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My story

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Kwest92, Oct 16, 2015.

  1. Kwest92

    Kwest92 Member

    Hi, my name is Kay and I’m a drug addict. While the deepest parts of my problem lie in the last six months, I have to go to the beginning to make sense of it all. Around three years ago, I started to realize that I was depressed. With everything being the way it was then, I didn’t have insurance for myself, so I tried to self-medicate. I bought Xanax off the street and popped them like my life depended on it.

    The Xanax was enough to sate me for around a year. It was at that point that my gallbladder began to fail, and I was having pain like I’d never experienced it before. The only problem was that with me being only twenty-one, no doctor believed that I had a gallbladder problem. So they prescribed any pain pill they could. The go to was Percocet. This went on for nearly two years, and in the lulls between prescriptions I would buy the drugs where I could find them. I didn’t think I had a problem then.

    When I finally got a competent doctor, my gallbladder was diagnosed and removed. But still, after surgery you have pain meds, right? In the hospital they gave me morphine and Darvocet. My surgeon gave me a thirty day prescription for Perc 10s to take home, and after that was up, I begged for more. See, I was going on two years on pain pills. My tolerance to them was off the charts. I needed something stronger than Percocet… and then the perfect solution came along.

    I started working at one of the local restaurants at 22. While working there, I met this guy. He had access to everything I wanted. And I wanted Roxi. And boy, did he deliver. I lived off the roxi haze for quite a while. I still had my Xanax in my back pocket and I figured out that taking them together pushed me into a different dimension. It was worry free and for once in my life I felt like a person again and not a shell of myself.

    But, everything good like that comes to an end. I distanced myself from him because I felt myself going too far. Of course, I didn’t stop using. I started seeing a psychiatrist to see if I could obtain the drugs legally. And while he didn’t give me Xanax, he did prescribe me a benzo. So I took that as a legal vice. And it was at that point that my life went downhill. I’m not sure what happened, but I lost the man who had become my best friend. Everything was going down at the same time.

    So I popped my month’s prescription of Ativan and the rest of the Xanax I had on hand. For all intents and purposes, I should be dead. I still can’t explain to you why I’m not. What I do know is that I was incredibly pissed off that I was still alive. So when I got out, I did the thing I knew I shouldn’t.

    I started using heroin. Now I say this with a heavy heart. I’ve been addicted to opiates/opioids for a long time. But this drug… it had the power to make or break me. It turned my life inside out in six short months. It turned me into a thief, a liar, a cheat. It had me sitting in the bathroom stall at work desperately trying to shoot up before a customer walked in. It grabbed me and turned my life into something ugly.

    But at that point, I, quite frankly, didn’t give a ****. All I cared about was scoring another fix. Getting another shot. I’d work my ass off and volunteer to work extra hours if it meant more dope money. And I got in tight with my dope family. I care about them to this day, but I’m glad I’m not living the life they are. I broke my foot while I was high. That’s how my family learned about my drug use. I didn’t really care that they knew, the break just made it more difficult to get my drugs. The Percocet that I was prescribed was child’s play at that point. Only heroin could make it better.

    And towards the end of my addiction cocaine reared its ugly head. I’m glad I never got too attached to it. As of now, I’m just trying to lead a substance free life. And I’m glad I have such a strong support system in this community and in this house to help put me back on track.
  2. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    You certainly have been through lot in the past few years. I am glad you have been able to get clean and are now living a clean life. I wish you all the best. Then I you for taking the time to share your story with us.
    deanokat likes this.
  3. Carnold23

    Carnold23 Community Champion

    Thank you for sharing your story. I am so happy for you that you are sober and that you are trying to better your life. There is many people here to support you. Keep on doing what your doing, sounds like you are doing amazing.
    deanokat likes this.
  4. knitmehere

    knitmehere Community Champion

    You've been through a lot and I'm glad that you're trying to be free of it all now. It's nice to hear stories from people who are on the right track with life now :)
    deanokat likes this.
  5. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    Well, It certainly sounds like you have been through the mill, and I think you can get support from the people here on this site. There are some good people here who are supportive, so it seems like you have your head on straitht and can get some help from those on this site, and in the community.
    deanokat likes this.
  6. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Kwest92... Welcome to the community and thanks for sharing your story with us. It's very apparent that you have gone through quite a bit over the years, and I'm sooo glad that you're now living substance-free. Keep doing the next right thing, my friend. We are always here if you need help or support.