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Nightmares have returned

Discussion in 'Share Your Story Here' started by True concern, Nov 30, 2018.

  1. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    In the beginning of this journey and even before I was having very vivid nightmares, I call them nightmares but I guess maybe it could be called something else, I am not dreaming of insanely graffic, bloody thing's rather thing's which are out of my control such as the well being of other's. Perhaps the uncertainty with my granddaughter has my subconscious playing tricks on me,but this week has been unique in various ways all very emotional for myself and it's getting to the point where I am thinking at time's "Is this a message or a sign"I believe in God so I believe thing's such as this do happen from time to time.Yesterday started with a little girl and a little boy my sister plays with knocking on the door to ask if I would take them to school(It was pouring rain)and the parents were at work,the odd part for me is I have never met either parent in over 1 year so I asked to meet their mom first,the little girl told me that couldn't happen right now because she wasn't home so I asked to meet whatever adult was watching them and found out there are no adults that watch them and the first one gets home around 10 p.m.This upset me because well I now worry about them being safe,anyways I took them all to school and brought them home,they go to the same school my sister does and they have the same schedule. After that I went to the grocery store with my mom and outside after shopping there was a man collecting for the salvation army, I literally had only 1 dollar but I gave it to the man and he said "Thank you for helping me stay sober 14 year's today"I stopped in a state of confusion and asked "How have I helped you stay sober 14 year's?"He responded "You're gratitude giving your only dollar to help other's makes this 14 year mark today extra special and I know I will make it through the day sober"I said "Your very welcome" as I started to walk away he said "I was addicted for over 33 year's and today I am sober 14 you got this just take it one day at a time"I then turned and talked to him for a few minutes about addiction but I had not told him about my addiction's prior to his statement. Late into the night my mind raced and I decided I needed to pray,I pray every night but last night I prayed like it was my last day on earth...and then once I fell asleep I had tormenting nightmares all night,I don't want to describe the nightmares because they terrified me and still as I type they felt more like an out of body experience than a dream and I feel crazy even saying that part.I don't know what is happening to me at this time in my life all I really know is I continue to dig deep within and maybe I need a break,maybe I am mentally exhausted or something...I can't be sure. Anyways again I apologize I know my threads alone probably become exhausting as I often time's just spill my thoughts...Anyways I pray you all have wonderful day's.STAY STRONG AND GOD BLESS
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2018
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  2. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @True concern i think that's wonderful that the man knew about your addiction...and that you gave to a good cause. maybe God is giving you messages... you ARE on the right path... even as confusing as it is at times. the more we pay attention...the more we'll be given..the more God will reveal.

    dream time. from my understanding, some dreams are us working out our "issues" that have been unlocked deep in the subconscious.... some are just dreams...don't mean a thing really. others... well, they are more spiritual in nature. i started reading about lucid dreaming...that stuff is very interesting!! lol

    nightmares. not sure what our good men freud or jung would say... you could be working out some of your emotions there in dream time... which might feel scary, but it's a good thing to work them out!!

    i'm going to think about this more...and get back to you. i have my grandson (and have all night), so i'm sleep deprived and busy... haha but oh, he is such a delight!!!
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  3. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Enjoy that grandchild
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  4. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    I think @Dominica's response is way more intelligent than anything I could tell you, @True concern. FWIW, I've been having weird dreams the last week or so, too. Some of them have been night terrors, which I've had from time to time my whole life. I always scare the hell out of the whole house when I wake up in the middle of the night screaming at the top of my lungs. Ha.

    You have a lot going on in your head right now, and I'm sure that contributes to what we dream. And that dream you describe was, I think, beautiful (except for those kids not being watched by an adult).

    Never feel like you have to apologize for posting anything here, Arthur. That's what we're here for: To help people. And if spilling your thoughts here helps you, then we're doing exactly what we're here for. Trust me, my brother...Your posts are not exhausting.

    Happy Friday, my friend!
  5. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @True concern @deanokat that's the thing... i love it when people come here and post real and raw stuff... LIFE... even some things we never dare tell another soul face to face... and not have to face judgment.
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  6. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Ya I did get off track in this post lol,the grocery store incident really happened and the little girl and boy asking for a ride really happened as well,after I re read it I see where it appears I am describing both those thing's as the dreams but no those 2 thing's were part of my day awake,the dream I didn't describe at all I just started the post with that because the dream honestly scared theshit out of me,and ya it's true the little girl and boy don't have much adult supervision ever because both parent's are working so much just to be able to survive so now that I know this I'm constantly telling them "It's dark outside, you should go home and lock the door until a parent comes home"....but I have no clue who the parent's are or what they look like
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  7. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    @True concern... I hope you slept well last night, without any nightmares.
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  8. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I over slept...I just woke up,No nightmares :)
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  9. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Boo for oversleeping (unless you needed the extra sleep).
    Yay for no nightmares!!!!

    How did last night go?
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  10. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Last night I was very restless,I couldn't shut my thoughts off,all night I thought about my plans when I start my first day of work(over ambitious thoughts) very unrealistic thoughts but they wouldn't stop.I overslept the other day I think because my subconscious (relaxed)As I had just found out that day I would be going back to work as a top player and I was relieved to know I can soon take care of some financial thing's that I haven't been able to take care of this past year. No nightmares last night,still haven't heard anything about my granddaughter so that feels like a nightmare and I just want to hear she's ok.
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  11. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    I want to hear that your granddaughter is okay, too, Arthur. Truly.
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  12. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Thank you, I have tried to call and find out but I can't get anyone to answer or return my call...last I heard was Thursday afternoon so I pray my wife or stepdaughter calls me to at least give me an update but I probably won't hear anything until Monday they are always busy on the weekend's and they get aggravated if I call on weekend's so I just have to wait but who knows maybe they will call today,Lord knows I would be grateful
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  13. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Hey, @True concern... Thinking about you this morning and hoping things are okay with you. Just want you to know that I care about you, brother.
  14. lonewolves

    lonewolves Community Champion

    Hope you get a good nights sleep!
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  15. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I'm ok just very busy trying to get thing's in order to start work again
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  16. deanokat

    deanokat DrugAbuse.com Community Organizer Community Listener

    Whew! Good to hear that, Arthur!! I have to admit, I'm pretty excited about you starting work again. I think it's going to be a great thing for you! :D
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  17. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Thank you,I don't know why but my dreams have been just virtual reality insane so ya I don't sleep well....but I try:)
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  18. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    I pray so,I just finished the last of my pre work employment screening, "A hair drug test"today so I guess it all hinges on that..I should pass it as far as I know assuming I haven't done so much dope throughout the year's that it's still stored but I will know soon enough
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  19. Dominica

    Dominica Author, Writer, Recovery Advocate Community Listener

    @True concern a hair drug test. wow. that's pretty interesting!! i know going back to work may bring on some anxiety, but you'll also feel good about getting out there in productive mode again. :) and, you'll get to shine that big, bright light onto others ;)
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  20. True concern

    True concern Community Champion

    Ya.I am grateful that I am receiving this opportunity...it is my first hair test ever but it is because I am not being hired as entry level rather upper management which comes with more money,responsability,key's,and I will only have 2 bosses above me and 1 of the 2 is everyone's boss within the company.Interesting they didn't even check for marijuana even though it's against company policy...if it's meant to be it will be,if not I will try somewhere else but they definitely want me and a background check and drug test are the only thing's in my way right now
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