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New on here. My story

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by Hopeful32, Apr 14, 2016.

  1. Hopeful32

    Hopeful32 Member

    I'm a mother of three children. I go to work and take care of my kids and convince myself I'm normal but I have an opiate addiction. I've had this for almost six years and have quit during my pregnancies but can't seem to kick the demon on my shoulder completely. My birthday was on Monday and I just found out my boyfriend of years has been cheating on me. He blames it on my substance abuse problem. Going to church helps. I'm just at a really low place and trying to stay sober but my comfort especially after anything hurtful or traumatic happens is pills. I need to be sober for my kids and myself. I feel I've completely lost myself between being an addict and being in a very unhealthy relationship. Here to talk and see if it helps. I've gotten to the point I don't confide in anyone. Just pretending to be normal but deep inside I just keep praying for god to give me strength.
  2. LoveEcho

    LoveEcho Community Champion

    Hello, welcome to the forums. We're here for you, to listen and give you advice.

    I'm a fellow mother and a former opioid addict, you're not alone in this battle. I understand how difficult opioid addiction is and how hard it is to overcome, both physically and mentally. I'm sorry your boyfriend cheated on you, but just know that your addiction is not an excuse for his actions. You did not force him, he chose to cheat. You do what is best for you and your children, and that is get clean. If you can check into an outpatient rehabilitation program... that way you don't have live there and can still come home to your children. If you can't do that for whatever reason, maybe consider a local support group. It could help a lot.

    I wish you the best of luck and God Bless!
    Mara, deanokat and MrsJones like this.
  3. Hopeful32

    Hopeful32 Member

    Thanks for listening. I've never taken the first step and going to an outpatient program but I'm ready. Did find this was a must to stay sober?
    MrsJones likes this.
  4. darkrebelchild

    darkrebelchild Community Champion

    Welcome @Hopeful32 , I want to encourage you that this is a place to talk without anyone judging you. Feel free, talk about your weaknesses and your steps to stay clean.

    Meditate more as this can help you stay on the right track. Forget the cheating relationship and move on, you deserve better; he couldn't help you stay clean so he gave himself an excuse to cheat which makes him a loser.

    You are a good person who deserves good things; start by dissociating yourself from your dealer and save the money instead. Exercise and keep busy.

    Wishing you the best.
  5. Hopeful32

    Hopeful32 Member

    Thank for the support. Sharing this and getting support is honestly helping tremendously. Trying to stay positive is hard when it feels like the one person who you loved and trusted hurt you. And just reading other spouses stories and how they felt and dealt. This doesn't excuse my addiction but I realize now that's it's not my fault my boyfriend cheated and even if I'm an addict. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I haven't been to talk anyone about this since it happened and this helping. I know joining an out patient program is next step. Thank you everyone for just listening. God bless
  6. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    @Hopeful32, welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story with us. I agree with @darkrebelchild and @LoveEcho about your ex boyfriend that it was his choice and for you to move ahead with your life. I do pray that you do find someone to support you on your journey to recovery though, family, friends. Just remember that we will be here hopefully as a cornerstone to building a healthier, new and sober life.
    deanokat likes this.
  7. L_B

    L_B Community Champion

    Welcome to the forum. I am glad that you found us here. We are here to help you and support you in any way that you can. Realizing that you have a problem and you need help in the first big step. You got this. I believe you can do it! You have your children who depend on you and need you to be healthy and clean. Wishing you all the best in your recovery.
    Hopeful32, MrsJones and deanokat like this.
  8. Mara

    Mara Community Champion

    Hello @Hopeful32 and welcome to the community. I'm glad that you're here and I am glad that you trust us enough to share your story with us. I'm really sorry that you are going through a tough time right now. But trust me when I say that it will pass, sooner that you think. You just have to make it happen. Take control of your life and do not let your addiction take over. Do it for your kids and for yourself. You've done it before and you can surely do so again.

    I wish you all the best. Sending you positive vibes. :)
    Hopeful32, MrsJones and deanokat like this.
  9. Jani_pikki

    Jani_pikki Member

    Welcome, @Hopeful32!

