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My sister was arrested.

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by achexx84, Apr 9, 2016.

  1. achexx84

    achexx84 Active Contributor

    I'm still in shock as I write this, and still don't know all of the details but I found out yesterday that not only was my sister arrested for burglary, she was also arrested for heroin charges.

    I haven't seen my sister lately because I live an hour and half north, and our work schedules are always conflicting. We talk mostly through text or Facebook. I knew her boyfriend was a real winner and that he had an addiction to pills, but I never thought that heroin would come into the picture.

    I got a text message from my mom yesterday saying, "your sister's in jail. scumbag is too. They were robbing her best friends house and got arrested. Found heroin in the car. Baby is at home alone." See, my sister has 2 daughters, one is 7 and one will be 2. The oldest was in school while they left the baby at home alone, walking around, while they went and robbed her friends house so they could afford another hit.

    Saddest part of all of this is that my niece knows everything. She knows whats going on. She knows the name and address of the guy that sells them their stuff. My parents have that contact info and are considering going to the DEA with it, but I fear that if they do, my sister will be in even more danger when she gets out.

    What do we do? She still in jail from her initial arrest, and we don't know what the final charges are yet. We will find out on Monday. I've only been able to keep track through information I found on the jail's website. I just worry that since this guy knows my nieces, do you think that going to the DEA will put her in danger? Do you think this guy will come after my family if someone says anything?

    I'm just feeling lost and my heart is so heavy and sad. I wish I had known. I would have helped her.
  2. OHelloMe

    OHelloMe Active Contributor

    Firstly, try to breathe and relax deep breaths and a hot bath always helps me. The good news is she's in jail meaning, she isn't dead. The bad news is well, she's in jail. Hopefully this is a wakeup call for her. I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. I always felt so powerless when it came to my brother. I still do even after his death.
  3. Belovedad

    Belovedad Active Contributor

    I think you should assess the situation first. The best option right now would be to try and negotiate. Wait until Monday before you try anything. Since the initial case was robbery, the dealer my not assume that they will sell out yet.. However negotiating with the police may help both sides. So keep the information until then and see how you can help her out.
  4. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Sorry to know about that and hope that things will get better in time. Try discussing about it with family and wait for the result of her robbery case. There could also be some in there who can give professional advice.
  5. LoveEcho

    LoveEcho Community Champion

    Oh God! I know this feeling all too well! First off, I have to ask... was a member of your family able to take the children? I hope they weren't taken into protective custody and placed with strangers. It's already scary enough their mother was arrested (and obviously not doing too well with raising them). I hope they were able to be placed with someone they know, love and trust.

    Secondly, coming from someone whose siblings have spent way too many days behind bars for the same thing your sister is in for... don't bail her out! Let her dry out in jail! If you bail her out she'll be dying for a hit! That's where she'll go! That's what they all do! Especially, if she was desperate enough to rob her bestfriend. Just let her stay in jail and dry out for a while... get all the dope out of her system while she's literally in the system. That's the best thing you can do for her! Trust me! I've been there and wasted so much bail money and put myself on the line just to end up dragging them out of a crack house and revoking the bond. Then later worry about the legal stuff when she's straight and can make good desicions for herself and her children.

    I wish you the best of luck! Please, I know it's hard but just let her sit it out.
  6. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @achexx84... I'm very sorry to hear about your sister. I think @LoveEcho has provided some excellent advice. And I hope your sister gets the help she needs. In the meantime, your family should make sure that her kids are well cared for.

    Sending peace and prayers your way.
    MrsJones likes this.
  7. bhu

    bhu Active Contributor

    Hello and welcome, @achexx84. I'm so sorry to hear about your sister and her children. Stay in touch with those kids. You might not be the one caring for them, but the kids still need their connection with you. And make sure you and your parents are getting the care you need, whether it's counseling, support groups for family and friends of alcoholics (AlAnon) and addicts (NarAnon). You clearly understand that you need this support, and we're more than happy to be that for you. So please keep coming back and keep us posted on how you're doing and how we can help. You are not alone.
  8. ReadmeByAmy

