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Not sure what to do. Help :(

Discussion in 'Heroin' started by Meg1344, Sep 27, 2014.

  1. Meg1344

    Meg1344 Member

    My boyfriend and I have been together for five years. 2 years ago he was in a really bad motorcycle accident (both legs, pelvis, one arm and his collarbone were broken). Our lives haven't been the same since. He was never the type of person to use drugs or really drink more than a few times a month when we went out with our friends. Something happened to him when he was on the pain killers. He had to be on them for months, and it took a long time for the doctors to wean him off even after he was fully recovered from the crash. I knew he had been buying Vicodin from a friend. Today I found a syringe under the bathroom sink.

    I'm not sure how to even bring this up to him.
    Joseph likes this.
  2. Jen S.

    Jen S. Guest

    Hi Meg,
    I am so glad he was able to recover from such a bad accident - how terrifying. It sounds like he may have become addicted to the long-term pain management meds in more than just a physical way, which is sad because something like this can happen to just about anyone. Did you try talking to him about the Vicodin before finding the syringe today? I guess I'm just wondering if you already have a general idea of how me might react to you bringing it up.
  3. Meg1344

    Meg1344 Member

    Yes, when I tried to talk to him about the Vicodin he got really upset. Acted like a different person. Just really angry and defensive. That's why I want to figure out the best way to talk to him about the needle. :(
  4. Jen S.

    Jen S. Guest

    Is his family aware of what's going on? Close friends, etc?
    Nick W. likes this.
  5. Shannon Campo

    Shannon Campo Member

    Hi Meg. I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend. I know this is a difficult thing for you to be going through. The best approach that I can recommend is that you go to him out of a place of love and concern. Tell him that you're worried about him. He may react the same way, but it's not something you can just overlook. Being there for him, and supporting him in the right ways are vital during this difficult time in both of your lives.

    As a former IV heroin addict myself, I can tell you that this drug has a powerful effect on people. In my opinion, it's evil. I've seen it change people, and it definitely changed me. Be aware that you can do everything in your power to help him, but the decision to quit is ultimately up to him.

    There are lots of great resources out there to help you both. I pray that you will have the strength to talk to him, and that he will have the strength to walk away from this addiction.
    Nick W. likes this.
  6. Meg1344

    Meg1344 Member

    Thanks Jen and Shannon. I asked him about it last night and his reaction was kinda surprising. He wasn't mad. Just really, really sad. I'm helping him find a rehab to go to.
    Joseph likes this.
  7. maryannballeras

    maryannballeras Senior Contributor

    It's great to know that he did not react violently towards it. I hope everything goes well with the rehab. The fact that he wasn't mad is an indication that he's still there and he's not fully taken over by the substance. There's still hope.
    Jen S. likes this.
  8. Profit5500

    Profit5500 Senior Contributor

    Well seeing the syringe needle on the ground could mean he was doing heroin. I think that the accident he had must have really affected him to where he needed to cope with the incident.
  9. Jen S.

    Jen S. Guest

    How's he doing, Meg?
    How are YOU? :)
    MrsJones and Joseph like this.
  10. Nick W.

    Nick W. Community Listener Community Listener

    The truth is, it's pointless to speculate. It could be heroin, it could me other things as well. When you bring it up he's going to be defensive, he's maybe going to get angry, and he's going to be embarrassed. That's going to happen even if it's "not as bad" as you think it is. That's the nature of people in general. The real deal here is that you have to be strong, not back down, and keep the conversation going. You also have to keep yourself safe, physically and emotionally. I'm glad to read that things went well with the conversation, just remember this is a fight that he's going to be fighting for awhile, and if you're in his corner, and there to support him, that means calling him on any BS too. Tough love is still love.
    MrsJones and Joseph like this.
  11. Profit5500

    Profit5500 Senior Contributor

    It has to be heroin if you are talking about a syringe just lying on that floor. I think confronting him would be the tricky part but it has to be done for his sake.
  12. Charli

    Charli Community Champion

    I'm glad you guys were able to work it out. Hopefully you could find some time to let yourself heal as well as your boyfriend is healing because situations like these tend to take a toll on everyone and not just the main person involved. I wish you guys well and I hope the next posts from you will be happy ones.
    Nick W. likes this.
  13. diecarmona

    diecarmona Member

    I think you shouldn't be so quick to judge. There's plenty intravenous drugs he could be doing. We are only sure it's drugs because the guy is going to rehab, but for all we knew, it could've been steroids or something. It coul be methadone, amphetamines, even cocaine is doable by IV.

    As to Meg, I'm a recovering heroin addict, if your boyfriend is addicted to heroin, you are probably in for a long ride. If you love him, stick up for him and be his rock, this is going to be the hardest time of his life.
    Joseph and Nick W. like this.
  14. Nick W.

    Nick W. Community Listener Community Listener

    diecarmona is correct, heck, it could be insulin for all we know. Ask questions, try your hardest to get to the bottom of things without outright accusing, and play it smart. That's the best you can do.
    Joseph likes this.
  15. Adrianna

    Adrianna Community Champion

    Well he is he is still in pain I guess. Probably saying anything directly might not work. Depends upon his personality. If he respects your opinion and takes to your suggestions, then be direct. If he is more the kind to disagree with you and not think much of your opinion. An alternative approach would be better. If you need the alternative approach then do you really want to be with him? You should be able to communicate without feeling like if you say something he might not like it. Your opinion should be important to him.
    Traumatic events and pain can really change a person. If it is a pain issue there are plenty of natural alternatives that are effective. Somewhere on here I posted a list of anti-inflammatory herbs if you surf.
    The vicodin could change his personality and make him defensive.
    I just read through your posts. Interesting, if he will get help. There is nothing sad about that. This is really good. The defensive that continues to abuse is the sad one.
  16. amethyst

    amethyst Community Champion

    I think that a gentle, open confrontation is the way to go. How else can you help your boyfriend, but to open a few doors and see what is going on with him. Speculations only create more tension and fear, and the imagination can go haywire. Why not have a chat, approaching the subject from a friendly, non-opinionated angle? A first step towards change... for the better.
    Nick W. likes this.
  17. angel_lou

    angel_lou Active Contributor

    Sometimes people just need a bit of privacy to deal through there own stuff. Maybe he'd appriciate it if you just let him be for a while, if you try and force help where its not wanted, you can end up making the whole situation worse. Best of luck to you and a prayer for you both.
  18. juliaintheclouds

    juliaintheclouds Active Contributor

    Wow, that's quite a tough situation, I'm trying to imagine how I'd react if I found a syringe in our house. Since you mentioned that he gets very defensive about the vicodin maybe you should write your thoughts down for him in the form of a letter. Tell him that you want to respect him but how much you love him and want to support him through this. The distance of writing can give him some time to absorb what you have to say with less conflict. That's the best advice I have, I wish you luck.
  19. oraclemay

    oraclemay Community Champion

    He obviously realizes that he has a major problem and needs to fix it. I think he is embarrassed and was looking for help. It is good that he is willing to get help and that means you are already half way there. I wish you all the best. It certainly looks like your future is positive.