An American Addiction Centers Resource

New to the Forums?Join or

Out Of The Loop

Discussion in 'Helping an Addicted Loved One' started by JonMark, Feb 6, 2015.

  1. JonMark

    JonMark Active Contributor

    I have a cousin who is or was addicted to pills. This was years ago, he said he would pass out in his breakfast plate. As a result, he's somewhat permanently damaged where he's got some liver disease or something like that. He's a really nice guy and still has some recreational activity but he's also very committed to the work he does for his dad, running his dad's company.

    The thing is that he's hard to see. Meaning that, he's hard to get a hold of, tends to keep to himself. He's possibly the only person in the family who went into the deepest part of the pool and barely got out with permanent scars. Not sure I'm too worried about him now. But it's just so difficult to connect with him or depend on him to hang out for whatever. He's always on the go as if he's got better things to do.
  2. KNH

    KNH Active Contributor

    Sometimes it can be very hard to connect with current or past addicts. Have you shared your concern with him?
  3. AFKATafcar

    AFKATafcar Community Champion

    Whether he's a current, recovering, or past addict, perhaps this is how he deals with or fights addiction. He could work extra hard in order to avoid relapsing or something similar to that. It might be a good idea to talk to him about your feelings of the whole situation. Still, some people simply prefer being alone and working hard rather than interacting with tons of people, including close family members.
    JonMark likes this.
  4. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    Hi JonMark, welcome. I'm not trying to be nosy but you left a lot out, so here it goes...

    When was the last time you spoke to your cousin? Were you and he close, is this why you are concerned? What ways have you tried to contact him?
  5. JonMark

    JonMark Active Contributor

    Well, like I said, it's super hard to get a hold of him. My mom sees him at random, like she saw him today. He doesn't return calls, he doesn't give out his address; he's just hard to track. I have to say though that I haven't really put it as priority. But the other thing is that, I'm pretty sure he's doing well. I don't have any sense -- true or false -- that he's in any kind of danger. It wasn't like I was actually present when he was going through it.

    I guess the final thing would also be that, if he wanted any help he might want to reach out. I'm not going anywhere and he knows how to get a hold of me. Know what I mean?
  6. MrsJones

    MrsJones Community Listener Community Listener

    Running a business, even if it's for a relative, can be very occupying. When he is ready to come up for air maybe he'll get in touch with you.
  7. KNH

    KNH Active Contributor

    I agree. I think he will reach out if he needs to. :) It sounds like he is doing alright - running his dad's company and all. I don't think there's any harm in you not making him a priority as long as he seems fine and isn't relapsing or doing anything else to harm himself.
  8. cpinatsi

    cpinatsi Senior Contributor

    Looks like you will have to find an alternative way to approach him after all these things he has gone through. Difficult but not impossible in my opinion, it just needs a bit of work and plenty of time.