I paid to get 2 of my adult children some help. I didn't know for years they had pill problems. I spent thousands of dollars enrolling them, buying bloodwork, and paying for counselors and med refills. I feel like a failure because they have both failed. I have heard some good stories about clinics saving lives, but I feel like I'm going to get the dreaded phone call and my nerves are a wreck. one person insists on injecting subox & also smokes crack occasionally. one person is completely addicted to xanax and abuses a long list of other prescription meds like baclafin, tramadol, various benzos, etc. While it is true that neither of them are using opiates like lortab,percocet, etc, I still feel that the opiate abuse clinics (they each went to a different clinic) did not fix these people.
I feel so bad for you as a mother myself I know how helpless you are feeling when you can't help your kids. No matter how hard you try it never seems to be enough, but giving up on them isn't a option. My son drinks way to much I worry for him all the time the weekends are the worst no doubt. Talking to him does no good I just pray for him. I wish you all the best try not to blame yourself to much, but I know that is hard. As a mother we tend to do that because we can't fix want is broken.
karmaskeeper is spot on - you can't blame yourself because you can't help your kids. The road to recovery is a long one and ultimately there's no real 'silver-bullet' I think. It's a lot of little hard-fought steps one foot at a time. I think you did the right thing by helping them get into the system, and try wean them off their addiction. Bear in mind though, you can spend all the money in the world but the change can only really come from them. Supporting, helping and motivating them is all you can do, so don't be too hard on yourself - as much as you'd want, they fight the battle. You can't fight it for them. But remember, we're here to listen and help, so keep getting those things off your chest and we'll keep listening and supporting you every step of the way. You have our thoughts!!
I say it everytime I admit someone to my facility. "We can't do anything for you that you don't want yourself." If they aren't ready to quit, they won't, no matter how good or expensive the program is.