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Narcotic Pain Med Addict

Discussion in 'Prescription Drugs' started by Elysia, Jul 9, 2016.

  1. Elysia

    Elysia Member

    Hi Everyone. I'm new here. I developed a sever addiction to narcotic pain meds. It started with my doctor giving me 180 a month. The first time I felt morphine in my system I knew I was hooked. I'm mad that she gave me so many but at the same time, I never said a word. Before I knew it I was snorting and swallowing 50 a day....
    So then I went to the streets. Which is where I met my dealer. And everything was wonderful for so long, no emotions whatsoever.... but then it stopped working and I started withdrawing hardcore....
    And one day I got up and no one could get anything... so I called my therapist and told her everything. She made me tell my doc, so no more there. I kept going by the streets but then I just got so tired.

    I went to to detox for three days and was eventrually put on suboxone. I was under the impression suboxone blocked opiates so I didn't misuse it, until one day I thought what the F@ck? And it gave me a weird high. And once I got out of detox I figured NOW I can use them normally right???? Not a chance. My dealer kept pressing me to do heroin...much cheaper. I am so incredibly grateful I never did that...

    So now I go to AA. Because when I can't get pills I turn to alcohol... And last wednesday, a very good friend of mine had just had her second baby one month earlier. She was an addict too. And she managed to get her hands on a prescription, but her tolerance was so low...she passed away. 33 years old leaving behind a three year old daughter, her husband, and a 5 week old baby.
    I am now scared. And incredibly angry. All that doctor had to do was look up her med history and he NEVER would have given her anything.

    I mean, I know it is our responspibilty to tell our docs, but it takes 2 minutes to look up a med history. So why didn't he?????

    I feel so sad, so angry and so guilty, cause last year I bought some methadone from a friend and I was so high I took to many. She dropped me off at my apt, took off and I passed out on the lawn in 5 degree weather. My neighbor found me 2 1/2 hours later. She thought I was dead. My temp at the hospital was 92 degrees. They were able to get narcan in me but I spent three days in the ICU....

    I was lucky. So now I am trying sobriety... it is so hard!!!!!!
    Anyway, sorry to dump my sh@t on everyone right off the bat, I just need a place to go.... and the f#cked up thing is since she died???? All I want is pills....
    Anyway, so sorry, so guilty, so sad, so angry
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Elysia... Welcome and thanks for sharing with us. I'm so happy that you've found sobriety. The way you got hooked on pills is much too common of an occurrence. We definitely have to change the way pain meds are prescribed, or a lot of other people are going to end up addicted.

    Keep doing the next right thing, my friend. :)