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need to save my daughter

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by yaya, Aug 7, 2018.

  1. yaya

    yaya Member

    I HOPE I AM DOING THIS RIGHT, THIS IS MY FIRST TIME JOINING ANY KIND OF GROUP
    I AM 44 MOTHER OF 3 AND GRANDMOTHER OF 4...MY DAUGHTER IS 27 AND I HAVE HAD FULL LEGAL CUSTODY OF HER 3 CHILDREN NOW 5,6.8...2 BOYS AND 1 GIRL

    SHE IS MY OLDEST BUT SHE IS MY BABY GIRL, MY HEARTACHE IS SO GREAT THAT I DONT KNOW HOW TO GO ON AT TIMES...I HAVE HAD CUSTODY FOR 3 YEARS, SHE HAS BEEN IN AND OUT OF OUR LIVES, FOR COUPLE DAYS AT A TIME ETC, I HAVE NOT SEEN HER SINCE DECEMBER 12, 2017, WE HAVE HAD LIMITED PHONE CALLS IN WHICH IM USUALLY BEGGING TO LET ME HELP HER..

    A RECENT BOYFRIEND OF HERS WAS RAIDED AND ARESSTED WITH 90 GRAND IN METH ALONG WITH OTHER THINGS..I HAD KNOWN ABOUT METH ADDICTION FOR A WHILE AND THEN I STARTED HEARING ABOUT HEROIN..
    THE BOYFRIENDS MOM HAD BEEN TRYING TO LOCATE ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA SINCE APRIL, SHE FOUND ME FINALLY IN JUNE, SHE HAD BEEN TRYING TO FIND ME TO LET ME KNOW THAT SHE HAD OVERDOSED IN A WALMART PARKING LOT, POLICE GAVE NARCAN AND IT DID NOT WORK, THEY PUNCHED HER IN CHEST TO GET RESPONSE UNTIL PARAMEDICS ARRIVED, THEY HAD TO REVIVE HER SHOCK HER 4 TIMES TO BE ABLE TO TRANSPORT TO HOSPITAL, MY CHILD WAS DEAD AND IM STRUGGLING WITH THAT, COME TO FIND OUT SHE HAS OVERDOSED 3 MORE TIMES SINCE THEN BUT WASNT AS SEVERE AS FIRST..I GRIEVE MY LIVING CHILD DAILY, THEY SAY SHE HAS TO HIT ROCK BOTTOM...ISNT DEATH ROCK BOTTOM..I AM LOST, I AM SAD, I AM PISSED..I GO FOR WEEKS AT A TIME TO KNOW SHE IS ALIVE AND THATS IF SHE SENDS OUT A SNAP TO SOMEONE I HAPPEN TO KNOW...IM SO TIRED OF WATCHING HER CHILDREN SUFFER WHEN SHE COMES TO MIND, WHICH IS LESS AND LESS..A FEW PEOPLE HAVE TOLD ME TO PREPARE FOR "THE CALL" HOW DO YOU EVER PREPARE??
  2. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Do you know where his mom lives?She has to be close to wherever that is.No unfortunately "Rock bottom "isn't always necessarily being brought back to life.It's hard to believe and I don't know how to make that make sense but I know only because I have been there once myself. I am so sorry for the worry that consumes you and I understand it, and unfortunately there are no words to ease that and there is no way a person can prepare for such a call.My heart hurts for you and your grandkids and just know that you can come here for support any time and the people in this community will provide nothing but sincere,caring responses.Your daughter is carrying around so much guilt she has stopped caring for herself and though I don't know you or her personally it's easy to figure that out with the story you have shared.You stated she is your oldest,how well does she communicate with her siblings?Maybe they can help you get in touch with her if they have contact.Your situation is heart breaking and I pray your daughter contact's you soon.I will respond again in a while as my mind is now racing trying to figure out how to help you. I am a recovering addict with 6 1/2 month's sober from meth,heroin, alcohol, etc and here in this community they have helped me so much.Stay Strong and God Bless you and your family
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 8, 2018
    yaya, deanokat and Dominica like this.
  3. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    Hello and welcome to the Forum. Thank you so much for reaching out. I am incredibly sorry for the pain that you are feeling. My heart hurts for you as well, as I am a mother of adult children and I cannot imagine what you must be going through. I really wish there was something I could say that would help you feel better. But I am very grateful that you have come here to share your story with us. We might not be able to make things better, but we promise to be here for you no matter what. You can come here and share anytime about anything. It must be a very heavy burden to carry for your daughter and your grandchildren. Bless your heart!

    Some people find it comforting to attend support groups like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon. With small children around this might not be ideal for you if babysitting is an issue. I don't think you could ever prepare yourself for the call. To a degree I can understand your concerns, as I go through various emotions as well regarding my own adult children. I do pray for them and somehow that gives me a little bit of comfort, but I just really try to go on living my life.

