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Never ending

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Cherry23, Aug 18, 2018.

  1. Cherry23

    Cherry23 Member

    I have been using cocaine and MDMA almost constantly for the past 3 years. I'm currently on my 7th day with no sleep, food or water. Just coke.
    I won't bore u with the details but I have an awful lot of mental problems, I tried to take my own life 2 weeks ago and so my drug usage went from just the weekend to almost everyday .. because it makes me feel happy! I know it's not real and only temporary but it's better than nothing, just a bit of relief from the horrible things in my head.
    In a way, coke is the only thing keeping me going and feeling normal ... so how can I ever stop? I feel like I'm beyond help
    True concern likes this.
  2. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Are you still awake? If you're there respond so I can talk to you
    deanokat likes this.
  3. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Please share the details, you wont be boring anyone
    lonewolves and deanokat like this.
  4. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    @Cherry23 hello there. welcome to this forum. you ask how you can stop. what have you tried? have your tried seeing an addiction therapist? detox? rehab? (inpatient or outpatient), support groups, medications, etc? just wonder what you've tried.

    recovery is possible. treatment is possible, but it takes hard ass work no doubt. coming here and sharing is a first step. that many days no sleep, water, food, is very dangerous.... bless your heart. i'd say go check yourself in at the hospital immediately so they can help you and your body get some nourishment and sleep.

    i hope you're sleeping, but if you're up, please write us back today. we really do care about you.
    deanokat and True concern like this.
  5. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Cherry23... We're here for you, my friend. You can beat this addiction. And I think going to an ER would be the best possible thing you could do for yourself at this point. You need to have your fluids replenished and be checked out by medical professionals. Please consider doing that, okay? And know that you can lean on us for help, support, advice, and encouragement. Praying for you.
    True concern and lonewolves like this.
  6. Cherry23

    Cherry23 Member

    I'm always awake
    True concern likes this.
  7. lonewolves

    lonewolves Community Champion

    Maybe today instead of focusing your energy on bad substances, you can distract yourself with writing. We’d all love to hear the details, it would in no way bore any of us. I find writing in a safe place to be very therapeutic. I think I will write a new post today as well!
    True concern and deanokat like this.
  8. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    @Cherry23 I usually respond in great length but at this time I don't know much beyond you have a mound of cocaine that would make scarface jealous. I know a few thing's beyond that from common sense as I use to stay awake...well 1 time I saw 2 full moon's and two separate month's before I went to sleep and by that time I was so paranoid I was like a noise cat perched on a window ledge peeking out the blinds every 3 seconds or so,I can laugh at me now but seriously im assuming you are EXTREMELY depressed considering you tried to take your own life 2 week's ago and that makes me sad,I want to get to know you, know why your sad,know what makes you happy,I want to hear about you.I have been where you are,I have felt sadness the way you feel it.When I first came to this site I cried for over 2 month's, everytime I shared a little more I cried. I used drug's from the age of 6 year's old(Ritalin)"Legal meth"and eventually moved to meth and heroin and oxycontin and.....well you get the point.I lost my wife,kids,home,everything including my own self worth and self respect.I was pronounced dead once OD'ed more times than I can remember, I tried to encourage other's to kill me at one point in time threw various methods and i don't know if this is something I should be telling you or not but im telling you these thing's because I CARE ABOUT YOU!!Anyways I came to this site in pure misery and spilled my heart to these people of this community and to my surprise they cared,supported,encouraged,motivated me,etc and i am 7 month's sober today minus the meds my Dr has me on until I have surgery and they make me feel like a hypocrite especially after saying today is 7 month's....I will explain that to you if you care to know and infact I will share my story with you if it will comfort you and help you to open up a bit.My story is a very hurtful,toxic,scary,unhealthy story which explains some very hurtful details about my struggle but if you care to read it please reply and let us in a little bit so we can try to help each other...Please.Stay Strong and God Bless
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2018
    Dominica, deanokat and lonewolves like this.
  9. Dominica

    Dominica Recovery Advocate @ Moving Beyond Codependency Community Listener

    True concern and deanokat like this.
  10. True concern

    True concern Moderator

    Thank you, im digging the emoji collage...not sure why but they make me smile:confused:o_O
    deanokat likes this.