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My Girlfriend

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by Kyler, Feb 26, 2016.

  1. Kyler

    Kyler Active Contributor


    I want to share this with you all who struggle with addictions to know that there is hope for you without any doubt. My friend from high-school 3 to 4 years ago got addicted to smoking because of the bad influence that he was around. Our class was full of smokers and they were bullies, basically, they were trying to get me to smoke at the end of the year as well, I was the only one to not agree to it only because I'm blessed with good self-control.

    Anyway, my friend used to struggle with anxiety and stress to an unbelievable degree, it is thought that he also has OCD and goes to smoking for comfort and relief. Slowly, after a few weeks of hanging out with him, I kept talking about how smoking is bad and shown him many examples of what it does and what it's doing to him (sowing the seed into his heart), slowly it got to him and he started trying to quit and he has failed at times, but the good news is just last week he achieved 2 years without smoking.

    I wrote this to show you that if you have a friend, family or anyone at all, do not give up on them because slowly you can get them to realize what they don't realize now, hang on there.

    For those who struggle with addictions, do not lose hope at all, surround yourself with good influence because it does matter A LOT.

    I hope reading this has helped you in some way.
  2. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    This is a really inspiring story and I encourage everyone not to lose hope in an addict. Everything takes time, it is hard for people to quit something they have been using for years but it is not impossible to quit. Persistence pays and @Kyler you have reaped the reward of your persistence.
  3. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    Thank you for sharing this. I do believe that you should never give up on anybody who is struggling with any type of addiction. They need all the love and support that they can get no matter how bad the situation is. Thanks for sharing this inspiring story.
  4. monty

    monty Active Contributor

    I too agree with your story if our loved ones are addicted to alcohol or any other then we should never leave her because he just has forgotten her path and is in need of us but he can't say at that time if we leave her then she may lead to die or make her life very dark just like a hell so, we should be with her and stand beside her and support her instead to leave her in his bad times
  5. Momma9

    Momma9 Community Champion

    Thanks for sharing @Kyler. It is so easy to get discouraged when someone you care about is addicted. It is nice to hear a success story! He is fortunate to have you as a friend.
  6. amr13

    amr13 Member

    I wouldn't ever give up on someone I love but it is hard to know when to back away. A person who is addicted must want to get better and it sounds like your friend wanted to quit smoking. My sister is a manipulative person and will tell you just about anything you want to hear and then do as she pleases. I am not sure about all my sisters addictions but I know she takes adderall and smokes weed. She is also clinically bi-polar but refuses to take any treatment or receive counseling. As a result, she lies, steals, is abusive both physically and verbally, and emotionally unstable. I have been there for her over and over again, and some more. I have told her I wouldn't speak to her until she started going to therapy. She told me she booked an appointment and was going that week but these were all lies. My sister was also a teen mom and has a 16 year old daughter that suffers from her behavior. My mother and I, raised the baby when she was not around. It was not until the child was 9 years old that she lived with her mother. My sister married a man (not her biological father) that is lazy, lives off of her salary and is just as unstable. They are both DJs and spin at nightclubs frequently. In addition to this, my sister works a full time job in marketing. Her daughter is a good kid and lays low when my sister is home with her. She secretly comes to visit me some weekends and tells me horrible things about the way my sister treats her. My niece is not a typical complaining teenager. She doesn't really partake in high school parties but instead spends all her time with her boyfriend. He is the only dependable person in her everyday life. My niece has told me that she does as my sister pleases because if she doesn't she either has an emotional breakdown and threatens to kill herself or she gets angry and says cruel things to her and sometimes will hit her. I have no respect for my sister and have cut her off completely. My husband has witnessed her behavior and doesn't want her around our daughter. I wish my sister wanted to get the help she needs but I'm not sure she will ever change. I've held my ground for almost 2 years now and refuse to speak to her until she receives counseling.
    deanokat likes this.
  7. smartmom

    smartmom Senior Contributor

    This has really given me hope because I have a family member that is addicted to smoking. People say you cant get addicted to smoking weed but he sure is. I am a spiritual person so I believe in miracles. I will continue talking to him without beating him up about it over his head. He seems to know that he's addicted because he said it himself. It seems that people have different reasons for using. Maybe someone wants to fit in. Maybe someone wants to hide pain but in the long haul, the end result is the same addiction!
  8. mrsconv

    mrsconv Member

    Smoking is a hard one to kick, and I know this from personal experience. I was finally able to kick it to the curb once I found out I was pregnant. It wasn't easy, though! I used to justify my habit by telling myself and others "Well, at least it isn't a narcotic habit" and "They are my lungs, mind your own business!" but soon came to see that those urging me to kick my habit were simply concerned about my well being and the possibility of me moving on to other habits for comfort.
    In my journey to quit, I found a few different things helpful. My biggest crutch was eating sunflower seeds and hard candy. Keeping the hands and mouth busy are imperative, since the hand-to-mouth motions are a big part of the habit. Finding a distraction when the cravings hit is important too. I would go for a walk when it would get really bad.
  9. taylorann

    taylorann Member

    Wow, that is so awesome that you were able to do that. It just shows that if you really have an impact on that person's life then you can really change the ways that they are going about their life. It's so great that you were able to get them to stop, it's a very hard thing to do.
    deanokat likes this.