An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the DrugAbuse.com Forums?Join or

My Husband

Discussion in 'Methamphetamine / Meth' started by Mrsh, Oct 29, 2018.

  1. Mrsh

    Mrsh Member

    My husband has been using meth for a year I have a question my husband's grandma died today we went over his dad's house the whole family was there the whole time we was there he was in his cellphone playing game he also is addicted to playing a game on his cellphone. My question is him taking meth make him emotional disconect? Also his family doesn't know
    True concern likes this.
  2. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Yes.For 20 year's I had 2 emotions hate and anger....i got sober and cried for 3 month's straight,which probably looked odd being as I am 6'1" tall and 235lbs but you know what.It feels good to love,care,feel concern,compassion, etc.That other me was just an empty shell of none stop destruction and violence. I am proud to be a real man...finally.STAY STRONG AND GOD BLESS
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  3. Mrsh

    Mrsh Member

    Thank you for answering my question I also have another question a person using meth can they keep there job
  4. Mrsh

    Mrsh Member

    I try talking to him to stop or try to get help but he won't listen and everyday he has a different emotion and I'm afraid his grandma dying might make him worse
  5. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Honestly it's not likely
  6. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    These questions are hard for me because I know now,I lost my wife of over 18 years,the first 9 were rocky but we were making it,my grandma passed and the next nine year's I never felt one single emotion except "Where's my meth and beer"If he burries his emotions with dope,I hate to say this but "THE WRITING IS ON THE WALL "
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  7. Mrsh

    Mrsh Member

    I have a question can meth also make you confused i read the side effects on a website and it didn't talk about being confused or cans make up your mind
  8. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    The longer your awake the more likely you are to get confused, paranoid,extremely nervous and potentially violent.Please be careful
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  9. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    If you want to know how bad it can get if he doesn't get help....Read my story.Every word is true

    This is my story of addiction.I was born in the early 80's at the age of six year's old i was diagnosed with A.D.H.D.at that time there was a new F.D.A.approved drug by the name of Ritalin.At first it seemed to be a miracle pill,I was on this pill until the age of 18 at that time i decided i was no longer going to take this pill and it began just under a year passed and someone said "Have you ever tried crystal"which i had not at that time but i tried it and instantly noticed that it was 100% the same effect i got from Ritalin only difference was it lasted longer,or seemed to but honestly it was probably the quantity i was doing was greater than that of Ritalin i struggled with meth on and off for roughly 20 year's,not only meth but i was as well consuming 750ml of Jack Daniel's a day plus a 12 pack of beer.For those who don't know when you mix the two you don't appear to get drunk which is very deadly because infact you do get drunk however you don't realise it until it's too late meaning alcohol poisoning.I experienced this a few times and actually died on a hospital bed due to this fact,it took 3 hits with a defibrillator to restart my heart and i was told the only reason I was hit 3 times was because i was only 19 year's old,but usually after the second time if your heart doesn't restart you are then pronounced dead,but a nurse pleaded with the Dr.to try one more time and he did and my heart started back up.I didn't know at the time but that nurse was actually the mother of the lead singer of Sublime who just lost her son to a heroin overdose.I am forever grateful for that nurse without her plea i would be another statistic.Unfortunately I didn't quite using drug's at that time i just traded substances.I started abusing pain pills heavily and increased that addiction to catastrophic proportions,it got so bad i started injecting heroin which i quickly traded for oxycontin because it was much stronger than heroin.I abused fentanyl as well but nothing compared to the oxycontin.At my worst i was injecting 240-320mg's of oxycontin a day,feeling i wouldn't survive another month i decided to seek help.I'm poor and i come from poor parent's so my options were limited,i ended up at a methadone clinic for help slowly decreasing my extremely high tolerance.At the clinic i had an interview with a drug addiction counselor and an addiction physician,i was hoping for good news but what i heard shock me to my core.I was told by both the same thing,"Sir we are sorry to tell you but your addiction and tolerance is beyond the point of return,whether you quit or continue either way you cannot survive you have if your lucky a month to live"My heart sank and i decided at that moment if i was going to die i would die trying.I went home and prayed and then i called my wife into the room to tell her the news.At that moment i apologized to her told her how much she meant to me and made her promise if i didn't make it she would move on re marry and live a happy life and she noded yes.After that i quite cold turkey and suffered pain and sickness i cannot describe,for 27 straight day's i did not leave the bedroom,i did not eat,i did not sleep,i hallucinated,i screamed in intense unimaginable pain,i lost over 50 pound's in that time frame and had to be rushed to the hospital 3 time's where they would rehydrate me and try to give me pain shots to stall the detox which i refused.On day 28 I took my first steps after i quite and by the grace of God i survived and this May im married 18 year's to my beautiful wife and guardian angel.This is the first time I've shared my story of addiction and i did it for one reason alone,i want everyone to know i understand what you are going through and no matter how bad it gets there is hope.I'm here for each and everyone of you,if you ever need someone to talk to,if you ever feel no one understands im all ears and i do understand.Stay Strong We're rooting for you
    karen vanderwood and deanokat like this.
  10. Mrsh

