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Discussion in 'Prescription Drugs' started by Tom404, Feb 21, 2015.

  1. Tom404

    Tom404 Member

    My wife is in constant pain from low back failed operations. She is on prescription drugs for pain and muscle relaxers and sleeping pills. She says the pain killers only work if she takes twice as much as prescribed sometimes more. So she runs through a month supply in two weeks or less. So then she takes her sleeping pills at twice the prescribed rate. So she can sleep through the pain . Every month it's the same thing. Also she drinks about 96 once of wine everyday. If I'd give her more she'd drink more. But she falls out of bed all the time and more wine would just make it worse. For the last year this amount of wine as not really made her act drunk . But now all of a sudden she seems really plastered. I wonder if that might be because her liver is not working as well. Any thoughts. If anyone has experence with a situation similar, please give me your thoughts. I'm afraid for her. Thanks for sharing. Tom
  2. pandabear1991

    pandabear1991 Active Contributor

    I would have to say, (and please don't take this the wrong way) you are feeding her addictions. She should not be consuming wine while taking pain pills, muscle relaxers and sleep aid let alone while she is taking 2 times what is prescribed. You should be encouraging her to do what is right, the pills as directed, and lots of physical therapy for her back daily.

    If she were to need a stomach pump today (from collapse or anything similar) the doctors would stop prescribing the medication, possibly lock her in rehab (depending on state mental health law enforcement) and look at you as responsible. I really am not trying to come off ugly, but you haven't mentioned what you have done to improve/support her good health? Damaging her liver should have been considered when the extra pill intake started. Drinking and pain pills combined are more than likely causing even worst back pain. But I am in no way trying to talk down to you, I am being honest and sincere.

    The first step, in my opinion, is getting her back on the medication as the doctor has prescribed. Do not be afraid to do what is best for her and simply do not give her more wine. I hope you can be strong and confident enough to do what is best for her. She needs you now more than ever--to do what is best, not what seems most comfortable.
    Tom404 likes this.
  3. Tom404

    Tom404 Member

    _.........................................................Thanks for your reply and yes I've thought that all along . But she is such a nag when she doesn't get whatever she wants. She makes life here impossible. It's eather give her what she wants or Leave. She was such a good wife, I want to do anything she wants now that she can't do for herself. Litterly, I make her something to eat before I go to work. And she eats little bits of it for hours because she can't eat much at any one time. And she spends 95 % of her day in bed. I keep telling her she's killing herself but she turns a deaf ear. It's her way or here's no peace in this house. I love her to much to she her go into a home. where they take total control of everything. Her mom had alzheimers and we saw how it was there. I can't do that to her . Yes I am afraid that I would be held responsible for her condition in any event she were attended by parmedics. But what am I to do put my foot down. And live in hell, because she will see to it that I do. Anytime I even try To slow down her drinking she dirty talks my controlling behavior. But in reality I know it's her that controls my behavior. So she gets what she wants. Please help Me be strong enough to stand the abuse I will receive if I make her do what's right. She has gotten so bad in health that when she is out of her strongest pain med she has constant diarrhea and has very pour control. She throws up most everything she eats for the first week or so after she runs out Of pain killer. It's some kind of patch the she is supposed to wear on her skin . But they don't do enough good so she chews them instead. Her talerance is really high. So she needs a lot more than she should. Yes I am pleading help me be strong. I really need someone to talk to. I am so lost. In dispair. .....
  4. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    It seems like you really need a break. You certainly cannot continue like this, you will become ill yourself. Can you talk to her doctor at all? I know that he won't be able to discuss any specifics with you, due to confidentiality, but there is nothing stopping you from telling the doctor exactly what is going on at home. Don't hold back on this, tell them exactly what is happening.
    Tom404 likes this.
  5. Tom404

    Tom404 Member

    IF I TALK TO HER DOCTOR HE WILL TAKE HER MEDS AWAY.
  6. Tom404

    Tom404 Member

  7. Tom404

    Tom404 Member

    .............................
    ....................How can I do that to her.
  8. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    Tom-I understand the fire situation you are in right now. You want to help your wife and make her better, but you are going about it the wrong way. I hope you do not take offense to this, because I am only trying to provide you with some advice. If your wife continues taking the amount of pills and alcohol you described above, the situation will not turn out well and she will end up very sick or worse. The body can't take that lifestyle for long and organs will start to shut down. I am sure you love her very much and that is why you are helping her the way she thinks she needs help, but this is only enabling the situation.

