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My story, and why I'm here

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by lost247, Feb 28, 2016.

  1. lost247

    lost247 Active Contributor

    January 14, 2004 I checked myself into rehab. I had fallen into a hole, a horrific downward spiral, the beautiful misery of heroin addiction. While heroin was my drug of choice, I put anything and everything in my body just to not feel, and did things that haunt me sometimes even now. I hit bottom, and then fell just a little bit further, solidifying my need to change, testing myself on whether I truly wanted to live.

    I spent 5 days inpatient, after leaving the hospital I moved into a 3/4 recovery house for women where I lived for 5 months. I learned more than I imagined about myself, and my reason for using. I attended NA meetings, sometimes 3 or 4 a day when I needed them. After I left the house I moved in with another woman in recovery for a brief time before getting my own place. I had never lived on my own, and was terrified, but I had built a solid foundation for my recovery and a strong support system around me.

    I stayed with NA for almost 2 years. There were aspects of the program I still use in my life today, but I left when the meetings and the people weren't helping me any longer.

    I joined here in the hopes of being a listening ear or guiding hand to anyone struggling, especially when the 12 steps aren't working for you. Every year, I remember just where I was and how I felt when I decided I wanted to live. It is a freeing and terrifying feeling, but better than any high I've known, and I've known them all.

    Please feel free to ask anything or message anytime. I will be doing my best to be on here daily.
    rajesh, Winterybella and xTinx like this.
  2. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    Hello there! I'm glad the twelve steps program has helped you recover and become a better person. Moreover, you're not letting your past define you and darken your outlook in life. We're given only one life and we cannot afford to let this one-way ticket go to waste. Thankfully you've emerged victorious. Hopefully, more people will follow your example. Best of luck!
    lost247 likes this.
  3. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    Some people think the 12 Step programs are kind of outdated, or don't fit with their lifestyle but you are living proof they work and continue to work. Kudos to you for your recovery, and congratulations. As they say in AA Keep comin back!
  4. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    We are glad to have you @lost247 here and we hope you will feel better sharing your experiences daily; many can learn from you and you will help yourself as well. Stay Strong!
  5. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    Hi and welcome to the forum. It is so nice to have you here. Congratulations on getting your life clean. You story will inspire so many others who are struggling. I am glad you are here!!
    lost247 likes this.
  6. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @lost247... Welcome to the community. We're so glad you've joined us. Your story is an inspiration and I'm sure that your experiences and insights will be helpful to others here. Thank you for wanting to help! I look forward to seeing you around the various discussions here. :)
    lost247 likes this.
  7. lost247

    lost247 Active Contributor

    As with anything, but especially the 12 step programs, you get out what you put in. I was lucky to find an amazing sponsor early on and found a good, solid support group within the program. My personal experience with NA had it's pros and cons, but I completely credit my recovery success to the program and the things it taught me. I got to a point where people I was counting on for support and guidance were struggling in their own recovery and were going back out. It was devastating, but another lesson I needed to learn. You will always get out from a situation what you need, and the benefit is equal to what you put in.
  8. lost247

    lost247 Active Contributor

    Thank you, I look forward to getting to know you all here :) I've lost loved ones to the horrors of addiction, if I can help one person that makes me happy :)
    deanokat likes this.
  9. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    Welcome @lost247. Thank you for sharing with us. I commend you for overcoming your struggles to get back on track to better health and a better self. You have come to the right place to give and receive.
    deanokat likes this.
  10. akiram13

    akiram13 Community Champion

    Hello and welcome @lost247 I am happy that you are here willing to help others in the struggle of recovery from the bottom of the pit. I admire you for being able to work around and found a system that works for you. I can say you are very strong and it is wonderful that you are here able to share your story. I look forward to seeing you around and learning from you as well. Take care always and GOD bless.
    deanokat likes this.
  11. Kyler

    Kyler Active Contributor

    Hello lost247,

    I am very glad that you are here and you've joined the community. I am very very sure that you will be able to help so many people because you seem experienced and a person who is full of sympathy and love for other strugglers. I am really proud to meet people like you and to be able to say people like you are just an inspiration.

    deanokat likes this.
  12. ReadmeByAmy

    ReadmeByAmy Community Champion

    @lost247 Hello and welcome to this forum! It is nice to hear that you came here to inspire other people by your experiences and life story when you are still struggling and recovering with addiction. Your intention to help is really for a good cause and continue inspiring other people by your story. All the best of luck!
    deanokat likes this.
  13. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    Nice to know that you have managed to turn your life around. I'm pretty sure that your experience can be a good source of inspiration here in the forum. You can serve as a "counselor" to those people who need help. I wish you all the best!
    deanokat likes this.
  14. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    @lost247, I am happy you have found us and we you. What's clear is that you have also found yourself and a freedom that addiction denied you. Before getting to officially welcome you here I've been privileged to benefit from your insights in other threads and know that you are already a great asset to the forum. I join with the others in welcoming you here and look forward to hearing more from you.
    deanokat likes this.
  15. Momma9

    Momma9 Community Champion

    You are awesome for coming here and desiring to help others through your experience. You must be an amazingly strong person to overcome heroin addiction! I have had several friends and several of my daughter's friends die from their heroin addiction. It is nothing to mess around with. I am thankful for your life and the lives that you will be able to impact and even possibly save. Thank you for being here!
    deanokat and Winterybella like this.
  16. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    Hi there! Thanks a lot for sharing your story with us, it's always so helpful to read this kind of stories, I'm sure this will motivate others who are here in need of help :) By the way, I know the feeling you described, I also started using so I could no longer feel, and yes you practically have to decide if you want to live or not. I overdosed twice in my life... close call! Glad you decided to join us :)
  17. rajesh

    rajesh Senior Contributor

    Thank you very much for joining the forum. This forum needs brave peoples like you. Congratulations of your recovery and I am glad you are completely recovered. You have joined this forum to help other struggling members, I really appreciate the fact, dear. You have a big heart and you are full of compassion. Once again, Thanks for joining the forum. :):)
  18. bhu

    bhu Active Contributor

    Hello and welcome to the forum. The 12 steps are an awesome recovery program. It's easy to look up the number and call for help locating the nearest meetings to you. Then the meetings themselves are free and the doors are wide open. You journal, work the steps and practice the traditions and concepts. It's like somebody finally wrote the instructions for how to find your own answers to your own life. I love it! Keep coming back.
  19. djolem

    djolem Senior Contributor

    A very honest post. Thank you for sharing your former problems and present feeling with us. I understand you are clean now? If sou that is wonderful. I have a cousin who is also clean now but we in Serbia do not have such organizations for addictions. Those meetings and institutions. Here you go to a mental hospital where they do something to you and they did it to my cousin who quit heroin but in need of fix he started abusing pills and alcohol. Now, several years after he only smokes weed occasionally and it is a victory for him if you ask me abut he is a rare case. Usually people here just go on and use again.
  20. lost247

    lost247 Active Contributor

    Yes, clean for just over 12 years now. I am very grateful to be so, and am eager to help anyone who needs guidance in their own journey to recovery.

    It is very unfortunate that recovery programs are not as readily available to you in Siberia. It is a wonderful world we live in now that the internet can help to dissolve borders and allow access to forums like this that can provide a tool and support in recover when no other options are available.

    The states have come a long way in treating addiction, not so long ago we treated it the same way your cousin experienced. I hope your country can someday begin to approach addiction and recover in a more compassionate and effective way.

    Love and light to you and your cousin.