Are there any normal, everyday activities that you have given up because of a fear of it compromising your sobriety? Not just things like buying drugs or going to bars, but things that irrational, and make no sense to anyone else? I won't go drink coffee with my ex and his fiancée. They don't do drugs, at all. But there for a long time I didn't go drink coffee with a benzo or two in my system. I won't take a nap, because if I can't sleep that night I'm afraid I'll want beer. I don't talk on the phone to anyone, because I'll want a benzo and an oxy mixed so I'll be more talkative.
Not really something specific but I stopped going to any social events or anything for a while until I got my life back on track. There was so much anxiety pilling on me that I just couldn't cope with it. I was unable to hold relationships for a while.
I don't know if this is a relevant example, but I should perhaps tell you about how my dad stopped smoking over 20 years ago. He used to be a heavy smoker and giving up cigarettes as abruptly as he wanted to turned out to be a herculean task for him. However, he found out that not hanging out with his smoker colleagues during lunch breaks abated his incessant urge to smoke again. Little by little, he became accustomed to it, and now, after all these years, he proudly admits he hasn't touched a cigarette ever since. So yes, I guess giving up some things to combat your addiction is worth it in the long run.
I could somehow relate to you. Aside from anxiety problems, I also have trust issues. It's really not that easy for me to trust other people, that's why I only got few friends who I know will never leave me and will always be there for me when I need them.
Not really, but as soon as I get stressed I start to play with stuff, I used to use a deck of cards but that was apparently quite annoying, but I start to fiddle with anything that keeps my hands busy.
I used to know a person, who was a friend at the time, that was recovering from alcohol abuse. He would never go into convenience stores because it was so easy to get alcohol there. He was strong enough to resist the urge to drink, but convenience stores made him feel strange for whatever reason. At the time, he said he didn't like going in them because that's almost always where he'd get his alcohol from on binging nights. I guess that's not exactly an irrational fear.
I listen to music a lot less nowadays since I listened to music a lot during a turbulent phase in my life. What really bugs me is I'm really interested in music or at least I used to be but now I kind of feel like just moving on and finding something else to spend my time on though I am trying to reincorporate it into my life again.
I know exactly what you mean. My before bed ritual used to consist of beer, cigarettes, and music. I never watched tv or sat in a quiet room. I even had my favorite songs on repeat sometimes... All By Myself, My Drinking Song, and Me and my Alcoholic Friends. I avoid certain places for that exact same reason, I don't know if this is how it is for your friend, but I worry being back in that same place and doing the same thing will feel too comfortable and too familiar. It may cause me to decide its ok... Just this once
Somethings do need to be changed to avoid a certain amount of stress and temptation that can lead to a relapse.
I think it's good that you have been able to identify specific things that could be problematic. Perhaps some of the habits need to be changed completely, but others may allow for substitutes. Maybe you can drink tea while talking on the phone or something like that. Just a thought. I know I have many habits that I'll have to change yet.
I had to avoid bars, nightclubs and parties when I was getting clean. Someone always had coke at these places and I didn't trust myself to say no if it was offered. I took an evening job instead, purely to keep me occupied.