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No Sympathy for drug addicts?

Discussion in 'General Substance Abuse Discussion' started by showthelifesint, Jun 17, 2015.

  1. Am I cold? I feel as if someone is stupid enough to get addicted to crack,cocaine,meth,etc., that they should not be pitied, unless the person was absolutely ignorant of what the negative consequences maybe.
  2. Totalarmordestine

    Totalarmordestine Senior Contributor

    I don't even want to associate with people that have been drug addicts because I have a hard time believing they will ever change. After reading everyone else commenting on here I would like to add that I have had what I consider to be a horrible life. I was abused in every way possible by both of my parents and siblings, kids at school would tease me and actually cause physical injury to me, teachers didn't care. I was a good kid. I always had a conscience and knew that even though I felt like it was hopeless to live I did my homework every day without being told because I had no parents to even tell me what was right and wrong. My mom threw me out when I was 13. She sent me to live with other family members who didn't even have hot water to bathe in, there were mice and mice **** everywhere. The place was filthy. I told them I had to leave. I got passed around from one bad situation to another and finally I ended up getting pregnant and and THATS when my mom decided to step back into my life just so she could tell me that I can't raise a child. I didn't listen. I had my baby, went to school still, I lived in a house on my own by then and and to walk to and from school every day WITH my child. I graduated early. I always had everyone telling me that I could never do it. I had no family support, no friends, just me and my baby. When I look back on my life and all the abuse I suffered through, I am still not over it. I still get so angry and cry A LOT! I feel like I am completely alone in this world and when my bills are piling up I have to go without just so I can keep a roof over my head and my children's heads. And once again I'd like to add, with the way I have be treated and just discarded by everyone who should have cared about me, I think to myself "how did I do this? Why am I not a homeless drug addict? I'm not strong. I always cry." I have DEEP DEEP depression, I was diagnosed with Bi-polar, which I don't agree with. I have fibromyalgia and I am always in pain. I don't take medication for depression or pain management because I don't like the side effects and mom my is addicted to pills. This is how I can have NO sympathy for drug addicts
  3. tarverten

    tarverten Senior Contributor

    IMO, certain people are more genetically inclined to addictive behaviors from anything to sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. Everyone does however make their own choices. And also, it can sometimes only take one time of someone trying something for them to become addicted. Most of the time there are psychological problems like depression that lead to making stupid decisions that end up turning people into "addicts." I used to think the same way you did, until this happened to a loved one and I made an effort to become more educated on what people are feeling and why they make these decisions so that I could help this person turn the tables and be on their side to show support. This is like a disease, it's not just a decision and there are more things that need to be addressed rather than just treatment for the addiction but also psychological treatment. You don't need to pity anyone, they realize they made the mistake but support for a person making the effort and seeking help is necessary because it shows that people do care that a person is suffering on the inside.
    Peachtree and Soulsearcher like this.
  4. blastguardgear

    blastguardgear Senior Contributor

    The only sympathies I have are to younger kids. A lot of times they get roped in by others and "only do it once." But soon enough they're addicted. I pity them a lot because its a shame that they're probably going to OD or go broke buying drugs when they could be so successful and happy. I don't however have any sympathy for adults or kids who know the consequences and do it anyway.
  5. thepieeatingjay

    thepieeatingjay Senior Contributor

    For me, it depends on certain factors.

    Some people do it to themselves. We know that very well. But there are other cases where people are/were forced into it.

    I've seen multiple stories over the years about people getting kidnapped and drug. So if that happened to someone and they ended up becoming and addict, how could you NOT feel sympathy for them?
    Joshstillclean and True concern like this.
  6. shadowsupernature

    shadowsupernature Senior Contributor

    I used to be a drug addict, mostly to heroin and meth. I don't want any pity for anything I've done or been through because of it, but I do like to have understanding from people. If not actual understanding, then at least enough understanding to accept that they don't understand. No one else knows my reasons for doing drugs, what my life has been like or how it feels to be me, because they aren't me, and that goes for every addict and sober person in the world. If you're stable enough for drugs to not be as appealing to you as they were to me, that's great, but you might have some advantages over me and other addicts, too. Whatever ignorance or disadvantages they might have had when they got addicted, though, nobody really deserves what drugs can put you through.
  7. gracer

    gracer Community Champion

    I think it depends though. We have to learn the reasons for their decision to abuse drugs before we decide whether to pity them or not. Some do get addicted because they just felt like it but some get addicted due to much deeper reasons. Some people feel like they have nowhere to turn to but drugs. Some use drugs to tell you that they need help and attention. Not all drug addicts should be sympathized but not all drug addicts should be mocked either. :)
    True concern likes this.
  8. Cheeky_Chick

    Cheeky_Chick Community Champion

    I think it can be very hard to understand what it feels like to be an addict unless you've been there. People don't usually start out in the gutter - it can be something quite innocent that gets gradually worse, and addiction can kick in before you really understand that it's happening. Also, the mental state that addicts may be in could be worsened if people are negative towards them - so although you don't have to show sympathy if you don't want to, I would urge you to try and at least stay silent if you cannot help them in a positive way. Any slight negative comment could have a huge negative effect on their recovery.
  9. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    You can't just generalise and say that every drug addict is the same, you don't know the reasons they have got into that situation in the first place.