    I pray that a miracle can happen in your daughter's life, and that she'll be able to get the treatment that she needs and fully recover. I pray for you as well, that you can experience more peace and joy despite circumstances. Know that we are here for you anytime
    yaya likes this.
  4. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @yaya... Welcome to the community and thank you for sharing with us. I want you to know that my heart breaks for you because of the situation you're in with your daughter. I can't imagine the pain and suffering you are going through on a daily basis not knowing where your daughter is or how she's doing. And to answer your question, there is no way you can ever prepare for "the call."

    I wish I had a magic wand I could send you to fix everything. Unfortunately, having an addicted child is something that's incredibly difficult for a parent to deal with. I know, because my adult son has struggled with addiction for many years. Just know that what your daughter is going through is not your fault. Al-Anon and Nar-Anon teach us this about a loved one's addiction: You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it.

    You sound like an amazing woman. Having full custody of three young grandchildren is no small chore and I commend you for dedicating yourself to caring for those kids. They are very lucky to have you. Your daughter is lucky to have you, too, even though she may not realize it right now.

    I will keep you and your daughter and her babies in my thoughts and prayers.

    By the way, if you can somehow figure out where your daughter is, you may want to consider some sort of intervention. Maybe getting her family involved could help motivate her to get help. Maybe not, but it might be worth a try.

    Please, please, please know that we are here to help you and support you any way we can. If you need us, just come back and post here. We truly care and we will always listen.

    Sending you love, light, and hope. Lots and lots of hope.
    yaya and True concern like this.
  5. yaya

    yaya Member

    THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR KIND WORDS
  6. yaya

    yaya Member

    THANKS SO MUCH FOR LISTENING, I HAVE HEARD THIS MORNING SHE IS WANTED FOR STEALING A CAR AND IS NOW SELLING METH, HEROIN AND CRACK TO LIVE, AND THAT ALSO THERE ARE PEOPLE LOOKING TO KILL HER...IM BESIDE MYSELF
  7. yaya

    yaya Member

    she has 2 younger brothers, but she has blocked all contact with them as well
  8. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    This is heart breaking and I wish there was something I could say to ease your pain, I pray she seeks help on her own soon because it does sound like she is set on doing this alone.Im so sorry this is happening to you and everyone in your family.I will keep you all in my prayer's
    Dominica likes this.
  9. Julzygirl

    Julzygirl Active Contributor


    Omg! Your post has my eyes welled up in tears right now!!! I know that all of us are praying for your whole family!!! It's so horribly hard because you feel so helpless. I can feel it!
    I used to go through similar situations with my 30 year old son. Thank God I haven't received "the call" yet...(knock on wood) but those feelings I know well!!! Unfortunately rock bottom is different for everyone. It's a very personal ultimate hell one reaches within themselves where they feel that they have had enough. I can tell you that as long as there is breath in someone, there is hope!!! Believe me, your girl does not want this for herself! She is trapped in a hell that she probably doesn't understand how she can get out. She is sick and needs help.

    Obviously you are a strong amazing woman for having those kids! That's hard enough without the heartache and pain over not knowing what's going to happen to your daughter. But trust me, if she had any control of this, she would not want this. Nobody does. It's an illness and I pray that she is found and gets help!
    yaya, Dominica and True concern like this.
  10. yaya

    yaya Member

    thank you all for kind words, thoughts and prayers...I have had a bad few days, i have been doing some closet cleaning and come across all her christmas presents that has never been opened..my grand daughter who is oldest broke down with me...her pain and the pain of her brother's is so unbearable at times...i feel im being punished for something, no matter what good i do or how many pats on the back i get for raising children, my heart ache is so great at times it takes my breathe...i would give her my last breath to keep her alive for her children and her brothers...i do not find joy or happiness in anything anymore...
    Dominica likes this.
  11. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Your a beautiful soul @yaya and I am so sorry this is happening to you and those kids.Life sometimes deals us a hand that makes it feel like we are being punished and it makes it ever so hard to push forward but indeed we must do exactly that.You are amazing for taking on so much and making sure those kids are taken care of, I can feel your sincerity in the comment "I would give her my last breathe so she could be here for her kids"that is such a powerful description of love it has me tearing up and I just want to give you a huge tight hug and comfort you. I have no words to ease your pain and im so sorry for that,just know the lord above will not give a person more than they can handle which makes you one of the strongest people alive.I will keep you all in my prayer's. Stay Strong and God Bless you all
    deanokat and Dominica like this.
  12. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @yaya i wish there was something we could say that could help you feel better.... just know that we are here to extend an ear anytime..... we think you are an amazing woman, and we are praying for your daughter and those grandbabies!

    hugs!
    deanokat and True concern like this.
  13. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    I'm sorry you've had a few bad days, @yaya. I know it's difficult, but try to take super good care of yourself and those grandbabies. Those are the people you have control over. So make things as good as you can for you guys, okay?

    We are here for you. Praying for you. Sending you positive energy and strength. Always.
    Dominica and True concern like this.