Nephew in trouble

@Fish... Welcome to the community and thanks for sharing with us. I'm so sorry to hear about your nephew and his struggle with heroin. My son struggled with heroin, too, before finally getting clean almost 4 years ago. There's certainly no doubt that having a loved one who battles addiction is incredibly challenging.

Talking to your nephew was a great thing to do. And not being judgmental is certainly important. We need to talk to our addicted loved ones with empathy and love. Being confrontational, judgmental, or angry with them will just push them further away and give them more reasons to use. Unfortunately, though, if your nephew doesn't want to seek help, there's not a whole lot you can do. The only person who can decide to fix your nephew's problem is your nephew. Period.

I'd like to recommend a fabulous book to you. It's called Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change. It's written specifically for partners and loved ones of addicts and it's full of great information. It teaches you how to communicate with your loved one, how to help motivate them to want to change, and how to take care of yourself while you're trying to help. I think you could really benefit from reading the book. I talk a little bit more about it in this blog post I wrote not too long ago:

6 Essential Books for Those with an Addicted Loved One

I will keep you and your nephew in my thoughts and prayers. Please know that you can come here anytime you need help or support. You are not alone.

@Fish... You and your sister should both read that Beyond Addiction book. I guarantee it will help you. I suspect your sister would also benefit greatly from reading Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. You guys have to realize that you can't become addicted to his addiction. If you do, everyone will suffer. You and your sister have to be well so that you can support your nephew. It's like they tell you on an airliner before you take off: If something happens, put your own oxygen mask on first before trying to help someone else. It's the same thing in this situation. You have to be well or you won't be able to help others.

I'll keep praying for you guys.

@Fish... You need to sit down with your sister and have a heart-to-heart talk with her. Tell her that you're concerned about her health and well-being. Tell her that she has to be well and in a right state of mind in order to be supportive of her son. Talk to her with love and compassion, and maybe suggest that she see her doctor about her situation. I'm sorry you're going through this, my friend. Sending you and your family positive vibes.

Anytime, @Fish. Anytime at all.

@Fish... Just wondering how things are going. Check in and let us know if you get a chance.