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Negative Influences

Discussion in 'Sobriety Tips and Inspiration' started by E.Mil, Apr 29, 2015.

  1. E.Mil

    E.Mil Community Champion

    When trying to overcome an addiction I think that it is important to have people around you that influence you to stay on track and get better. Negative influences can sabotage the progress that you have made especially if you are not strong enough to resist temptation. When we have known people for a long time who influence us negatively, it is hard to cut someone out of our lives, especially those we love and care about. Have you had to cut someone out of your life so that you could improve and change your own life?
  2. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I've cut off a few people from my life but honestly it didn't have much to do with addiction as just keeping away toxic people in general. I think what people should be looking out for a lot more is for those people who seem supportive on the surface but upon closer inspection they really aren't very good for you, because it is often these types of people that are very dangerous to our own well being.
  3. E.Mil

    E.Mil Community Champion

    I know what kind of people you mean, they pretend that they are on your side but really want to see you in fail. I've had a few of those in my life.
  4. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    Yes, I had to completely cut all ties with my alcoholic parents in order to overcome my own alcohol addiction. I even had to move as far away as I could from their toxic influence on my life. I went to live on a different continent. It might sound extreme, but for me it was the only way to survive. I was physically and psychologically abused for many years, and it took me many years to recover. I still suffer from the spinal injuries that my parents inflicted on me.
  5. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    I think it's wise that we cut ties with negative influences, but let's face it, other people are not responsible for our actions. We should be responsible for what we do, but at the same time there is no need in making our job even harder.
  6. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    It's always good to surround yourself with positive people because they pull you up with them if they see you're in a lower place. Negative people love the company of negativity so they also pull people down with them. Crab mentality is something that should be avoided. I myself had to cut some people out of my life because of their negative impact on me. Now I'm in the company of positive people who have been continuously inspiring me through life.
  7. zaerine

    zaerine Community Champion

    Being surrounded with bad influences can really make it hard for you to change for the better. There are times that you will need to get rid or avoid some people in your life in order to live well and have a better life.
  8. kana_marie

    kana_marie Community Champion

    I've been on both sides of that. I have had to. It people out of my life because being around them is going to make me tempted. I've also been the one to get cut off. I didnt understand at the time, but now it makes perfect sense.
  9. imperivm1

    imperivm1 Community Champion

    I agree. Detaching yourself from the past also means losing touch with the ones who played some role in your downfall. Sometimes it isn't even personal. It's just something that has to be done in order for you to be able to move on with your life.
  10. FuZyOn

    FuZyOn Community Champion

    Yes, I had to cut some people out of my life. We weren't on the same terms (I wanted to get clean and responsible, they wanted to get high and wasted everyday because they didn't care).
    I made a very good decision in letting some persons go.
  11. kassie1234

    kassie1234 Community Champion

    Oh yes...I had to cut basically an entire friendship network. They were the sort of "friends" that were enablers, really. They would drink drink drink and not see anything wrong with it. Every morning was a hangover morning, but hey - lets fix the hangover with more alcohol, right? If you didn't have a drink in your hand when spending time with them, you might as well have been an alien with two heads. Sometimes it really is better to sever all contact with people like that. Sadly I realized that if people weren't going to be supportive, and in fact would just encourage addictive behaviors, then they weren't people I wanted or needed in my life.
  12. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    Of course I have. It's easy to cut someone out. Just don't call of talk to them. Easy as that. If you do see them and they ask you why? then just tell them you needed time to get healthy. If they don't understand or blow up, then you know that they don't really care about it, and you being around them was for their good and not yours. Time for you to do what's right for you.
  13. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    Yes and it's sometimes very difficult to tell them apart from those who are genuine because a part of us wants to believe that all people have good intentions towards us, unfortunately. I think it is these undercover people who we should look out for most of all because they are able to be toxic without you ever finding out.
  14. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    I haven't been in that situation yet wherein I had to cut ties with my friends. I have a lot of friends who smoke a lot and drink a lot, but their habits really don't affect me that much. I already know now how to set boundaries and limitations. Anyway, they're not pressuring me to do those things too, so we're all good.
  15. musicmonster

    musicmonster Senior Contributor

    Tell me who your friends are, and I'll tell you who you are. If you want to live a straight life, be with people who have straight lives. That simple.
  16. adfnio

    adfnio Community Champion

    There have been people in my life that are not the best to be around for me to get healthy. Those are old friends that sitll party and don't understand nor do they respect my decision to be sober. I just need to focus on me and not what they think. Right now it is about me and only me.
  17. 6up

    6up Community Champion

    We must live in the positive side of life, not as our friends want us to. We should learn to avoid anything that can make us get back to drinking or using drugs. We can avoid such friends by simply being busy somewhere whenever they want us.
  18. CallipygianGamine

    CallipygianGamine Community Champion

    I have definitely cut some bad influences out of my life, as well as people who only ever knew how to give a backhanded compliment. I used to have some trouble finding better influences to replace them with, which was a bit of a problem, but I’ve started making it a priority to do so. Being around good people can only enrich my life, which I could definitely do with at the moment.
  19. Sarah15

    Sarah15 Member

    Yes! There's no getting away from the fact that the people you surround yourself with are the people who directly influence you. Even if you think of these people as friends, they are themselves not strong enough to have your best interests at heart, so the cycle will continue as long as you keep seeing them.

    I've been on the receiving end of being cut out of others' lives too, when I was still drinking heavily. Some came back, and some we never saw again. At times when I've fallen off the wagon I went back to the group; regretfully, most of the same faces were still there and I think they always will be.

    So, yes, you really do have to get out of that company, and surround yourself with real friends who want to see you get better.
    sunflogun likes this.
  20. sunflogun

    sunflogun Community Champion

    I feel that if we want to recover we need to be smart and surround ourselves with people that can help us and if not help us at least people that don't drag us down. We don't need that weight, recovery is hard by itself.