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Neglected Upbringing

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by darkrebelchild, Mar 22, 2016.

  1. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    My sister in-law neglected her son when his father left her; I guess the child reminded her of him. She married someone else and loves her new kids. The first son who was neglected fell into drugs and was homeless at a time.
    A relative took him in and cleaned him up. He is now grown up, responsible and married. Now, the child of the new man is going in the same direction the neglected son went. His mother is frantic and is seeking help everywhere; what she refused to do for the first son.

    Do you think both mother and sons need counselling or we should just let karma have its way with her?
  2. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    People make mistakes. What she did [neglecting her son even though she didn't like his father] was wrong. But the other child shouldn't pay for the mistakes/sins of her mother. If you can help her then please do so. She could learn something from the kindness extended to her.
  3. Momma9

    Momma9 Community Champion

    It is very fortunate that her first son got help and turned out OK! I would be thankful that she is willing to help the other son. It sounds like the mother could definitely use counseling too. As I get older, I realize mistakes I made with my older children and try to do better with the younger ones. Hopefully she realizes now how important a mother's support is to a child in need. I would support her and do what I could to help out the situation.
  4. Belovedad

    Belovedad Active Contributor

    I never see the reason why mothers who put 50% into making their own babies decide to take out their frustration on them. It is probably karma following her but it's a life we're talking about so you should make them get counseling and make her reconcile with her first son. ( If she hasn't) Maybe he could talk some sense into the other.
  5. BradR

    BradR Member

    I'd definitely advise them to get counselling because it would be horrible if the new child was to become like what the other one was. I think it's great to see what has happened with the child who was neglected and that he's managed to become clean and sort his life out so I think with some counselling, the new child can sort out himself as well.
  6. explorerx7

    explorerx7 Senior Contributor

    Maybe should probably seek the help of the relative that helped her first son to rehabilitate. This may not be a pleasant task for her to do probably because of the circumstances surrounding the previous son's situation. The mother seems to be needing some intervention herself, therefore, if it means swallowing her pride, I would urge her to peruse all the avenues available in getting help for her and her son.
  7. smartmom

    smartmom Senior Contributor

    Life is full circle. What goes around, comes around. Life has a way of making us see our faults. I've never once in my life seen anyone get away with mistreating anyone. Especially their own child. I hate to sound like this but I sure would not fill sorry for her because how did her child feel when she kicked him to the curb? I really hope that the new son gets it together though because addiction destroys lives!!!
  8. smartmom

    smartmom Senior Contributor

    I would love to know what kind of real mother does this to her own child!
  9. bluesnow

    bluesnow Member

    Its terrible that she wasn't there for her first child, but I think the bigger issue is not Karma for the mother, but the help her child seems to need- he is the one really hurting.
    Counseling is almost always a good place to start, and hopefully this will open her eyes to her past mistakes.