    You need to put your foot down and get her some professional help. Yes the doctor might take the mess away that she is on, but they are not helping her anyway at this point. There is pain management that can be done to help her long term, but she needs to get through recovery first. If she is angry with you now, it should be expected because this is the drugs talking, probably not her. Once she is healthy again, she will thank you
    Tom404 likes this.
  9. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    Rosyrain is absolutely right. Things cannot continue like this and if she doesn't get any help, the situation will only get worse. Yes, she probably will get angry at you - you just have to walk away when this happens, take some time out. She clearly needs a review and the kindest thing you can do for her is to arrange this.
    Tom404 likes this.
  10. Tom404

    Tom404 Member

    ,.........Thank you everyone. For your input. No offense taken I know you are right. I wish my wife did. I'm sure I will let her read everyone's input sooner or later. So if anyone else wants to add their support to the cause of her drying out. Please add your opinion. Maybe it will make her see that we all can't be wrong. She just turns a blind eye to the fact that this can kill her. And ultimately I will take the fall for allowing it. Thanks again Tom
  11. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    I wish your wife the best of luck and she is lucky to have someone like you who wants so desperately to help her. Once she gets clean and sober she will see this about you. She does need to get clean and sober though and it sounds like the only way it is going to happen right now is if you provide her with tough love. Don't turn your back on her, but be firm and get her the help she needs. I hope you do let her read all of these messages when she is sober and ready because we all care and are rooting for her life. Please keep us updated.
  12. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    It sounds like Tom is stuck between a rock and a hard place. My first thought was to discuss the concern with the doctor and chart a way forward. I am still leaning towards this provided of course it's a very good doctor who recognizes it's a very sensitive issue and knows how to act as an interim "counsellor".

    Not all are good in this area. Whatever happens it's going to have to be a team effort and your wife has to get on board and also recognise you have here best interest at her. In support of her attitude towards getting help, sometimes illness affects behaviours with no one really understanding until there are in a similar position. Do your part as a husband: no one can ask for more. At least you know there is a community rooting for you both.

    I don't know if I missed it: are children involved? Sometimes they have a way of reaching into difficult areas.
    Tom404 likes this.
  13. Tom404

    Tom404 Member

    The kids are grown and on their own. The youngest is very aware of the situation as she has only been out of the house a few years.
    Wife fell again walking to the bathroom. This time landed on her butt. Gonna have a but brush there too. The others are from falling out of bed a couple of days ago . One on her back arm and leg. Was to weak to get off the floor for a couple of hours. I was at work at the time. She is 57 and I am 62. Plan to retire at 66 but don't know if I'll be able to leave her by herself for 9 or 10 hours a day that long. Have considered hiring someone to help around the house and be here just in case. That would be cheeper than retiring I think. Besides it sure would be nice to have the house clean again . Thanks again for the imput it's really nice to communicate with someone About all this . It seems to be helping my mental state alot.
  14. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    Maybe hiring help would be a good idea. I think you actually need to go out work right now - it gives you a break from the situation at home (and you mustn't ever feel guilty about needing a break, by the way!) and home life might be a little more bearable if the house is clean. They say a tidy home equals a tidy mind, after all.
  15. HugsNotDrugs

    HugsNotDrugs Active Contributor

    It's probably the medication coupled with her usual drink that's making her extra woozy at night. But I'd say it's still best to talk to a doctor to make SURE it's not her liver.