    Thanks for sharing your story! You can be proud of yourself for taking such a big step, sharing your story and being on this forum. Talking always helps to unload alot of emotion. Here you will find so much support.

    Wishing you the best
    Hopeful32, MrsJones and deanokat like this.
  10. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    @Hopeful32... Welcome to the community and kudos to you for taking the first step toward changing your life for the better. Coming here and talking about your problem is a courageous start to your recovery journey. We are here to help and support you any way we can, so feel free to reach out anytime. You are not alone, my friend.

    You can get clean and stay clean if you set the goal, focus on it, and are willing to work hard to achieve it. It won't be easy, but it will be incredibly worth it. You will be healthier and happier, and it will be a wonderful thing for your children.

    Outpatient treatment would be a great next step. I also recommend NA or SMART Recovery meetings. You may also want to consider seeing an addiction specialist. They can assess your situation and recommend the best action steps for you to get better.

    Remember: We're here for you. We truly care and will never judge you. You can achieve a life without the "crutch" of opiates, and we're behind you 100 percent.

    Sending you peace, hugs, and clean & sober vibes.
    Mara and MrsJones like this.
  11. kgord

    kgord Community Champion

    HI Hopeful, and it is fantastic you have come to this forum. You know you have a problem and truly that is the first step to solving it. I know you can stay clean,it may take some effort on your par but you can do it. It sounds like you are pretty functional in your life right now, so I think looking for outpatient therapy may be the way to go in your case and meetings like dean suggested. Hugs and God Bless!
    Hopeful32 and MrsJones like this.
  12. djolem

    djolem Senior Contributor

    Welcome to the forum. I haven't had any experience in this addiction whatsoever but I know addiction in general and I heard about this one being strong and hard. Nevertheless, I believe that you can do it because you have your children to take care off and to love. They should be your motivation. You should think about them and about some what if situations and I think that would help you in your recovery. People here are always happy to give a good advice, I know that for a fact.
    Hopeful32 and MrsJones like this.
  13. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    Hi there and welcome to the forum. So sorry to hear you are dealing with such a huge disappointment right now :( Dealing with a break up or potential break up is always hard. I hope you can find the strength to fight this addiction during such a low time, if you ever need to talk please let us know. We are here to listen to you and help you as much as we can.
    MrsJones likes this.
  14. bhu

    bhu Active Contributor

    Welcome to the forum. You're in the right place. You're among friends who are ready to listen. We know what you're going through. We're also glad to share our own experiences and what has worked and seems to be working for us. You're free to take what you like and leave the rest. Tell us what's on your mind and how we can help. Ask questions, we'll try to answer as best we can.
    MrsJones likes this.
  15. Hopeful32

    Hopeful32 Member

    Thanks for the support. Knowing there is light at the end of tunnel and others have gotten through is motivating. I'm really glad a joined the forum. Sometimes just talking helps. Thank you for your support
  16. Hopeful32

    Hopeful32 Member

    Thank you! And thank you for the recommendation for treatment help. I've tried doing without but I know I need the extra help. I'm looking into the two groups mentioned NA and Smart. I have insurance but I'm little worried because I don't want anything to get back to my job. God bless.
  17. puneeth8994

    puneeth8994 Active Contributor

    Welcome to the forum.......:D
    As long as you stay motivated and set a clear goal, you can easily reach it.......
  18. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    Both NA and SMART Recovery are no-cost support groups where you can keep your anonymity. Check them out.
  19. Fyrion

    Fyrion Active Contributor

    Good evening. If you managed to stay sober during your pregnancy, you can achieve it again right now. So sorry for that breakdown due to finding out your boyfriend's cheating. And is very awful that He is using your issue as an excuse for his misdeed. Try to focus for the love of your children and don't give him undeserved attention.
  20. ReadmeByAmy

    ReadmeByAmy Community Champion

    @Hopeful32 Hello and thank you for sharing your story to us here in this forum! Before anybody else love yourself and your children first. Do not focus too much on your failed relationship and you deserve someone better than your boyfriend who is a cheater. Just move on with your life and make your children as your inspiration to change and to make your life better. Wishing you the best of luck! :)
    Hopeful32 and deanokat like this.