    Mrsh Member

    His emotions are so messed up and he doesn't make sense some of the time and it's like he doesn't understand what I'm saying sometimes I'm so worried that he has some brain damage
  11. Mrsh

    Mrsh Member

    Thank you for telling me your story and I'm worried he will die but he tells me it's hard to die from meth because he smokes it
  12. Mrsh

    Mrsh Member

    He tells me he has it under control he's lying to himself he used meth 14 years ago for three years and he quite and now it 14years later and he's using when he used the first time this was before we meet he was homeless
  13. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Your HEART IS HUGE.....Thats easy to see but beware the writing is on the wall
    deanokat likes this.
  14. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @Mrsh

    Hello and welcome. You've gotten some great insight and advice from @True concern . I'm sorry that your husband is going through so much and has turned to addiction. It is something to be concerned about and there is always the risk of death with any drug. He is likely to play it off as it's no big deal, but it is a big deal. And chances are he will continue, unless he truly wants to start addressing the addictions and any issues going on underneath.

    You may want to consider getting some support for yourself. It's quite challenging to be with an active addict, especially when they do not want to hear your concerns or make any changes. You might find yourself becoming addicted to his addiction or struggling from anxiety, depression, fear, or resort to self medicating yourself. There are support groups out there for loved ones of addicts, such as nar-anon. https://www.nar-anon.org/

    Or you could consider seeing a counselor so you can process all of this with a professional.

    And please know that we are here to listen and support you however we can.
    True concern likes this.
  15. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Welcome to the community, @Mrsh. My heart aches for you because I know how much your husband's meth use is affecting you. Loving someone who struggles with addiction is incredibly difficult.

    @True concern has shared his story, experience, and insight with you, and we are grateful for that. Obviously, everyone's addiction story is a little bit different, but @True concern's is pretty typical of how drug use can ruin someone's life. And the lives of others around them.

    Take @Dominica's advice: Get some help for yourself. That's the best thing you can do right now. Go to support group meetings (Nar-Anon, Al-Anon, or SMART Recovery) and think about seeing a therapist. They can help you deal with all the feelings you're having. Trust me, working on YOU is absolutely necessary.

    There are also some books out there that could help you if you're willing to spend some time reading. Here is a link to some of my favorites:

    6 Essential Books for Those with an Addicted Loved One

    Welcome to the comI want you to remember what Nar-Anon and Al-Anon teach us about a loved one's addiction: You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. Your husband is the only one who can take the steps necessary to end his addiction. So you should focus on the one life you can control: YOURS.

    We are here to help you, support you, and listen to you. So please reach out and lean on us anytime you feel the need. We can't fix your problem, but we can empathize and do our best to make you feel like you're not alone. Because you're not.

    Sending you love, light, and hope. I will pray for your husband, too. And my deepest condolences on the loss of his grandmother.
    True concern likes this.
  16. Mrsh

    Mrsh Member

    Thank you everyone I got some bad news he told his dad he wanted a divorce but he can't afford it and his dad was like stay at the house and then he goes then I will get back with her. So I talked to him and said if you want a divorce then you can have one he said we will talk about it later. Also I told his dad that he is on drugs he doesn't believe it. And his step mom is like he must be on drugs look how he is behaving.
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  17. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I'm so sorry this is happening in your life.I pray it gets better and....im sorry I just don't know what to say to ease your pain.Keep the faith and hold your head up high because it's not your fault and you deserve to be treated with love and respect. STAY STRONG AND GOD BLESS
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  18. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @Mrsh Good morning. I'm sure it all can be quite disheartening, but I do hope that you'll continue to reach out for support for yourself. We're always here to assist as we can.
    True concern and deanokat like this.
  19. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    I'm sorry to hear that news, @Mrsh. It might actually be best to let him stay somewhere else for a while. If he stays with his dad and step mom, they will see what kind of shape he's in. And maybe they can help motivate him to seek the assistance he needs. Just a thought. But yes, like @Dominica said... Concentrate on support for YOU. And we are here for you anytime you need us.

    Also, if you don't feel like attending a Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meeting in-person at this point, maybe try an online meeting just to get a feeling for what it's like. You can find online meetings here: https://www.intherooms.com

    Sending you big hugs.
    Dominica and True concern like this.
  20. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener