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My Wife is quitting cigarettes

Discussion in 'Tobacco / Nicotine' started by norms options, Aug 29, 2015.

  1. norms options

    norms options Active Contributor

    Well, this is day one...my wife is giving up cigarettes. It is not going too well today, she is craving something terrible and seems depressed. I love and support her totally and am so glad she is trying to quit, but I feel helpless because anything I try to do to help her feel better is worthless. I am trying to just be there for her, while giving her the space she needs, but I am wondering if anyone has any advice concerning how I might be able to help her get through this initial struggle.
    Damien Lee likes this.
  2. sonia11

    sonia11 Senior Contributor

    I think you're doing your best now. You're doing exactly what you should. Be supportive, give her space if she wants to be left alone, maybe try to take her mind off it by doing something you both enjoy if she's able. Congrats to her for trying to quit, and good luck!
    norms options likes this.
  3. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    It is really nice to know that she is wanting and trying to quit smoking. Maybe try going out with her or do activities to help her forget about the smoking. She is lucky to have a supporting husband like you and keep motivated.
  4. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    Try to not push the matter too much, she is definitely going to have to adjust to the craving feelings so it's better to give her the space that she needs. Try to be supportive and firm when talking to her about this situation, but don't be too pushy about the subject. If she'd like to talk about it she'll do so, otherwise don't bring it up.
  5. norms options

    norms options Active Contributor

    Thanks for all of your encouraging words. just wanted to give a quick update. We did not make it through day one. We have altered her strategy to put a limit of 5 per day for 2 weeks and then whittle it down from there. Last night it got too rough for her with the physical withdrawal, so we are going to try the daily limit to try and reduce the addiction at a slower rate.
  6. singingintherain

    singingintherain Community Champion

    Reducing the amount she smokes gradually might work better for her! At least she's trying something. Nicotine withdrawal is no fun and it definitely made me very cranky. It will be really helpful for her to have you helping with this.

    I found one of the hardest things to be filling all that extra time. It helps to have things planned out for the day ahead so that you're not sitting around thinking about not smoking for too long.
  7. anorexorcist

    anorexorcist Community Champion

    Don't be too worried about the reactions that she may have through this process, is obviously not easy for her or for anybody to quit smoking, so I think that the best thing that you should do is to keep supporting her, she needs a lot of mental strength to make it, try to motivate her! For example, try to congratulate her after every day that she doesn't smoke.

    Good luck for the both of you!
  8. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    I wish your wife all the best. I know it can be a tough addiction to break but she can do this with the support from you and her family and friends. Everything takes times but she just has to stick with it and know that she is doing this for her health. Please keep us updated!! Cheering her on from Canada!!
  9. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    Quitting nicotine is not only horrible for the person, but can also impact on the rest of the friends and family aswell. All you can do is be supportive and also try and not react to situations that will crop up.

    She'll obviously be short tempered and maybe a bit moody and emotional, but that's just the effect of the nicotine withdrawal, so take whatever she says or does with a pinch of salt and realise that it's just a side effect, she's not turned into a monster over night.
  10. SLTE

    SLTE Community Champion

    Probably a good idea. Quitting cold turkey is only for those with insanely high willpower, and I doubt most people could go that route immediately. My mom has been trying to reduce her cigarette intake for years, and she gets irritable if you so much as suggest that she not smoke on any given day. Knowing that the person is being governed by their chemical responses to the nicotine, and isn't necessarily in control of how they act, doesn't help either.
  11. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    Should the cravings for nicotine be too strong to resist then you could advice your wife to try nicotine patches or nicotine gums [as replacement for the nicotine she'd get from cigarettes]. This should help for a little while. When cravings for cigars begin to fade it will be somewhat easier to stop using nicotine patches, nicotine gums, etc.
  12. JonnyMacdonald

    JonnyMacdonald Community Champion

    Good for her!
    Good for you for helping to support her too, I was a terrible miserable you know what when I quit.
    I was lucky to have people support me and help me though it.
  13. Jamesbonner

    Jamesbonner Active Contributor

    as a smoker, one of the things that makes me want to smoke is the empty time, try to fill her space all the time, be with her, try to help her in her work, try to find something that you can do both to kill time with it, she's gonna have some headachs so just be with her and you'll help believe me :)
  14. jbbarn

    jbbarn Active Contributor

    I applaud your support for your wife! When I was trying to quit, my (now ex) husband was so watchful of me. He made me so nervous, always asking if I was going through withdrawal, was I really going to make it, etc., that he made me want to smoke that much more! It was all I could think about, because it's all he talked about! I just wanted him to understand that I was going through a version of hell, and doing the best I could. When I had the inevitable slip-up, he was very critical and condemning of me. I finally went to my doctor and she recommended some things for me to try. I bought nicotine gum, and a bunch of cozy mysteries, and isolated myself as best I could for a couple of weeks. It worked for me. Best of luck to the both of you!
  15. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    The best thing you can do is keep her mind occupied. Cigarette cravings are the worst and you really do not feel any relief for up to 72 hours. She will probably be very grumpy at first. Just be supportive and let her know that you are there for her.
  16. Tsky45

    Tsky45 Community Champion

    I've heard that mint helps with cravings. They say that mint helps with the menthol craving. There was a post on here where someone suggested Jiffy POP because it resembled the smoking routine somehow. Most of all your support without judgement is the best help she can get. I wish you both good luck.
  17. norms options

    norms options Active Contributor

    I just wanted to give a quick update...She is doing great with the 5 per day limit, which is a significant improvement from where she started. She was smoking 10-20 a day, so even getting down to 5 is awesome in my opinion. We have been at the limit for 10 or 11 days, so it will be time to revisit the idea of dropping down to 4 sometime in the next few days, but whatever she is comfortable with is fine with me. I went through a very similar process when I quit several years ago, but I stayed on my limits for quite a while until I realized that I finally did not want to smoke. Thanks to everyone for all of your positive input and your support. It really helps...
    Coolkidhere likes this.
  18. Coolkidhere

    Coolkidhere Community Champion

    It's very good to read this! Keep up the good work both of you. I wish my husband has the same courage as both of you got. I tried a lot of times to make him quit smoking, but he still won't listen. Anyway, I think your approach will work. Cutting down on smoking is a big step. And a step to the right direction. Eventually, she will quit smoking entirely. Let's hope! I hope to read more of your updates.
    norms options likes this.
  19. Damien Lee

    Damien Lee Community Champion

    I commend you for being by your wife's side. This is a difficult period for her and she needs all the help that she can get. The fact that she wants to quit cigarettes is a positive sign and an important first step. Naturally, she will crave cigarettes for a long time to come. It will be a battle every single day but the war can be won. Help her to stay the course so that this goal can be achieved.
    norms options likes this.