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Not sure if they are....

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by kcareconnections, Oct 27, 2014.

  1. I have a family member whom I think is using drugs. I really have not proven it yet. They are acting quite different in the past few months. They seem to have excessive mood swings. The person seems to be having financial issues without any good explanation. They sometimes have physical appearances (restricted pupils and such) as if they are using. What should I do?
  2. LostmySis

    LostmySis Senior Contributor

    It is hard to tell how stress can affect people. Unless you are in a relationship with that person, you cannot know what their financial circumstances are truly like. Did he/she have a large student loan and now his company is downsizing so he is worried? Is his/her romantic relationship or workplace causing stress?

    Without evidence, you might just want to ask if things are all right, and if he needs to talk. Perhaps ask other friends or family if they see changes in this person. Try not to be accusatory, but offer support if it is needed. Good luck
  3. Allen24

    Allen24 Active Contributor

    I agree with lostmysis. You never know what could be going on, even if you have suspicions. Try to offer support or lend an ear.
  4. DancingLady

    DancingLady Community Champion

    Be available to this person as much as you can to support them. Since you don't know for sure if this is drug related, approach it without making any assumptions and see what happens from there. If you accuse them or say things that suggest you think that is what is going on, and they are not doing drugs, they will feel betrayed and probably not want to be around you. If you can spend more time with them, you may be able to find out what is really going on and offer them help and support with whatever the issue is.
  5. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I think the best way is to bring it up without any tone of accusation. Often people will withdraw if they feel they are being accused, but if it's just a casual question that they know won't lead to judgement then they might be more pen to answering and us maybe more open to discussing it further.
  6. bellahpereira

    bellahpereira Member

    I think the best thing you can do at the moment, is be a friend. This person seems like they might be going through a lot of stress, and unless you share that stress with them, you can never really know how bad their situation is. Using is never a solution to any problem, but it might seem like it to someone who is out of ideas on what to do. I think lending a shoulder to cry on and an open ear is the best thing you can do right now. Remind them frequently that you care about them and that you are there to listen if they ever need anything and that you will not pass judgment on their decisions. In my experience, this has been the most effective way to have someone fully open up to you. Good luck :)
  7. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    I don't know if it'd be possible to covertly slip a drug test kit without them noticing it. You usually need a urine sample to check whether an individual is abusing. Maybe you can just try to ask them sincerely. Are you close to that person? If so, then you'd have every right to know the real score. If not, then you'd risk straining your relationship even further. Still, the more sincere your approach is, the better you earn their trust.