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My story.

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by diecarmona, Oct 26, 2014.

  1. diecarmona

    diecarmona Member

    First of all, I'm 20 years old. I started with weed at when I was 13, but it quickly evolved into an experimental phase where I tried every single drug I could get my hands on. When I was 17 I tried opiates for the first time, and inmediatly loved it. I started using heroin a year later, and by the time I turned 19, I had ruined my life. I'm now in recovery, 1 month clean and starting to look for jobs. I still get the urge to go out and get some, but I have to resist it in order to get my life back. I won't bother you with more details, just wanted to introduce myself to the community. Thanks for reading.
    jeremy2, Jen S., Peninha and 3 others like this.
  2. notodrugs

    notodrugs Community Listener Community Listener

    Welcome to the community diecarmona. Thanks so much for sharing your story. Honestly, the first word I thought of after I finished your story was HOPE. You're still very young. At 20, the motivating factor about your situation is you can still do something about it to live a better life; a life that you want and will enjoy. You still have a long road ahead of you that you are definitely in control of. YOU can do it! YOU can make fruitful things happen to you! YOU abound with good opportunities. And only YOU can make or break your life. Good luck diecarmona!
    Joseph likes this.
  3. frogsandlegos

    frogsandlegos Active Contributor

    Welcome, Diecarmona! :)

    Thanks for sharing your story. I'm new here too.

    I want to say that you have NOT "ruined your life". Yes, you made some mistakes and poor choices. But, you have not, by any means ruined your life. You are only 20 years old, and while you are at the beginning of your journey, and you have a fresh start in life. Please do not beat yourself up and live in regret.

    I personally know how emotionally damaging regret can be. Focus on the positives - you have been clean for one month! You are doing great and making significant progress. The next time you feel that you have "ruined your life" remind yourself that you have changed, you are only 20, and you literally have the rest of your life ahead of you. Perhaps your experience could someday positively influence another teen or young adult who has been in the same situation.,

    What type of job are you looking for? I might be able to give some job advice. Are you in college?

    I hope you are seeing a counselor often? If you are not, please seek one out. Many churches can refer you to low-cost or even free counseling. You might call 211 or your local United Way and ask for referrals. I really think counseling is important, not just to help you stay clean, but ALSO to help you deal with the issues the lead you to use in the first place.

    Take it one day at a time and NEVER give up. (HUGS)
    Joseph likes this.
  4. diecarmona

    diecarmona Member

    Thanks so much guys. You've really made my day.

    FrogsandLegos, thanks for the kind words, I'm trying to better myself everyday, I'm no longer filled with regret, although from time to time I wish I had a time machine.

    I'm looking for any kind of job now, I've even been doing some stuff online here and there. And I am seeing a counselor, thanks for your concern. She has helped me more than you can imagine and I don't know where I'd be today if it wasn't for her.

  5. jackslivi

    jackslivi Active Contributor

    Wow. Can I just first say Congrats to you on one month!!!!!! That may not seem like a huge deal for you but it for sure is! You gotta look at all the steps forward you have taken. Not the steps back. Good for you on also realizing that you can't just go out and get some more. I know it does not seem like you have gotten far but you have! Remember that. I know the urge seems to never go away but it's your will power that will get you through this! I'm so proud of you!!!
  6. tasha

    tasha Community Listener Community Listener

    Well done and CONGRATUALTIONS!!! It takes a strong person to stop and once you have found a job andhave other things to do with your time, you will have very little time to think about going to get some. You have come this far and to move forward, think of the possibilities that a clean life can give you....freedom to live and breathe and feel actual happiness. There is a brand new life waiting for you to live it and you are getting there!! Have faith, keep strong
  7. Peninha

    Peninha Community Champion

    Congrats indeed, it's really good that you're 1 year clean and thinking straight, I hope that you get a good job and keep on living a healthy life. ;)
  8. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Some advice:

