Hello everyone! My name is Asaria, I'm an (recovering) alcoholic and it is very nice to meet all of you. After skimming through this forum and seeing so many supportive, caring and wonderful people here, I decided to sign up and share my alcoholism story with you all. In hopes I find advice, tips and such on helping myself get through this. It all started with the death of my father, an alcoholic as well. He would have his drinks, raise his voice at me and my brother and spend the next day in bed with a migraine. Although he wasn't the best father, he was still there for me and his death did a great deal of damage on me. I felt genuinely hopeless for the longest time before I had my first bottle of whisky. It made me feel strong, warm and even confident. Which led to me having unreasonable behavior with all my family and friends. They didn't know what was going on with me and I refused to open with them about it because I'm a very closed-off person but my mother and my closest friend found out eventually after almost drinking myself to death. I wasn't bothered by it because truth be told at that point, drinking was the only thing that would lift my spirits up. My mother on the other hand was determined to get me help and I'm very grateful she decided to help me. That was a few months ago and since I've only had about 4 relapses since and I'm moving forward with my life but I still need support because it gets too hard for me. Some days I just can't stay away from the drinks and I end up feeling emotionally and psychically drained the whole week after drinking because I feel as if I've let myself down but I'm working on it. I'm working on my recovery and I'm happy that I shared my story with all of you (it was quite overwhelming to write). I look forward to meeting new people here, getting and giving out and much more.