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Parenting and pot

Discussion in 'Marijuana' started by bavinnie, May 4, 2015.

  1. bavinnie

    bavinnie Member

    Let me just start off by saying, as of right now I'm not a parent. But I will be soon, I just found out my wife is pregnant and maybe it's (way) to early to be thinking about this sort of thing but I can't shake it so I'm going to ask for your opinions. When the day comes, and I'm sure it will what is an effective way to deal with your kid trying/smoking pot. I mean I want them to be safe, healthy but I don't want to make myself their enemy by belittling them so how would or better yet, have you dealt with these types of situations?
  2. diprod

    diprod Active Contributor

    I say don't tell them not to do it. The more restrictions there are in a family, the more reasons for kids to do what they shouldn't do.
  3. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    Its only natural I think that people will do something even more if you tell them not to.

    I'm not a parent myself but I know others that are and it's a tricky situation. I have no doubt that no matter how much you try and protect your child from drugs, they are going to come into contact with them eventually. Knowing that your open to discuss things like that can be helpful.
  4. henry

    henry Community Champion

    While it could be true they might do it even more if you tell them not to, you wouldn't be a responsible parent if you don't. I tell you this because I remember asking some of my friends if their parents knew they smoked, and some of them told me their parents knew, but just didn't care. By the look on their faces, I just knew they wished their parents had told them something. It shows you care. The trick is knowing HOW to tell them, not ignoring it.
  5. bavinnie

    bavinnie Member

    Thanks henry, my parents were a whole other story and smoking weed would have never even come up in that with them so to be honest I have so little experience in how and when to deal with a situation like that, that it is a bit scary to think of for me because I know it will be a reality one day. Balancing between showing you care and being overbearing is like a tightrope walk for a lot of kids especially in their teens but I hope by then I know them well enough to figure out where the lines are, and how not to cross them when bringing up sensitive subjects.
  6. JoshPosh

    JoshPosh Community Champion

    I was raised with tough love and swift back hand. When my family says not to do something they were dead serious. Same thing applies here. You are the parent and what you say goes. That the bottom line. None this "oh I don't want to hurt their feelings crap". Your word is absolute.
  7. Martha

    Martha Member

    You have to be firm with your children and learn to say no to them. If you do not do so, you will regret it one day. My parents were very strict with me and as a result I am able to live free of addiction.

    I have a friend of mine who is married and has a teenage son. He has been very lenient with all his children and could never say no to anything bad that they used to do. Today his son is an addict and he's not able to do anything for his son. I feel sad but there's not much I can do.
  8. pwarbi

    pwarbi Community Champion

    Some parents seem to allow their children to smoke pot, but only in their own home. Their view is that they're likely to do it anyway so they'd rather them do it while they're safe at home than on a street corner somewhere.

    While I can see the logic in that, it's something I don't think I can condone but at the end of the day, it has to be down to the parent.
  9. henry

    henry Community Champion

    Most kids start experimenting with drugs for different reasons. Some do it out of curiosity, some out of rebellion, and some do it because of some problem, be it at school, at home, or because of some girl or boy they like and are not corresponded. The trick is to figure out which one is it. I know it's not as easy as it sounds, but usually talking to them reveals the problem. That's why you've got to develop a relation of trust between you and your kids early on, so when they have any type of problem, they can come to you, or when you ask them about something, they'll be honest with you.
  10. Smarty

    Smarty Active Contributor

    Forbidding something is the most certain way to make kids want it more. So, try to explain why it's not good for them. Give them the freedom to take the higher road themselves. If that fails though, it's time for you to step up as a parent and take active measures.
  11. AAngelo

    AAngelo Senior Contributor

    I don't think it is worth thinking about right now. I mean, of course thinking of your future child's well-being is important. But then again, research is still being conducted on weed. Who knows, maybe by the time your child gets to the point he gets curious with pot, research would reveal it is actually really good for a growing person or it is the worst thing on earth. I won't give an exact advise on parenting your kid when it comes to pot. But I would say keep an open communication with him. Be sure to be there for questions and have proper information for answers.
  12. westmixxin

    westmixxin Active Contributor

    Some individual sitdown and smoke with their children. They prefer for them the smoke with them than to go out in the world and smoke would strangers. I'm not necessarily sure that's the best method but it definitely does sound like a preventative move.
  13. Tremmie