    You might not want to know a person who is dependant on sleeping pills and then turns to drink and eventually an alcoholic, you might think they're a waste of time and effort. But then what if you found out they had been hit by a drunk driver and their wife and child had been killed? They couldn't get over the trauma and even though they was asking for help, sleeping pills where the only thing that got offered? They turn to alcohol because it's the only thing that makes them block out what happened in their life.

    Is that person still not worth helping or bothering with? Until you know the specific circumstances, I wouldn't judge anybody else.
  10. Rainman

    Rainman Community Champion

    You never should judge any drug addict because you don't know what they've been through. What forced them to drugs. Why they are unable or unwilling to stop abusing the drugs. There are many reasons why people start using drugs. For example, someone who has lost a job, then loses someone they love may seek out ways to deal with the pain. They may start drinking alcohol and get addicted. Would it not be right to have some sympathy for such a person since you know of their loss? While I must admit that using drugs to escape reality is no solution I can pity someone who uses drugs because they think they have no choice and can stand by them and try to help them embrace change.
    Havasu99 and missbishi like this.
  11. deanokat

    deanokat Community Organizer Community Listener

    I have to say that @tarverten's comment is pretty much spot on. While the decision to try drugs or alcohol for the very first time is a choice, what happens after that is oftentimes out of their hands.

    Addicts become addicted because their brains are wired differently. Unlike most people who may drink a beer or smoke a joint or snort a line of cocaine and not have their lives turned upside down because of it, addicts' brains behave differently. Once they experience that first high, their brains start screaming, "Give me more! Give me more!"

    The screaming is just too loud to ignore. Addicts lose the power of choice and are overcome by the power of addiction. If I've said it once, I've said it ten thousand times: nobody wants to be an addict. It just happens. When addicts tried drugs or alcohol for the first time, they were part of a cruel game of "Russian Roulette," and they lost; and addiction was the bullet in the chamber.

    @showthelifesint... I obviously don't know you, but if I'm being totally honest I have to say that your post is kind of cold. To say that you have no sympathy for addicts is a little unsettling. And to call them "stupid" is, in my opinion, just plain ignorant. Addiction has nothing to do with how smart someone is or isn't. There are brilliant, intelligent people who become addicted to drugs every single day.

    I'm wondering what your experience is with addiction. Have you ever been addicted? Has someone you love(d) ever been addicted? If not, I can pretty much guarantee that you'd do a complete 180 on your opinion if you or someone you love(d) were struggling with addiction. As the father of a 25-year-old son who is coming up on three years of sobriety after seven years of addiction...that's just my $0.02.
    Joseph and missbishi like this.
  12. MyDigitalpoint

    MyDigitalpoint Community Champion

    I have learned one thing in life and this is accepting people as they are; poor people, addicted people, black people, any people regardless their race, religious beliefs, sexual preferences, social status or condition, physical appearance, disabilities, problems they are struggling with, and so on.

    I don't tolerate the people that is intolerant when seeing an addicted person is coming and cross the street to avoid him/her. Yes, a person under the effects of alcohol, a drug or other substance is a person that you may not know how is going to react, and yet still pass along with not much worry, and much less if the person is sober but known for an addiction past time.

    No need to show them off disapproval because, who gave them authority to judge others?

    Problem here is not about sympathy or antipathy for drug addicts, but the associate censoring part those individuals play when expressing their disgust for addicted people.
    Joshstillclean and missbishi like this.
  13. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    I have a question for all the people who have posted saying they feel no sympathy for drug addicts. My question is this: You do know that this is a substance abuse support forum, don't you? This is a place where those who are struggling with addiction, of any kind, can come for support. I think there is little value in a thread intended to berate people.
  14. bluedressed

    bluedressed Community Champion

    This is more than cold. It's ignorant, narrow-minded, and unhelpful. It has been studied and documented that most addicts become addicts because of circumstances, notably low socioeconomical status (and this about becoming addicted, not about using; richer people also use a ton of drugs, they just have better support and opportunities, so they don't become addicts stuck in downward spirals, for the most part) AND trauma in early life.