    It sounds like your wife may have an addiction problem. There are many pain treatments that don't involve pills such as injections received at the doctor's office or a pain pump that sends frequencies along the nerves that are in pain or doses her medication for her regularly. Have her talk to her doctor about some non-narcotic painkilling options.
  16. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    Hello Tom! What I'm going to tell you may require you to do things out of character but given your circumstances, I think it's the most appropriate solution available. First of all, be stronger than your wife. She's at a point in her life where she cannot make the right decisions. You, who knows all too well what's not good for her, should stop her from drinking her life away. Did you seek help from an institution? Did you bring her to the doctor? I'm sure medical experts have told you her liver has been damaged by alcohol. More alcohol will make matters worse for her. Therefore, never ever allow her near a bottle. If she throws tantrums, ask help from the nearest institution. Don't be afraid to decide on your wife's behalf. You cannot let her have her way this time.
    pandabear1991 likes this.
  17. pandabear1991

    pandabear1991 Active Contributor

    @xTinx is most certainly right.

    But also to keep in mind, if she gets institutionalized, and you are the one to help her get there, she should not be there forever or the rest of her life. They will help her get to a point of recovery, then release her back to you (providing your wife doesn't throw you under the bus and demand recovery help from someone besides you). From there, it is your choice to help keep her clean, healthy, and on the right track and if she starts lashing out, just ignore her. Yes, put your foot down! You are helping your wife kill herself at this point and if it were to happen tomorrow due to your negligence, you may be the one facing punishment.

    But like I said, get her the help she needs and while she is getting it seek help for yourself. No one here is a doctor, nor can we give that sort of advice. We can all be supportive, but the initiative and the courage to do what is right comes from you. You have to be the one to make sure she and yourself get the appropriate help at this point, no one else can do it for you. And if the doctors take her medications away, then so be it. They will not neglect her treatment, they will simply recommend another treatment plan.
  18. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

  19. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    "Have considered hiring someone to help around the house and be here just in case. That would be cheaper than retiring I think. Besides it sure would be nice to have the house clean again ."End of Quote

    There is no question you are going through a lot here, but something has to give. You have to act and NOW. There is no shortage of advise here: you now have to see what can work best for you both. You both need help. We know it helps to come here and pretty much lay it all out on the table, but when you are done posting, you have to go back to a stressful situation. Let the kids know the gravity of the situation if you think it will help. I am away from my mom, but I always step in when it comes to her health.

    Make a decision to act now before it's too late. I say that with nothing but love in my heart. Get that interim help and it might seem a slight thing, but coming home to a clean home makes dealing with stressful situation easier. We are rooting for you here.
  20. tom4046

    tom4046 Member

    ..................................................................Tom404........It been a few days since I've posted for two reasons first I forgot the password and Monday my wife had a doctor appointment for a regular prescription refill. But she was so weak that she had to stop and sit or lay down every minute or two. finally got to the doctors office and they couldn't get a BP reading. So he wrote her scripts and told us to go to the hospital emergency room. So I drove her there and they admitied her . Gave a drug to raise her bp. Greneral consinous is that she is so dehydrated it caused her bp to drop. So their IV ING fluids with the drug to raise her bp. .. we're into the second day here and they are weening her off the drug and hoping her fluid level ( hydration ) has risen enough to keep her bp in normal range. Once her bp stableizies they'll let her out of ICU And put her in a regular room. If it doesn't stableizie then it's something more than just her hydration keeping her bp down .. Last night her bp got down to 55/38 for a little while . I hope this serves as a wakeup call for her. Maybe she'll see that she really is taking chances with her life. . As for the suggestion of pain clinics and cortisone shots . Been there done that several times on both counts the last time she was in a pain clinic ,they had been treating her for more than 6 months and she asked the family doctor if there was anything he could prescribe that would help with her pain and he gave her a script for Some muscle relaxer. And when the pain clinic tested her blood and found the drug that they did not prescribe they kicked her out . Went to several doctors before she found one that would give her something strong enough to help. After a year or so of seeing him she built up enough tolerance to the MEDS that she started taking the used patches off her back and chewing it to get the last dreges of medication out of them while putting no the next patch. Slowly she started chewing the patches when they had been on her back less and less time, thus increasing the amount of medicine she was getting . Building a tollarence to it and needing more. So now for many months she has been cutting fresh patches into. Quarters and chewing them as needed. Using on average one patch a day . While she is prescribed 15 patches for each month . Thus 2 weeks of withdrawal when she can't eat or drink anything much and get it to stay down. Thanks for listening and your thoughts. Tom 404


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