    Tremmie Community Champion

    The best way to handle this is simply having the drug talk as early as you think it's convenient, I think it's better to do it before they start feeling tempted to try it. You need to earn their trust, so they can open up with you if they are faced with temptation... just like they would with a friend, but still remain being a parent, so they respect you. I think this the best approach, other approach only make you seem naggy and you end up pushing them apart even more. Use your best judgement, results can vary depending on the personality of the kid.
  14. Winterybella

    Winterybella Community Champion

    Parenting is tricky business and I have never seen the perfect handbook if you exclude the Bible. It's natural to be concerned as a parent especially in these times we are living in. I feel like you'll know what to do when the time is right. I think it is so important to develop a relationship where your kids trust you enough to tell you just about anything.

    Too many times I have seen or heard of those who end up running to drugs and persons dealing drugs because parents were too harsh and unapproachable. I have honestly heard of way too many stories where parents either neglected their kids or were overly protective with negative results. Like Temmie said use your best judgement knowing that the results will vary depending on the personality of the child.

    In the meantime I trust the pregnancy is going well as you look forward to welcoming the little one.
  15. Rosyrain

    Rosyrain Community Champion

    Congrats on the baby first off! You have to be careful with kids because if you tell them no to something, they are going to sneak behind your back and do it anyway. It is a fine art of psychology that you have to play with the wee ones. I would suggest just educating them on all of the bad effects of drugs and alcohol and hope that they make good decisions.
  16. Nergaahl

    Nergaahl Community Champion

    Just try your best to give them good education and discipline them (but not in a very restrictive way, I am talking about the way which will make them respect you and the rules of the house). Also, try to keep them away from social media like Facebook as much as possible. Seriously, this damages the thinking of the young ones. All the intelligent, conscious people I had met do not use social media.
  17. lalabee21

    lalabee21 Active Contributor

    When you’re a parent you have to talk to them about this and many other things. What I suggest is not giving your kid orders or prohibiting things, just say the truth. You’ll never get it wrong when you speak the truth. Marijuana is very common and probably by the time your baby is a teenager weed will be legalized everywhere. So either you talk to him about this stuff or someone else will. Just remember that there’s no one in this world that will love him as you and your wife will and for this reason there’s no one on this world that can advise him better than you two.
  18. Jenga

    Jenga Active Contributor

    I'm not sure how people would view this method of thinking, but be open with them about it. Explain its effects and it's consequences in a factual manner, not a scaremongering manner. Let them know that if they insistent on trying it, that it should be done in their own home, with you, so that they're at least safe. If you restrict them and try to control them, it could cause the exact opposite to happen.
  19. btalivny

    btalivny Active Contributor

    The child will do what they want. Instead of trying to indoctrinate them with what you think is right, try to educate them about the substance itself. If you wish to not allow them this knowledge of the benefits, then the best way would be to remind them about the ills that cannabis brings. Bring up articles every now and then that prove your point. The problem with raising a child in this era is that information spreads extremely quickly. Studies on cannabis are usually shown to be more or less positive which may confuse your child. You must maintain your negative side on the topic somehow. It will be mildly difficult but I believe with the right about of pressure, your child should end up believing you over scientific studies which may pop up. I say to give them knowledge because scaring your child into believing you is not a method you would want to approach (unless you do not want them to be open minded on the topic).
  20. deewanna

    deewanna Senior Contributor

    Human beings are naturally curious creatures. The more you restrict them from doing something, the more curious they become about that thing.
    But you should still maintain discipline in your home. You have to stand your ground and let your children know your stand. The fact is that you can't hide such things from your children forever, but you can start working on their personality from now.