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My story

Discussion in 'Alcohol' started by Lexi, Nov 10, 2014.

  1. Lexi

    Lexi Member

    My story would shock anyone I met today. After making major changes in my life, I am a completely different person. Some of my friends that I have only known the past few years are surprised to here about my past when I talk about it.

    I was an alcoholic from the age of 13 to 16. When I moved to a new part of the city just before grade 8 began, I made some new friends and that is how my addiction started.

    When I moved into my new home, I was happy, there was not a thought in my mind that anything was going to go wrong. My dad was promoted at work and we moved into a much nicer home. Everything was perfect.

    I met some new friends when school started. I liked the new school. At first it was a little intimidating but, that quickly changed on the first day when I met some col people. That was the first year I went to a house party. It wasn't a big one, not too many people. however, there was a great supply of alcohol.

    My friend Tyler lived with his older brother and always had alcohol and drugs around him. To this day I have never touched a drug. I'm glad that I didn't accept those offers. When hanging out with Tyler, I would drink with him and some of our other friends. Not one single time did I ever need to pay for the alcohol. In fact, I have never purchased alcohol in my life.

    It was hard not to drink when I was around a group of friends that would drink constantly. At the age of 13 I was already becoming addicted, drinking at least 3-4 days per week. The funny thing was that I drank more often on weekdays then on weekends. On the weekend I would hang out with the girls and not so much with Tyler and the guys. That was a good choice. Because of that I have a great friend that is still a best friend to this day.

    So, when I was at Tylers house drinking, it was fun. All we did was talk and watch tv mostly. Sometimes people would play video games, not much else went on. Then one day there was only 3 of us. Myself, Tyler and our friend Greg. Greg didn't stay long. I was thinking about leaving too I remember. That was until Tyler forced himself on me. It happened out of no where. He was high at the time and when I told him to stop it seemed like he didn't even hear me. He didn't hurt me, he wasn't violent at all but, he would not let me go. I don't want to get into details about that incident.

    After that had happened, he apologized to me over and over. He even cried one night when talking on the phone when telling me how sorry he was and how he felt like he wasn't in control when it happened. I forgave him.

    That incident was a one time thing, it never happened again and he never did anything beyond smoke weed after that day. That was the only reason that I was still hanging around him so much. I told him he needed to stop doing drugs.

    The rest of my story can be summed up by saying that I missed a lot of school and I no longer played tennis (I played tennis religiously as a kid). Alcohol took over my life. I felt depressed when I went too long without drinking and I had no reason to feel depressed.

    Looking back, it was a very gross situation. All that I did was hangout at a house and drink while not doing much else. My life was on pace to go no where.

    One day I decided that I was done with it. I wanted more out of life. I didn't want to be an average person , living an average life. I broke off all communication between myself and 3 of my friends. There was only 1 friend that I still continued to associate with.

    It was not easy to do this and I didn't care. I was so determined to change my life around. I would talk to myself and tell myself that "I am better then this, I can do so much more in life".

    I have not drank any alcohol since grade 10. I went on to finish high school with good grades. Now, my focus is on becoming an entrepreneur and I will not fail!

    I only surround myself with positive people that benefit my life and now life is great!
  2. Juan

    Juan Active Contributor

    Well, welcome to the forum, Lexi. You have a very interesting and inspirational story. It's unbelievable how young some of us were when we had our first contact with addictive substances. I started smoking and drinking when I was 11 years old, just because I wanted to be cool.

    It's so good that you decided to turn your life around, and at a very young age. Congratulations. Life is great, indeed!
  3. RakeMind4

    RakeMind4 Active Contributor

    Howdy Shiela! Sorry to hear you got kind of raped. Got to be careful around us guys, especially when there's drugs and alcohol involved.

    That time of life, like, 12-16, can be a real bruiser. I don't know why, but that does seem to be one of the most difficult and chaotic stages of life. Can be alot of fun, too, though.

