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Need recommendation of good rehab program with sober living, have BCBS insurance

Discussion in 'Other Recovery Support Groups' started by Janlynn, Mar 7, 2017.

  1. Janlynn

    Janlynn Member

    My 23 daughter is addicted to heroin. She has been addicted to different drugs for 7 years now. She has been to 3 rehab facilities but has not been happy with any of them and therefore not successful. She suffers with anxiety and depression as well as daddy abandonment issues. She is an intelligent girl but has failed to thrive after graduating high school. She has worked only a few jobs and only for very short periods of time. She dropped out of cosmetology school due to drugs. In the past 2 years she has not worked or gone to school. I am emotionally and financially strained. The mental stress of the past 7 years has caused severe depression for me. I am desperate to find a rehab facility with a high success rate and one that she can move from inpatient treatment to long term sober living. PLEASE HELP!!!
  2. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Janlynn... Welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry that your daughter is struggling. As the father of a son who battled heroin addiction for a while, I know exactly how you feel.

    You say your daughter hasn't been successful at the three rehab facilities she's been to because she wasn't happy with them. Can you be more specific? What didn't she like about them?

    From my experience with my son, not being successful in rehab has more to do with the individual than the treatment facility. Unless the person receiving treatment truly wants to change, the best, most expensive rehab in the world isn't going to help them. I know that may sound harsh, but it's the truth. My son also went to three different rehabs before finally deciding he had had enough. When he went to his fourth rehab, he was ready and willing to make a commitment to get clean. That's why he finally had success.

    There's a wonderful book out there that I think could really help you deal with your daughter's situation. It's called Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change and it's written specifically for parents and partners of people struggling with addiction. It is the best book I've ever read on the subject and I wish it would've been around when I was dealing with my son's addiction. It teaches you how to communicate better with your child, how to help motivate them to want to change, and--most importantly--how to take care of yourself while you're supporting them. Please buy the book and read it ASAP. I know it will make a difference.

    Recommending specific rehab facilities isn't something I like to do. What works for one person may not work for another person. And, like I said before, the success of a treatment center is highly dependent on the attitude and mindset of the patient.

    We are here for you. You are not alone. Please feel free to reach out whenever you need to. And feel free to message me privately if you'd like. I'd be happy to share any of my experience with my son with you.

    Sending you lots of positive vibes and big hugs full of hope.
  3. Janlynn

    Janlynn Member

    I agree with you...I think it is more her attitude than anything to do with the facilities. She has been to reputable rehab facilities that would have transitioned her into sober living and helped her to get a job. I really believe now that it is her unwillingness to change. I feel that she does not want to grow up and accept responsibility. She is an only child and wants to run to mom to fix everything. Mom has had enough!
    She abandoned a nice rehab facility in Florida last week and had them fly her back to NC. She showed up on my doorstep last Thursday and was gone with the heroin addict boyfriend that same day. She was there for about 45 days and all she did was whine and complain. The counselors noted her lack of participation and they did everything in their power to get her to stay and work the program.
    I basically forced her to go this last time and I feel that she never had any intentions of participating in the program. She just simply had nowhere else to go. Her stepfather will not allow her back in the house and will not even speak to her. She has closed all doors to all family members and I am all she has left.
    I am finally truly accepting that she is an addict and she is comfortable with her lifestyle. She is simply not ready to change and I have to accept that; however, I will no longer enable her.
    deanokat likes this.
  4. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Good for you for saying you won't enable her anymore, @Janlynn. As someone who's been through what you've been through (more or less), I can say that enabling is an incredibly common thing for parents of kids struggling with addiction to do. It wasn't until my wife and I stopped enabling our son that things started to get better...for everyone.

    I don't know if you're familiar with the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) website, but they have a really good "Treatment Locator" tool there. You can search for treatment facilities based on your location and the results are pretty comprehensive. It will also tell you which places take insurance, the type of care they offer, their treatment approaches, what ancillary care they offer, etc. It could come in handy for your daughter. Here's the link:

    I highly recommend you get that Beyond Addiction book. It really is amazing. I learned so much from it even though I read it after my son's addiction issues had pretty much subsided.

    Keep taking care of YOU, my friend. Self-care is essential when you're dealing with the things you're dealing with. Remember: YOUR life matters, too.

    Big hugs.