure you look fine, and try not to care how people judge you. Most of us are just here for ourselves. If you think about how much time you spend thinking of other people, then you can probably deduce how much time those people spend thinking about you.
  12. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    Hello Miles and thanks a lot for sharing your story. Humans as we all are, it's natural to experience pain, insecurities and all other negative emotions. Drugs tend to provide a temporary escape from internal and external problems, so I understand where you're coming from since people have different ways of coping. I'm glad that you didn't let it get the better of you. Always remember to think positive and keep moving forward!
  13. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Yeah, I've heard some stories like this. People hurting themselves accidentally or whatever. Can suffer some serious damage. It's not worth it.
  14. Damien Lee

    Damien Lee Community Champion

    Thank you for sharing, it always good learning from other people's experiences. A friend of mine who also tried cocaine pretty much mirrors what you say about feeling so powerful, and beyond the scope of normal human existence. But the comedown can be nasty as you come face-to-face with your ordinary reality.