    Some people will make the choice to turn to drugs and alcohol when they should know better. Sometimes, they even are aware of where it could bring them -- and they are fine with gambling their life. But a lot of times, mechanisms outside of our awareness work for us, or against us. Some people are luckier than others. You probably know people who get drunk and who can control it because their life is tidy enough to manage. And that's good. But there is no pride to have in judging addicted people without trying to understand. Mercy is a quality. Especially if they look for help and support; you might have condemned them in your mind, but even if they "want heroin", they don't want to want it (second degree desire and all). That still counts. That shows they are human, reaching out, conflicted, all that. Nobody forces you to help them, but like the poster above mentions - it's a support forum. Not quite the place to draw such harsh condemning lines, quite opposite; it's the place to reach out and understand better. So, maybe you should try that, instead of looking for confirmation.
  15. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    Well said and that was the point I was eluding to. People are quick to judge these days, and especially on a forum like this, that's here to help, I'm not completely sure it's the right place to be saying that.

    Everybody is entitled to their own opinion of course, I just think there's a time and a place to voice it. And I certainly don't think this is the right place.
    missbishi likes this.
  16. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    Well, I have a lot of sympathy for drug addicts. Nobody is born to become a substance abuser. Nobody wants to suffer. A majority of people get addicted to substances in order to numb or escape their inner pain, intolerable situations, stress, and so on. There are endless reasons for taking up drugs. And, yes, everyone around a substance abuser will be affected by his or her behavior. It's inevitable. I had to learn from an early age what it means to be the daughter of abusive alcoholics, and whilst I was never able to find compassion in my heart for my parents, I had a certain sympathy for the way their illness affected them. For me substance abusers are people who are afflicted either mentally or spiritually, and who need guidance to find their way back to themselves.
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2015
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  17. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    A warm welcome to you Showthelifeint.
    the feeling of sorrow and compassion caused by the suffering and misfortunes of others.
    "her voice was full of pity"
    synonyms:compassion, commiseration, condolence, sympathy, fellow feeling,understanding;".

    If this is the definition we are going with, I pity the addicted person. In fact, I generally pity all humans and likewise want to be pitied.

    Showthelifeint, please show some compassion to your fellowman, rich or poor, black or white, addicted or disinclined. I don't know you are cold. I reckon you might just be "ignorant" to what addiction really is and the variables that are at work in an addict's life. This forum is the right place for you as it will educate you to the lives of real people many if not all of whom have made some "stupid" mistakes in their lives. Show me the person here or elsewhere who hasn't. Many addicts have been victims of their circumstances and for those I feel deep "sorrow and compassion". Thanks to forums such as this one, many have been helped. Sadly, not all addicts respond to the help they are provided with, but I personally still hold out hope for them.

    So are you cold? I think not. I just think you need to come back to us with more questions and comments about these posts, always expressing what's truly in your heart. In the spirit of love I invite you to keep posting and learning .
    Havasu99 likes this.
  18. Damien Lee

    Damien Lee Community Champion

    While I'm not here to judge you, I do think it's rather callous not to feel sorry for folks that are addicted to drugs. By no means am I insinuating that you're a terrible person or anything of the sort. It's just that drug abuse has negative consequences for both the abusers and the rest of society. We have to realize that we're all in this together whether we like it or not. Having some compassion toward substance abusers and a willingness to help them, will only make the world a better place for all of us.
    Peachtree likes this.
  19. Sevrin

    Sevrin Member

    I hate generalizations. I think it's okay to have a general opinion, but to make absolute statements about the non-specific usually grinds my nerves. Do all drug users deserve sympathy? No. Do all of them not deserve sympathy? Once again, no. I think it's a very situational judgement to make, if judgement even needs to be made in the first place. I'm slightly offended that someone could claim to have no sympathy at all for other's suffering, and it does come across as cold. I actually wasn't sure if this was a serious post until I read further on. I would say don't even think about saying something about others unless you know their situation and what they went through to get where they are today. And even then, instead of judging them, think about whether they can be helped or not.
    Peachtree and Zyni like this.
  20. SarahWorksAtHome

    SarahWorksAtHome Community Champion

    Cold? Yes. Uneducated and inexperienced? Possibly and that may be why. Have you never experienced addiction first hand or had a loved one fight it? Have you not realized there is almost always a heartbreaking reason WHY? It's not common that someone just "decides" to do something one day that becomes an addiction for no reason. For women it's often that they've been raped, abused, let down, ignored, neglected or hurt. For men, sometimes it is those same things or loss of ego/pride/dignity causing despair. Nobody WANTS to be an addict.
    Havasu99, Peachtree, Tremmie and 2 others like this.