Never ending

I have been using cocaine and MDMA almost constantly for the past 3 years. I'm currently on my 7th day with no sleep, food or water. Just coke.
I won't bore u with the details but I have an awful lot of mental problems, I tried to take my own life 2 weeks ago and so my drug usage went from just the weekend to almost everyday .. because it makes me feel happy! I know it's not real and only temporary but it's better than nothing, just a bit of relief from the horrible things in my head.
In a way, coke is the only thing keeping me going and feeling normal ... so how can I ever stop? I feel like I'm beyond help

Are you still awake? If you're there respond so I can talk to you

Please share the details, you wont be boring anyone

I'm always awake

Maybe today instead of focusing your energy on bad substances, you can distract yourself with writing. We’d all love to hear the details, it would in no way bore any of us. I find writing in a safe place to be very therapeutic. I think I will write a new post today as well!

@Cherry23 I usually respond in great length but at this time I don't know much beyond you have a mound of cocaine that would make scarface jealous. I know a few thing's beyond that from common sense as I use to stay awake...well 1 time I saw 2 full moon's and two separate month's before I went to sleep and by that time I was so paranoid I was like a noise cat perched on a window ledge peeking out the blinds every 3 seconds or so,I can laugh at me now but seriously im assuming you are EXTREMELY depressed considering you tried to take your own life 2 week's ago and that makes me sad,I want to get to know you, know why your sad,know what makes you happy,I want to hear about you.I have been where you are,I have felt sadness the way you feel it.When I first came to this site I cried for over 2 month's, everytime I shared a little more I cried. I used drug's from the age of 6 year's old(Ritalin)"Legal meth"and eventually moved to meth and heroin and oxycontin and.....well you get the point.I lost my wife,kids,home,everything including my own self worth and self respect.I was pronounced dead once OD'ed more times than I can remember, I tried to encourage other's to kill me at one point in time threw various methods and i don't know if this is something I should be telling you or not but im telling you these thing's because I CARE ABOUT YOU!!Anyways I came to this site in pure misery and spilled my heart to these people of this community and to my surprise they cared,supported,encouraged,motivated me,etc and i am 7 month's sober today minus the meds my Dr has me on until I have surgery and they make me feel like a hypocrite especially after saying today is 7 month's....I will explain that to you if you care to know and infact I will share my story with you if it will comfort you and help you to open up a bit.My story is a very hurtful,toxic,scary,unhealthy story which explains some very hurtful details about my struggle but if you care to read it please reply and let us in a little bit so we can try to help each other...Please.Stay Strong and God Bless

Thank you, im digging the emoji collage...not sure why but they make me smile