    ReadmeByAmy Community Champion

    @achexx84 Hello and thank you for the courage of sharing your family story in this forum! I knew that you and your family are in pain of what is going on in your sister's life and her family. Like what they had said a family will always be a family and should be there in good and bad times of their life. Don't give up and continue to support your sister until she realize all her mistakes and up to the time she will be free from all her struggles in life. But we all know it is not an easy thing to do. What is important is her children. Take care and love them more in this trying hard moments in their life. They are still young to carry all this burdens and just keep that faith in your heart that there will still be better days to come in the life of your whole family. Keep on praying and God is always there to listen to those who really ask His mercy.
  9. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @achexx84... How are things going with your sister? Let us know when you get a chance. We are here to help and support you in this difficult time.
  10. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    @achexx84. I pray that you and your family are doing okay especially your sister's children.
  11. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    I am so sory achexx. This must really be a shock to you. Being in jail is not the worst thing that could have happened to your sister, as I am sure you know. She could be dead. Maybe this will be the wake up call she needs to turn her life around. I think you need to make the time to see her, and obviously, the kids shouldnt be with her at this point. Can you take temporary custody of them so they don't end up in foster care? I know this may be a lot to lay on you...but obviously your sister and her kids come first, before prosecuting anybody.
  12. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    So sorry @achexx84 for the mess and confusion going on around you. I would suggest for the safety of the entire family, not to say anything but your parents should take care of your nieces. Apparently, their mother is too busy getting into trouble to pay attention to her responsibilities.

    Try to calm down and not blame yourself for not being able to help her from getting into trouble. I do hope this experience will give her a change of heart.
  13. ZXD22

    ZXD22 Senior Contributor

    Wow I am sorry to hear about all the troubles my friend! I hope everything goes well for your sister and yourself and we will all be praying for the best! May god be with you all!
  14. sillylucy

    sillylucy Community Champion

    I know the feeling and the first thing you need to do is remember that she will be okay. She is probably better in jail than out on the streets with that "scumbag." Let her stay in there and do not bail her out. It will give her a chance to see what rock bottom is like and it might shake her up.
    achexx84 likes this.
  15. CryingCanary

    CryingCanary Active Contributor

    If you're worried they might come after your family, see if you can get police protection. It might help you relax and of course it will keep you safe. I hope everything goes well on Monday... good luck.
  16. anorexorcist

    anorexorcist Community Champion

    Hello, I'm really sorry to hear about your situation, I hope that you're doing better now. On times like this, you need to have your family really close to you, because all of you are going to need that support, take care of their two kids because o think that they are the most affected of this situation.
    Good luck!
  17. Mara

    Mara Community Champion

    I'm so sorry to hear that. I just hope that your nieces are okay. Are they with your mom? I know that you are worried about your sister and this may sound harsh, but don't you think that being in jail might make your sister see the error of her ways?
  18. achexx84

    achexx84 Active Contributor

    Thank you. This has been rough. My nieces are ok. The oldest one is with my mom, and the youngest is with his parents for now. My mom is fighting for full custody of both girls, and we think in about a week, his parents will be more than happy to hand the baby over too. I haven't had a chance to talk to her yet, but I have made an appointment to see her. I have had time to think it over and I'm sad at the whole thing, but I'm also glad she's in jail, because at least she's safe from her boyfriend and the people she associates herself with. She has food, shelter, and medical treatment if necessary. This is what she needs.
    MrsJones and kgord like this.
  19. achexx84

    achexx84 Active Contributor

    We decided that we were not going to throw the other guy under the bus. In the heat of the moment, my parents were freaking out and thought that would help. But it wont. I don't have to agree with his lifestyle, but I can say that I don't think it would be right to destroy someone else's life when in the end, he was just trying to make a living. He did not force my sister to do what she did, so he shouldn't have to pay the price. Not to mention, there aren't any drug charges as of yet, so there's really no reason to hurt him too, you know? Just a confusing situation.
  20. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    Yes, I think taking the time to think is one of the best things to do, and marhall your resources before you go to see her. This group will probably be a big help to you in that. Of course every geographic area and state is a little different in terms of resources they can offer. I wish the best for your family!