An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the Forums?Join or

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Discussion in 'Marijuana' started by Jeff, Mar 11, 2015.

  1. Jeff

    Jeff Member

    So I've been trying to quit smoking everything cannabis related.
    This might be irrelevant to you, in the sense that you may be struggling with much stronger, and destructive addictions, but it is in no means irrelevant to me, or my life.

    I've been doing pretty ok.
    But I was just shy of the two week mark when friends invited me to a little party.
    I told myself it was ok to go there, and that I probably should not avoid social situations in order for things to workout.
    I started to drink moderately, but shots began being served, and soon enough, joints being made.
    Because of the alcohol, my hability to control myself got severely diminished, and I ended up smoking.
    That only led to more drinking, and long story short, I got in a fight with a friend of mine because of some girl who was there.
    I have no memory of it, but I woke up with a black eye, and got the facts from people who were there.
    Had to go to work with a black eye, which was just embarrassing, and just feel like crap...

    I know that there's probably nothing that anyone can say, but just writing helps...

    God bless you.
  2. missbishi

    missbishi Community Champion

    Well, you aren't the first person to behave like this after too much to drink and you certainly won't be the last, so try not to worry too much. Do you need to apologise to your friend? If so, you'll start to feel a little better once you've done it.
    pandabear1991 likes this.
  3. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    Tell it or write it and sometimes that's enough to make you feel better. I'd say you messed up but that's no reason to give up. Rome was not built in a day and don't think for one minute I am justifying your behaviour. Why do I sound like a mother chastising her child? Maybe it's because I am :).

    Still I will encourage you to hold your head up and your chin up and do much better the next time. It's not how many times you fall, it's how many times you get up. Mend that friendship if it means apologizing and let's get back to staying out of trouble. The sun will come out tomorrow.
    pandabear1991 likes this.
  4. xTinx

    xTinx Community Champion

    Well, then let me also say that it's best to control yourself the next time around. I always tell people that they're better than they're addiction because it seems like it's the substance that enslaves them rather than the other way around. It's not all over for you yet and I do believe that this mistake should serve as a reminder to you every time you're tempted to smoke again.
    pandabear1991 likes this.
  5. jon

    jon Active Contributor

    Yeah, I know it can be tough to stay strong sometimes and not give in. It took me a while to get off of pot, but I finally found the strength to do it.
  6. dyanmarie25

    dyanmarie25 Community Champion

    Yes, writing about it really do help. Anyway, back to your story, I hope what happened to you before will now serve as a lesson to you. It's much better to stay away from smoking and alcohol to avoid future complications. Have a great life!
  7. Jeff

    Jeff Member

    Thank you for your comments, folks!
    I'm feeling a bit better.
    Haven't talked to the guy. We'll see how that goes, but honestly, I'm more concerned with my stuff...

    Take care.
  8. juno

    juno Community Champion

    One of the first things in quitting is to change friends who use. You pretty much have to avoid parties where you know that kind of stuff is going on. It is a hard step to change your social life, but a necessity as it is probably one of the reason you started using.
    pandabear1991 likes this.
  9. bluedressed

    bluedressed Community Champion

    I remember reading this advice on the subreddit nofap:

    Make a "calendar" thing counting your days instead of just counting a streak. If you have relapses, note them down, but get back to what you were doing before, without worrying this much about breaking the count. You still made it almost fourteen days without smoking -- it might feel like the last time you did invalidates your efforts so far, but they don't. It's fourteen clean days more than you had last month. Now, go on and make it a month where you had this problem just once. Next month, you can do better.

    But even if you don't, it's important to recall that one mishap is not the end of the journey. You don't start back to zero, you just pick yourself up from where you left off. Like the Japanese proverb: fall seven times, stand up eight.

    Good luck.
  10. OhioTom76

    OhioTom76 Senior Contributor

    Change your circle of friends. Seriously, it's hard to say exactly what went down that led to your altercation - but as guilty as you may be feeling, it might not have been entirely your fault, so it's not worth beating yourself up so much over it. Some addicts are really catty and manipulative towards others and even if you aren't fighting with them directly, they often like to stir up **** amongst others. There are people out there who just like to push other people's buttons and instigate crap.

    Some of my friends and I noticed this about a mutual (former) friend of ours. Every single time he was in the picture, and we were all together drinking, someone was always getting into an argument either with him, or some of us with each other. The drunker he got he would constantly slip in little cracks and smartass remarks about everyone here and there, or blab something private that one person said to another person to get them pissed off. We just stopped inviting him, and viola, our whole dynamic changed for the better.
    pandabear1991 likes this.
  11. sazzydan

    sazzydan Active Contributor

    Perhaps this will motivate you better than anything and you may, in the end, be stronger because of it. This looks like it has effected you in a big way. I think you know yourself that it was a mistake, but the trick is not to beat yourself up about it, jump straight back on your horse and move on. It was just a weak point, which I am just about sure your not going to do again.

    I would suggest that if you have a drink, drink with people who do not smoke, this will make it a much more enjoyable occasion rather than battling with yourself not to take it. Perhaps these friends are not true friends if they passed you a joint when they know you are trying to quit.

    Look at it this way, you quit for two weeks already before this, so you were clearly doing well anyway. So well done for that. Just continue with the hard work you have put in already, but if you cannot control yourself when having a drink, then perhaps cut out drinking for a couple of months too, just to help you out.

    Keep it up Jeff, I look forward to reading your success story soon!
    pandabear1991 likes this.
  12. pandabear1991

    pandabear1991 Active Contributor

    When I had to quit smoking, I had to separate myself from friends who did smoke. I could care less what they did, but until I was clean enough that I could refuse any temptation (took almost 2 months) to smoke, I just couldn't be around them. They understood, and the ones I did continue to hang out with who did smoke were nice enough to consider what I was doing, and chose not to bring it around me, or allow their friends to either.

    My suggestion, until you can easily say no, best to just separate yourself from them until you easily can. Best of luck to ya!
  13. serenity

    serenity Community Champion

    You didn't say that you are tempted to smoke again after that incident, so I think you're doing a pretty good job of managing your addiction. Just don't go to situations like what you mentioned that are susceptible to tempt you into smoking and drinking again.
  14. wahmed

    wahmed Active Contributor

    I can tell you this everyone makes mistakes and stupid, stupid errors. It's great that your trying and I know it's hard to stay at home and avoid these social situations but if you are so intent on quitting then just buck up and dig in your nails and avoid social situations until you have it under control.