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My Friend Is An Addict But Richer Than Me

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Friend' started by 6up, May 7, 2015.

  1. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    I have a friend who owns a lot of businesses. He used to drink since we were in college but now he drinks heavily. I tried to advice him on how to stop his habit but he compared his success with mine and said that I was not in a better position than him even though he drinks. How can I help him?
  2. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Even he is richer than you, most probably you have a clearer mind and healthier body than him. If he continue to drink heavily, he will got really sick and even all his riches cannot save him anymore if it is late already. Better to remind him the simply line which is health is wealth. :)
  3. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    I think your 'friend' hit you with a low blow @6up and he is heading for a big fall if he continues to 'compare' his life to others this way. Pride cometh before the fall.

    It is good that you want to help him though that is being a true friend though I wonder how he would react if you came to him that way.
  4. TripleD123

    TripleD123 Community Champion

    It sounds like your friend tried to use a sore spot to get you to be quiet about his issue. It sounds to me like he is well aware of his drinking problem and is insecure about it. With you bringing it to light it made him try and sucker punch you where it counts to get you to leave him alone. I would just let him know you are there for him if he ever needs your help but also know that you can't change him. Good luck, man.
  5. GenevB

    GenevB Community Champion

    Well, have you thought that maybe he doesn't have a problem at all? Since he is in a good position and things appears to be so good, maybe you're just subconsciously jealous of his success and want to take something away from him. Does anyone else consider him drinking to be a problem?
  6. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    What's important is well being because money won't buy you health. Trust me, I know from family that money isn't going to solve anything and if there's anything that gives you peace it's not money, far far far away from money.
  7. DancingLady

    DancingLady Community Champion

    Money does not prevent addiction. It sounds like he is in denial at this point. All you can do is point out how it's affecting him, his health, relationships. If he is still functional he may not be willing to consider the fact that drinking has become a problem.
  8. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    I agree with you. Money has become a problem and most people don't even recognize the system of money is a failure and it's made by humans and it is going to fail sooner or later.
  9. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    Woah, OP, that was kinda rude of him, but I'm glad you didn't take it personally. Actually trying to reason with an alcoholic is like trying to reason with a brick wall; doesn't work at all most of the time. Sadly from the sound of that last talk you had with him... he doesn't sound like someone who wants help, or at least realizes he has a problem and needs to stop.

    Addictions and people who suffer them are easy to predict: when an addict doesn't want to quit, no matter what you say or do he or she jut won't do it until they feel it's time to do it. Most of the time that happens once they hit rock bottom.
  10. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    I have seen many fall from riches to rags and it still amuses me when people seek to define themselves with by their riches. There are many financial rich people who are poor in so many other areas. 6up please don't let what he possesses or his indifference to affect you in any negative.

    There may well come a time when he needs your help and would be happy to take your advice. It happens. I commend you for trying to help him see the error of his ways and I am sure their is no jealousy on your part. You recognised he had a problem if you say he's drinking heavily, you did your part by expressing your concern. The rest is up to him.
  11. karebear07

    karebear07 Active Contributor

    It seems as if you are in a very complicated situation. Perhaps your friend feels as if you are jealous of his success and that your attentions are not to help him. Maybe if you make him gain some insight that your only trying to help than can be less critical at your advice. Let him know that his success/ wealth are not the reason why you are comforting him and you are happy for him. Rather, you do not want to see all that success go down the drain by his habits of drinking. It is actually very sad, because I have noticed that people who have access to money actually have more chances of becoming addicted as they have may access to obtain their drug/alcohol. Sorry, hope it works out for you. Maybe you can try to get other people involved to help him with the problem as well, such as other friends, family members, etc. People who know about the problem and are willing to help you help him! Best of luck.
  12. Damien Lee

    Damien Lee Community Champion

    Trust me, money does in no way mean a person knows better. Particularly for those that earn money very quickly or at a very young age, they often tend to make bad decisions. I've been around rich people that had plenty of vices, from drinking to gambling, right through to womanizing. Because of their success they have developed a huge ego, and it's often difficult to get through to them that their vices can destroy them.
  13. kylerlittle

    kylerlittle Community Champion

    Absolutely. These are wise word and I agree with you. We need not shape our society and our family and ourselves around money. Money is just an object that comes and goes.
  14. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Your friend's relative affluence is no proof that drugs bestow success on the person who abuses them. I knew a man whose parents died while he was still in his 20s leaving him everything they owned. He never did have to work a day in his life. But because he was idle most of the time, he started abusing drugs . . . because he was bored. Five years later he was dead.

    Same thing could happen to your friend @6up. Don't let his affront stop your from trying to help. Do all you can [advice, support, etc] while you can and you will never blame yourself for not doing enough.
  15. MyDigitalpoint

    MyDigitalpoint Community Champion

    Sometimes success is not the best thing happening to someone. Perhaps your friend is reflecting an inner frustration by drinking that way.

    Having drink in the past and become heavy drinker today is not evolution, but involution. Success calls for self-improvement, not for self-destruction.

    Besides having picked an addiction before success, he will have to work on his own self-esteem that actually is pondered by pointing you his success compared with yours.

    This sounds to me like something emotional beyond alcohol happening to him.
  16. light

    light Active Contributor

    Your friend has lost his feeling of importance and may be a bit low in his self-esteem, that’s why he says that he is more successful than you. Success is relative but feeling happy and complete is a great achievement. Stay close to your friend and don’t take his comments personally. You must recall those happy moments deep hidden in his heart, when you would joke together. Remind him of his victories or even invent situations where he can show his abilities, this is a good to help him.

    :)
  17. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    It took me a long time, but I've finally learned not to compare myself to others. Comparison is the thief of happiness.
    light likes this.
  18. MNyte

    MNyte Member

    Tell him like it is: you are richer than him mentally. What is the point of all this money, if you can not enjoy yourself. People drink for many reasons, such as a habit, or personal issues. Point out that, although he may have invested his time in to his buisnesses, has he actually invested in himself? You should be the better man by a mile or two.
  19. sonia11

    sonia11 Senior Contributor

    Sounds like he's using his wealth as a way to justify his drinking problem. The size of one's bank account isn't the only indicator of how well they're doing in life, however. And if he really has a problem and keeps going without getting help, he is eventually going to lose that wealth. Money can't save you if you drive drunk and kill somebody, or yourself.
  20. daosasoriza

    daosasoriza Member

    If I were you, I'd just tell him the negative effects of drinking, then leave him to it. If he wants to keep on drinking, then I'll leave him be, as long as he doesn't turn violent whenever he's drunk.