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My friend is an alcoholic

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by GenevB, Oct 23, 2014.

  1. GenevB

    GenevB Community Champion

    Mihai has been one of the closest friends of mine since I was a child. We started drinking at about 12-13 age old, a beer or two when we we’re hanging out. I kept my limit but he just couldn’t keep it. He ended up drinking about 10-15 gallons a week. Right now we are 18 and he already thinks about quitting school. Help me, how should I take him out of this? I’ve tried to talk to his parents several times before he just won’t listen to them. I’ve tried to talk with him but he keeps saying that he has only one life and he wants to drink it. I’m desperate, what more can I do?
    I feel kinda guilty because I'm the one which lead him into drinking in the first place and now it is ruining his life.
  2. Askani

    Askani Active Contributor

    It isn't your fault. You have to let that guilt go. He is an adult now and makes those kinds of choices all on his own. He has to want to stop and there isn't much other than him perhaps hitting rock bottom and being jailed or hospitalized that will "dry him out" so to speak. How is he getting this much alcohol at 18? Are you in another country where the age limit is lower to buy? You have two choices as I see it. You can distance yourself from your friend, try some tough love, and tell him while he is drinking you won't be hanging out with him. Or you can just do your best to be there for him when he does finally hit rock bottom. You can't force him to because he will just end up relapsing. I can't imagine parents not caring that their child is drinking gallons of alcohol though. That just amazes me.
  3. GenevB

    GenevB Community Champion

    Well, in my country the limit for buying alcohol is 18, but you can still get it easily if you are under as we are a poor country and everyone needs money. He is just out of control, his parents doesn't have an authority over him no more. I think I'll stick with the situation and I'll try my best to get him out of this circle. Maybe if I imply myself into drinking so much I can understand him better. What do you think?
  4. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    Unfortunately, I don't think yours or his parents' words talk as loudly as his substance of choice for now. I think it's best to approach it slowly and calmly, in a way that might make him realize enough just to limit it somewhat at first. If he hears that he has to stop then there's probably a higher chance that he would just ignore the words straight away, but if he is made to realize that he can just moderate it then the chances for getting heard are probably a bit higher.
  5. Askani

    Askani Active Contributor

    I don't think you taking up drinking more will help in the least. If anything it will get you hooked on drinking and then you will both have to go through rehab if you are lucky enough not to have an accident or be arrested. Two wrongs do not make a right.
  6. Onionman

    Onionman Active Contributor

    All you can do is give him your support. You can have the conversations with him, tell his parents, give him a helpline number, direct him to websites and so on. But unless he wants to actually take action then you'll be falling on deaf ears. I hope you can get through to him.
  7. GenevB

    GenevB Community Champion

    Well now the problem seems to be how do I make him want to stop? How can I turn his world around? I've thought that if I drink a lot I would understand what he goes through better, I've even prepared myself a strategy to get out of this in case anything bad happens and I still consider doing it.
  8. Ronsa

    Ronsa Active Contributor

    It is not your fault. Don't blame yourself too much. There is restriction for alcohol drinks under 18 in my country. It is good measure as child has little self-control themselves. It is sad that both of you get access to alcohol so early in your life. Try doing things with him that he likes besides alcohol and tells him what you think. He may not listen but it is what you can do best for your friend.
  9. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    I don't know the laws in your country so it's hard to give advice as far as legality goes. Looks like your trying to support him kicking the habit. But in this case you can't force him to quit or seek help. It looks like he has to hit rock bottom for him to realize that he has a problem. As bad as it may sound, I think he needs to get arrested for public intoxication just so he can realize that he has a drinking problem.