    No matter what, don't ever overestimate your control over drugs. Stay away from people who do drugs, surround yourself with positive people either online or in the real world and keep fighting. Recovery takes a long time so since you chose to turn your back on drugs, keep in mind all the bad stuff they've done to you and this will make you hate them all the more and strengthen your resolve to stay clean.
  9. Davienna

    Davienna Community Champion

    Welcome home my dear. You are special, just pray and God will help you along the way. The fact that you have acknowledged your addiction and the negative effects that it had on your life is the first major step in rehabilitation. Seeking a job shows that you are determined, don't lose focus at any given moment. Keep yourself occupied, by finding several activities to do that will help to break the urge. This community is very helpful, so feel free to share any issues bothering you at any given time.
    tasha likes this.
  10. Jen S.

    Jen S. Guest

    Wow. This sounds familiar. You tried heroin 3 years later, but you're also beginning your recovery process 3 years younger than I did. THAT. IS. AWESOME. Congrats on your 1 month. Welcome to our community. :)

    p.s. I know how it feels, but trust me. You didn't ruin your life.
  11. Nick W.

    Nick W. Community Listener Community Listener

    Your life is only ruined if you give up now! You sound like you're on a good path, and working hard to get your life back on track. It can change, it will change. Just keep the faith, and work hard. Congrats on your time, and good luck!
  12. Peninha

    Peninha Community Champion

    I think that is the right way to see it, we might still have long years ahead of us if we just change the way we are acting, all can change pretty fast, for the better and for the worse.
  13. maryannballeras

    maryannballeras Senior Contributor

    It's great to hear that you're already putting back the pieces of your life together. If there will come a time that you would think of doing drugs again, just think of all the things that you can do better without drugs. I hope everything goes well on your job hunting!
  14. Peninha

    Peninha Community Champion

    I think that those thoughts never go away, but the longer it passes, the weaker they are, so when they come we can just hide them back in a dark place so that they don't haunt us again.
  15. jeremy2

    jeremy2 Community Champion

    Welcome to this forum and for sharing your story. I would like to encourage you to now focus on your future now that you have decided to leave that life that nearly ruined your life. The tricky part i presume would be on ACTING on that decision but i assure you that with will power,determination,prayers and being focused, you will definitely pull through and hopefully land your dream job.
  16. GenevB

    GenevB Community Champion

    Thanks for sharing this! I guess that weed is the thing that opens doors to other drugs after all (at least in your case). Congratulations for getting clean and taking control of your life, you are now in full control and you better keep on.
  17. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    I read this and saw that weed opened the door to your world of drugs and every other drug that followed. I applaud you for your clean month and pray that you can only get better from here. You are no bother to us at all. I am a mother and I am very much encouraged by you sharing your story.

    I feel like it has helped me to better deal with and understand some of what might be happening in the lives of some of the people I hope I am able to reach.

    Your life is not ruined. Stay on the course. You are doing a fine thing and even though I am new here, I can see already that your are surrounded my friends who only want you to succeed.
  18. bourge_21

    bourge_21 Senior Contributor

    You are young and brave. Your addiction has helped you become a better person, eventually leading you to a life you may want to build with positive actions. Don't waste it and move forward.
  19. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    Sometimes I think of your story and wonder how you are doing now. I hope you are making fine progress. Most of the people I am exposed to are doing marijuana only and I often wonder if it will escalate into to harder drugs.

    I'd love to hear from you again and again it's no bother to share your story. These stories often affect others for the better.
  20. valiantx

    valiantx Community Champion

    Good thing you are trying to become a better human, diecarmona, especially you being only 20 years of age - most never muster the will to become healthier in life once they become a habitual drug user until later in life or their addiction becomes life threatening. I'm glad you shared you story, because to well it in you usually works against your wishes to become and stay sober. Reflection and imagination are two mental abilities that set humans apart from other similar brain size and intelligent thinking creatures, because it allows humans to break free from their habits like drug use - from what I've read, most drug experimented animals are likened to hard-core addicts, they live only for the drug usage and are willing to die for it.