On the "other side"

I am on the other side of addiction in that I am the sister of a drug abuser and the Aunt of an x-drug abuser who is in recovery and sharing his experience with others through a support group. I have a plethora of stores to share if anyone is interested. This site is for sure a site that is much needed and should be spread far and wide to help not only recovering addicts, but the families and friends who love them. There is a lot of heartache in my story as I'm sure there is in many others, but maybe by sharing our stories with each other we can help just ONE person.....and that is a good start.....one at a time. I will return to this forum to share my story if there is an interest. Thanks for listening and I hope to contribute something valuable to the group.

Addiction affects not only the drug taker, but the rest of the friends and family surrounding that person aswell. A lot of people don't understand the effects and devastation in can cause, and think it's just something that the person taking the drug must deal with.

Everybody who as been affected by an addiction is welcome on this forum, and I'm sure we all hope you return and share your story. Wether it's just a place to get things off your chest, a place to come for help and support, or if you simply just want to help others, this forum will always be here and if your story helps just one person on here, then that can be life changing to the individual.

Thank you pwarbi for the words of encouragement. Yes, I have many stories to tell. The first one will be about my younger brother who was born on my 8th birthday! He was like a little baby doll to me! I did almost everything for him and was a really big help to my mom (or so she said). He was the baby of the family and of course got spoiled to the max by everyone. By the time he was 17, he was falling in the wrong crowds. My parents were blind to what was happening, but I picked up on it quickly. He soon spiraled out of control and left home. All the talking in the world did NO good from me, and my parents continued to be in denial. This baby brother of mine was tall, handsome, and quite the ladies man. He was smart, even though he dropped out of school to pursue his new venture of drugs, and he always seemed to hold down a job, even though he had many. This will be an on going story that will take some time to tell, and I just wanted to paint the picture of a young man and how it all came to be. I will continue with this lengthy story soon. Please be patient with me since I am new to the forum thing and want to do a good job telling my story. Thanks!

Hello there @13toomany! Welcome to the forum and we are really happy to have you here. I hope to hear more from you soon and be able to learn a couple of things from your experiences in life.

Let us keep on motivating other people. Keep in touch!

Thank you @dynmarie25! I am happy to be here! To slightly continue my story, My brother continued his spiral down. He did one thing well.....he always kept a job. Not a lazy person by any means and if you were to meet him, you'd think "wow, what a nice, charming young man". Outwardly he did not seem like the addict type that some people have an image of. As he continued his spiral, he met and became involved with a few nice young ladies....not sure how that happened, but he did. It wasn't long before a few of them became entangled in his life style. It was a very sad thing for sure. He also started to become a little violent with his girlfriends. As he became more involved in the drug world, he became darker and darker. Still, my parents were in denial of his impending doom.

Hello 13toomany welcome to the forum. I am so glad that you found us and are able to share your stories with us. Thank you for taking the time to share the story of your brother. I know this must be really difficult for you. It is so hard to stand by and watch our loved ones destroying their lives and as much as we try there is really nothing we can do about it until they are ready to make that change and hopefully it happens before it is too late. I will be watching this forum as you continue your story of your brother's downward spiral.

A little more about the story of my little brother. As the years went on, my parents became older and of course had many health problems to go along with that. I had moved to another state and so it was difficult to keep tabs on my brothers's shady comings and goings with them. He has such a way with our mother that he could do no wrong in her eyes. He even talked her into signing one of those "loan" offers than comes in the mail for $5,000 with the super high interest rate. We all know where that money went. Our mother, bless her soul, told no one until the bill collector was calling on the phone. I was able to get that one taken care of after many months of negotiations with the company. It seemed on a weekly basis he would come back home to try and scam something else from our parents who were surviving only on social security. These stories get much worse, believe me.

I feel for you and your family and what they had to go through with your brother's addiction. It is a rough road for anybody to have to travel. I will be watching for more as you continue to post your family's story.

Welcome to the forum! It must be hard to be related to a hardcore drug addict. Aside from the stress that they cause you, they can rob you and be violent to you as well. They can influence other people too to join them in their thrashy lifestyle. Looking forward to the updates in your story!

Thank you all for the warm welcome. Yes, I am hoping that some may pick up on some valuable hints on how to deal with an addict. My story continues. Since my parents were not in good health, I worried about them constantly. I brought them to visit me for an extended visit one time hoping to ease their worry about my brother and to give them some much needed rest. We had a wonderful visit until I got a call from someone who knew my brother and said perhaps we should come home, that they thought my brother had broken into my parents home. I didn't want my parents to know this, so I drove them home this time. We arrived and sure enough, my brother had emptied out their modest home. Every thing from t.v.'s to microwaves......all gone. I tried to convince them on the spot to call the police. My mother, of course, would not hear of it. She feared he would be locked up and things would be worse for him. Hard as I tried, I could not convince her. My father, being the kind man that is was, gave into her wishes and they didn't press charges. You can imagine my disappointment and hurt of this. My story will continue. Thanks for reading.

So that everyone will know, my brother is still alive (hard to believe) and we have not been in contact for a few years because he was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver and hepatitis C a few years back and had to quit his job, so feeling sorry for him (once again) and with my parents now deceased, I brought him to live with my husband and I. We bought him a small travel trailer to put on our property, paid all his bills and worked to get him on disability. He became so ill that he was placed on a transplant list. About 10 months after this happened, he became increasingly depressed and restless. His disability came through and his health stabilized somewhat and things began to happen again. Little things missing......staying away from home for hours at a time. All the signs were there.....he was back to drinking and drugs. We (my husband and I) had no choice but to ask him to leave. It breaks my heart that he has taken the opportunity to perhaps get well with a transplant, and throw it away, but this shows you the power of drugs. Not even his life is worth saving in lieu of his drugs. I expect one day to get the phone call that has been coming since he started this downward spiral once again.

@MrsJones it has been over 3 years since I've been in direct contact with my brother. I do have another brother who was in contact with him on a regular basis, but now brother #1 has stopped contact with him as well. This is something he does throughout the years as his addition progresses. As for me, I am doing ok.....I hate to think the way I do about the "phone call", and pray it never happens, but fear that it will. There are 5 of us in my family. I am the only female......I have 3 older brothers and the youngest is the one I speak of. Thanks for your concern.

It is a wonderful thing that these forums exist. I just wish there was a way to reach more people with them so that maybe, just maybe something said here would touch their lives and help them make the right decisions or perhaps give them a way to deal with their struggle. I will continue to post when I can and hope to continue to contribute to this forum and others.

As somebody else stated, addiction doesn't only hurt the addict, but it hurts the people around them, the people that care about the addict, even more. Just think about the fact that the addict might even feel joy, or he/she only feels joy while under influence, but the people around them are in pain because of this, and are in pain constantly.