    At any rate, it's good you made it through with a clear focus of what you want to do with your life. That's good. Keep that. And also keep an eye out for ghosts from the past to start "haunting" your life. By this I mean that, at least in my experience, just because I kind of made it through some really rough teenage years, those experiences and influences are not completely dead.
  4. geegee

    geegee Active Contributor

    That was a shocking experience indeed! It must have been tough to trust people after that experience. I'm glad you've learned how to mend after that. You are indeed better and it's amazing how you've turned your life around! Thanks for sharing such a tough personal experience!
  5. SuphaflyUK

    SuphaflyUK Member

    Hi Lexi, thanks for your story. I am of the belief that alcoholics are always alcoholics, except in some very rare cases. So when you said you were an alcoholic between 13-16 I think it just meant you drank very heavily at the time. Whether or not you are an alcoholic now is difficult to say since you dont touch the stuff anymore.

    I've never met an alcoholic who is cured and when they get sober and take even one drink they go right back to where they started and destroy their life. I hope this never happens to you but its something to be wary of. Enjoy the stay :)
  6. maryannballeras

    maryannballeras Senior Contributor

    Hi, Lexi! Reading your story, I can pretty much say that you are a very strong person for making that decision to stop drinking. Not everyone can do that but you were able to. Your courage was so strong and it's so inspiring. I hope that more and more people can be like you.
  7. Lexi

    Lexi Member

    Thanks for the replies!

    @SuphaflyUK The last few years I have had less then 5 total drinks and those drinks were light and were when I was at a birthday part and on new years. So, am I an alcoholic still? No. I live a very disciplined life.

    @Juan Yes, it's best to make changes as soon as possible. Don't let your life go to waste.

    @RakeMind4 The alcoholic version of me is completely dead and won't be returning. I have such a big desire to find great success in my life and that desire overpowers all the negative influences.

    @geegee It was and still is difficult to trust boys after that experience but, I also realize that if I did not put myself into a bad situation, nothing would have happened. Slightly my fault.

    @maryannballer My life hit a low point and during one week when I was having suicidal thoughts, I decided that the only way things were going to change was if I made some big changes. I knew no matter what it would take I was not going to give up and let my life slip away. Looking back, the changes I made were small but, they felt huge at the time.

    If you know who Skylar Grey is (singer) you will know the song "I'm coming home". That song might have saved my life. At my lowest point, I was crying and when that song came on I completely lost it.. and in that same moment, I had the thought of "I am not going out like this". That song literally broke me down and built me up in minutes. I cannot listen to it without crying now but, those are tears of happiness.
  8. geegee

    geegee Active Contributor

    While I agree that it wasn't a good decision, I hope you've forgiven yourself. It seems like you have and that's great. Not many people do. I was curious about the song you mentioned and searched for the lyrics. It's got some powerful words! I like the part that says "I know my kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes" and "Still far away, From where I belong, but it's always darkest before the dawn" I'm glad it helped you!
    Lexi likes this.
  9. Lexi

    Lexi Member

    I have forgiven myself. Gotta let those demons go. Angels and demons are really just forms of energy that we carry with us and create. It's not good to "hold back" when you want to do or say something. Releasing the negative energy is always good. People that hold things in and dwell on them, all have negativity in their lives. Forget the negatives and hold on to the positives, that is what living a quality life is all about.
    geegee likes this.
  10. valiantx

    valiantx Community Champion

    Thanks for the share Lexi, your story was very intriguing. It is very hard to let go of friends, especially drug using friends, because a group of any kind is like participating in a mass ritual like activity via a practice of or for something and this creates a strong bond. Habituation is practically the strongest bond, even more so than family or friends, because to the mind it appear like one's habit is a part of "self," which is the strongest phenomenon I know of.

    So to break from something that one identified as part of their self, and move onto something else that is more beneficial, is what one must do to dissolve from any addiction - which you have shown to us as possible Lexi.
    Lexi likes this.
  11. Lexi

    Lexi Member

    I loved that post valiantx!

    It's so true. Strong bonds are created through addictions and the people involved tend to stick together. It was super difficult to let go of my friends. I almost could not do it and found myself asking why because, they were not benefiting me at all besides making me laugh. The negatives completely out weighed the positives and still it was not easy to set myself free from them.

    Sometimes you need to make choices that will not be enjoyable at first but, will turn out great in the future.