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My Mom and her habbits

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by Rubyrose, Apr 12, 2015.

  1. Rubyrose

    Rubyrose Member

    Hi everyone,

    I have not spoken to many people about what I had to deal with concerning my mom but found this forum and realized I can speak to others dealing what I had to deal with.

    My mom has been into prescription drugs for quite a while. I don't even know how long she had been doing them, I just started to learn about it once I was 11 or 12 years old.

    My mom has used all kinds of prescription drugs, from Tylenol 3, to Somas (I think the correct term for that medication is carisoprodol?) and also a cough syrup with codeine (I forgot what the medication was called, I just know that it was a liquid purple cough syrup). My mom obtained the medication by her doctor and also she bought the medication from various friends of hers. I remember the times where her friends came over and sold her the medications she wanted and I vaguely remember the times when I was younger where I would ride in the car with her and she would go to a friends house to pick up the medication.

    When I was younger, I did not think much about it. I specifically knew the cough syrup she had bought would cause her to fall asleep anywhere, she used to fall asleep on the toilet and I had to keep trying to wake her up in order for me to use the bathroom. I must have been normalized in this process because I did not realize what I was dealing with was very wrong. My older brother came home because he was living long distance and saw how my mom was acting and was very worried about me, however I did not see what all the fuss was about.

    When I was in 7th or 8th grade, I used to be in a support group because we were low-income and they helped me out getting supplies/school uniforms and just had an overall support system. I had told the lady what my mom does, I had explained "My mom takes this cough medicine she buys from her friends and then it makes her fall asleep on the toilet a lot". The next day CPS came and asked my mom about the medication she was taking. Now, I forgot to mention, my mom would put the cough syrup or any other medications she bought into bottles that actually had her name when she bought from friends. So she happened to have the cough syrup in her bottle and nothing really happened. My mom still thinks to this day that a neighbor called CPS on her, but I had broken the "Don't tell anyone" rule and I have not even told her it was my fault.

    Now that I'm older, my mom has been more into Somas and it caused a lot of problems. My mom became dependent to me. She always had me get her a drink of soda or water instead of getting up and doing it herself. While I had a full day of college, I come home and have to do all the chores around the house while she had been at home watching TV all day. I know she probably would blame it on being disabled (my mom does have a lot of medical problems) but she expected me to do everything. I also worked as her homeworker and received money from that, but she would take the whole check saying I lived there. She would also take half my financial aid check I would get for college. Of course that money was spent getting the prescription drugs she likes.

    Before I left, things seemed to have gotten gradually worse. When my mom was doing that medication she would not be able to walk or talk. She would try walking but would fall down EVERYWHERE. A few times when I was at school, she would try turning the oven on to light a cigarette because she could not find her lighter/could not use it. She would leave the stove on, and being that it is a gas stove, it would smell like gas all over the house. I would come home and immediately turn it off. I was extremely frustrated with dealing with what I had to deal with, my family knew of some of the problems I was dealing with, but did not know the extent of what they were like. My husband and I lived long distance from each other and he saw first hand what I had to deal with and decided to ask me if I wanted to live with him. I talked to some of my family members and they supported the idea so I decided to leave.

    Now that I am away from all of it, I still feel like I have to deal with it sometimes. Sometimes I call my mom to ask how she is doing and sometimes she can't talk correctly because she is on those pills. She also got kicked out of the old apartment we lived at for around 22 years because she burnt a hole in the carpet and once ran into a pole with the car because she could not drive right, (I was at school otherwise I would have tried stopping her from driving). I had done a lot to try to keep my mom safe but it was hard, and now that responsibility has been kinda put on my other family members who now know what I had to deal with first hand. I talk to them at times and they tell me "I found your mom on the floor twisted in a weird position" or "I found your mom knocked out outside and had to bring her in". If I was still there it would have driven me crazy.

    Sometimes I feel bad for leaving her because she is my mom and I love her. I left because I did not want to deal with that anymore, but also left because I wanted to be close to my husband (we were fiances at the time). I also was thinking of finishing school where he lived at as well. I also feel like that I have pushed taking care of my mom on my other family members. My husband tells me that I have the right to live my own life and that they knew what was going on but now have to face it. Sometimes they say I should go back to the state I lived in before with my husband, but I rather stay here right now because I feel more at peace and I'm able to do a lot more than what I was able to do before.

    Anyway, sorry for the long post and thanks for taking the time to read it.
  2. hellonamesdana

    hellonamesdana Senior Contributor

    Sometimes its a lot easier for you to share your story and talk about it with people you don't know rather than with people you know and love. It's a good thing that you found this forum, so now you have a judgement free zone to share your personal story and talk about it!
  3. Rubyrose

    Rubyrose Member

    Thank you so much. I am glad that I found this place because it allows me to finally share my story. As you said, it is easier to share my story with those I don't know. It's just nice to finally let it all out after knowing these things for years. Only a few people I know such as my husband knows the full story of what has happened, but other family members just knew a small amount of what went on.
  4. lgdg090596

    lgdg090596 Senior Contributor

    Welcome to the forums and thanks for sharing! :)
  5. GabinoTapia

    GabinoTapia Active Contributor

    I know how you feel. My mother used to take many prescription medications to help her out, but it was obvious she was only depending on them because she believed that they where what helped her. My mother would go nuts if i would tell her that she did not need them and that it was just in her head but she just did not want to believe me. Thankfully one day I went to the doctors with her and that helped her change her mind. I think that many people today depend on prescription medicine so much and that sometimes they only take them so that they feel better in their heads. I recommend getting professional help with a doctor and tell them what your situation is I am curtain they will help you and your mom.
  6. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your story.
    It is really hard to leave someone you love but there are times that it is not good to stay anymore. Maybe try visiting her often as possible or keep the communication active/open. Maybe there could be a support group that could help her deal with her prescription addiction. It is better to do something about the addiction before it is too late.